Page 20 of Setting Limits

“Alright, relax, you’re not my mom.” Even though she’s my best friend, sometimes it feels like she cares about me and has my interests at heart more than my own mother.

“No, I’m not, but somebody needs to keep you on track.”

Lochlyn is staying unnervingly quiet. He was the one that made sure I went to high school, did my work, and tried my hardest to get into Cornell to appease our parents, to keep me from their wrath. Who really knows what that would have looked like, but we were both sure it was more than just cutting me off financially.

Shay turns to him, but he’s staring at his lap. “You could help, ya know.”

His eyes flip up to hers with fire behind them. “With what? I’ve done my part for Chelsea. If she wants to flunk out, let her.”

“Nice, Loch.” Wow. So great to know he cares. I have to shake my head to chase the tears away. Iwill notcry because of this. Not in front of them.

“Oh, I’m sorry, princess, did I not do enough for you when Mom and Dad decided they’d rather travel alone than spend time with their kids? Was making sure you went to school and cooking all your meals not enough?” The bite to his tone takes me aback, and I don’t know how to act. I never knew he felt so angry about it. And maybe I should have asked, but what would have become of me had he not stepped up? Isn’t that what siblings do for each other?

Maybe that right there is the problem. Because he’s my sibling, he gotstuckdoing all of those things because he’s a good guy, somebody who steps up.

“You okay if I leave to get us some food?” His voice is low, tight, but he barely looks at Shay.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. You alright? Want me to come with you?” I know she’d rather have him close, so she must feel like he’s a ticking bomb if she’s offering to go when she clearly doesn’t have to go anywhere.

“No, you stay. I’m good.”

He completely ignores me as he grabs his stuff and leaves.

“What’s his problem?” I wait until he’s out of earshot before I ask. I don’t need him overhearing and coming storming back yelling at me.

I worry that she’s not even going to acknowledge that I asked a question when she turns to me. “Chelsea, have you ever thanked him for everything he’s done for you?”

“Thanked him? Are you serious?” She’s joking, right?

She stares at me for a minute, and I realize that no, she’s not joking. “He was a teenager, left in charge of another teenager. One he had to watch out for and cook for and make sure you went to school.”

“They were only gone for like a week at a time. And your parents were always checking in on us.” While it gives my parents a bit more grace than they deserve, it isn’t totally inaccurate.

“Do you really not see how much he’s sacrificed for you?”

“Sacrificed for me? Are you serious? He still had fun, he still partied, he still slept around.”

Lochlyn’s life was no different except that I was at home and needing to eat daily. Which I would have been able to do regardless since my parents had people who left cooked meals. Almost like personal chefs who delivered the meals to heat. Sure, it wasn’t as lonely when Lochlyn was around, but I wouldn’t have been destitute. And I’m not sure I would have cared if I hadn’t made it to Cornell. It’s beautiful, and prestigious, and I’m lucky to be here. But is it what I want?

“So, he had his life too, but he was there for you. I mean, did you starve? Did you not eat all week? I was there a lot. You ate real, cooked meals. Somebody did that, and it sure as hell wasn’t you.” Her tone has a firmness and anger I didn’t expect. It makes me falter.

And then it makes me rage, shaking my head, nostrils flaring. “So, what, you guys start having sex and now you take his side on everything?”

“I always pointed out how much he did for you then too, how he was around and checking in on you and making sure you were taken care of. I’m trying to barter peace here. He’s hurt, Chels. About a lot of things. Not recognizing what he did for you, it’s just adding fuel to the fire. In the past few weeks, you’ve done a lot that’s about you. Really, you always have, at least where Lochlyn’s concerned.”

“He’s my brother.” Surely that carries some weight. Family is supposed to do things for each other, be there for each other, especially when they’re all the other has left. Right? Aren’t big brothers supposed to protect their baby sisters?

That’s one thing Mom and Dad always instilled. That Lochlyn’s job was to protect me, to look out for me. I remember hearing it from a young age. Maybe I was wrong in my interpretation of what that truly meant all this time.

“You’re right. He is. That doesn’t mean he has to do everything for you. Bend over backwards and jump at your command. We both denied our happiness foryearsbecause of you. And we broke up because of you. Now, we’re back together, we’re happy, I’ve been able to move past it. But you’ve never apologized to him or thanked him. It’s just one more thing you’ve been selfish about. I think he’s just tired of it.”

The rest of the time Lochlyn is out, I keep my mouth shut and focus on my thoughts.

When he returns, a heavenly smell fills the room. Fresh coffee mixed with greasy food.

“Now, I know it’s not the deli by the high school, but this place has pretty decent bacon, egg, and cheeses. And I got fresh coffees.” Balancing a bag in one hand and a coffee tray in the other, he walks in and kicks the door closed, setting both down on Shay’s desk before pulling out a coffee and handing it to her.

They must have been talking about the legendary deli. It’s one of the things I miss about home. Their breakfast sandwiches are epic.

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