Page 13 of Setting Limits

Lochlyn’s chest rises and falls steeply. He’s trying to keep himself calm, likely for Shay’s sake.

“Do you understand what you did? You hurt two of the people you say you love most in the world. For what? Because we fell in love with each other? I’m sorry that we did it under your nose. I’m sorry that we kept it a secret. I can see how that would hurt you, but it never should have been an issue to begin with. We shouldn’t need your permission.” Everything he said is completely true. And it’s something I’m dealing with, which he doesn’t know and couldn’t know. Because he stopped talking to me.

“I already said I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, maybe that’s just not good enough.”

“Loch, how long are you going to be mad at me?” My voice sounds small and meek, even to me. I can handle him being mad, I just can’t handle it long term. I can’t lose my brother.

“I don’t know. Maybe until you prove you’re okay with this. You’ve said it, but you need toproveit. I won’t let you tear us apart again.”

How do I prove it? What does that entail? “I brought you back here, didn’t I?” That has to count for something. Right? It can’t be meaningless or go as no effort on my part to right the wrong I made.

“Yeah, after you’d finally had enough of seeing the girl you claim is your best friend in pieces. For weeks.Weeks,Chelsea. And for what? Your comfort?”

“I-I—” There’s nothing to say, there are no words coming.

But suddenly Lochlyn looks down at Shay, and I think I’m saved. For now, at least.

“Hey, baby girl. How are you?” Gently, he brushes his knuckles against her cheek.

In response, Shay nuzzles into his chest and kisses him. It’s some of the first shows of true adoration that they’ve given each other.

When she sits up, she looks between both of us. “I don’t want you two fighting over me. So, this is what’s going to happen.”

She keeps her eyes on me while she speaks, taking Lochlyn’s hand in her own. There’s a fierceness in her eyes that I’ve never seen before, and it makes me want to shrink away a little bit.

“Lochlyn and I are going to be together. We never should have been apart. We’re happy together, and we love each other, a lot. I can understand that it may make you uncomfortable to see us together, so I promise we will do our best to keep anything beyond kissing out of this room. I don’t want you to be afraid to be in your own space.”

There’s that to appreciate at least. I’m not sure I could handle walking in on them in the act again.

“But that means I’ll be spending a lot of time at his apartment. We have a lot of time to make up for, thanks to you.” Ouch. That one hurts. “You should be happy for that, because it means you can have Brendan come up and stay in here. You won’t have to worry about being bothered.”

While the sentiment may be nice, I don’t really intend to have Brendan up to visit. He’s already made it pretty clear he’s less than interested in driving up here. I think when we came for the concert, he saw how exhausting of a drive it is, especially for one or two nights.

“I’m going to pack a bag with some clothes and my books and stay at Loch’s for a few days. I love you, Chels, but I’m hurt, and I’m mad. I had nowhere else to go for a few weeks. Now I do. And I want to be with him right now. More than I want to be with you. I need time to heal, and we need time to put the pieces back together.”

I can’t meet their eyes and instead look at the ground. “I’m sorry, guys. I really am. I understand, Shay. Go, spend the time you need. I’d even understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore.” This is the vulnerable side of me that I always try to keep hidden, even from Shay. It’s part of what makes me bold, outspoken, and oftentimes a selfish bitch.

“Chelsea, I still want to be your friend. But you hurt me. You made me choose between the two of you. That wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair. And I can promise you that it was not the easy choice you thought it was.” While some part of me always knew that, the knife twists all the same.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know how I could possibly begin to show you how truly sorry I am. I wish there was something I could—”

Shay holds her hand up to stop me. “It’s not necessary.”

“Well, I don’t know, babe,” Lochlyn grumbles.

She turns to him and puts a hand on his chest, a show of affection that I haven’t been privy to. “No, it’s not important. It doesn’t matter. We’re together now, in the open. No more secrets, no more lies. We lost time, but we can get it back. We can make up for what we lost. No need to hold a grudge.”

“You’re too good of a person for me, Shay. I don’t deserve you.”

“I agree.” While I’m trying to make light of the situation, it’s clear Lochlyn doesn’t approve or find it amusing as he glares at me and opens his mouth to say something. Thank God for Shay, who gets him to stop before he says something that I’m sure will be hurtful.

I stay on my bed and watch as Shay packs a bag. Lochlyn’s glaring at me, so I hold his gaze with a stare of my own. It’s not until Shay’s done and puts her hand on Lochlyn’s cheek and says something quietly that he breaks the connection.

As she gets up to leave, my eyes are a bit fuller than normal. “This isn’t goodbye, Chelsea. I just need some time, space. We”—she waves a hand between Lochlyn and herself—“need to be able to work through what happened. I chose you and turned him away, so we need to fix that.”

What I broke. They need to fix what I broke. It’s the most selfish moment of my life, and something I know I can’t take back or change.

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