Page 12 of Setting Limits

“I would have paid for that, ya know.” There’s a touch of irritation in his tone. I know most men prefer to pay. But this isn’t a date.

“That’s okay. I need to do it here and there. It’s a good habit for me, especially with money being a bit tighter than normal.”

I don’t really know what else to say to him. Something about his presence makes me feel nervous, something I don’t feel around guys. He was able to bring me comfort when I was here for the concert in the spring, but some of it was just being utterly captivated by him. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t know what to say, but I was too stunned to say anything at all.

“Alright, well, see ya around, Chels.”

“Yeah, see ya. Thanks for your input today, I really appreciate it.” And it helped me make my decision. If not for Wes, I’m not sure I would have brought Lochlyn back to see Shay, and things would still be a mess.

“You’re welcome. Your brother is a good guy, Chelsea. And he really loves Shay…a lot.”

“I can see that now. I just wish I had allowed space to see it sooner.”

With a small wave, he leaves me alone in the cafe. I was practically mute.

He must think I’m an idiot.

When I get back to the dorm, I take a breath and lean my head closer to the door, trying to listen for any sounds of something I may not want to see. I don’t hear any, so I open the door, but loudly say, “Hello! I’m coming in, I don’t want to see anybody nake—”

But Lochlyn shushing me is louder than my voice. It’s not until I’m fully in the room that I see Lochlyn leaning in the corner of Shay’s bed, the wall, and her desk with some pillows propped behind him. Shay’s curled up on his chest, and his arms are around her, one hand planted in her back pocket.

She looks so peaceful. Far more comfortable than she’s seemed in weeks.

“Shit, sorry.” I keep my voice just above a whisper so Lochlyn can hear me. “It’s been almost two hours. Has she been asleep the whole time?” I ended up grabbing a magazine at the cafe and flipping through for a while, then Marissa, a girl from down the hall, saw me and stopped to chat for a while. She seems nice. I may hang out with her again.

“Pretty much.”

“She hasn’t been sleeping well,” I murmur, because I don’t want Lochlyn to hear it, but know he will.

“I hope it was worth it.” His voice is quiet but dripping with anger.

“So, you really just sat here for almost two hours? Like that?”

“Yes, Chelsea, I really just sat here for two hours. Do you know why? Because it’s what she needs right now. It’s what I need.”

“Were you really willing to give me up for her? I’m your sister.” Maybe that doesn’t mean what I think it should or what I’ve always thought it does. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything besides sharing some DNA. It certainly doesn’t seem important to my parents, and they’re the people who gave me life, so why would it matter to Lochlyn?

“I was. You would, too. She’s worth it, and you know it.”

“You guys didn’t, like, get a quickie in or something first?” It’s definitely what I would have done if the situation was reversed. But Shay isn’t like me, and while Lochlyn doesn’t seem to be the manwhore I thought he was, I wouldn’t put it past him to try.

“Christ, Chelsea, what the hell kind of question is that? No, we didn’t. We came in, laid down, and she fell asleep.” He touches his chin to his chest so he can look at her. And the way he does is like an angel sent from heaven is asleep on his chest.

“It really is more than just sex. Ew, sorry, that’s weird for me to think about.”

“I don’t care. And yes, it is. Much more.” Hm. Much more. I wonder what he means by that. Obviously he loves her, but is that much more? I honestly wouldn’t know, because I’m fairly certain I’ve never really been in love before.

“It’s just…it’s weird, seeing you guys like that. Like you can just touch her anywhere.” My gaze zeroes in on the hand in Shay’s back pocket. It seems like a bit much, and it’s a lot for my mind to go through. In less than a year, I’ve learned that my best friend has gone from not kissing a boy to losing her virginity and clearly having a lot of sex. With my brother. Who I’m just figuring out isn’t who I thought he was.

It’s enough to make anybody’s head spin.

“Okay, Chelsea, I’m going to say this one more time. Are you listening? I. Don’t. Care. I don’t care if it’s uncomfortable or weird for you. And I’m going to make damn sure she doesn’t either. And Icantouch her anywhere because she’s given me that permission.”

“So, you love her? Likereallylove her?” He’s said it, he’s showing it right now, but part of me needs to be sure.

“Fuck. Chelsea. Did you even listen when we talked? You spat it all back at her, but did you listen? Did you absorb any of it?” The exasperated tone in his voice tells me he’s trying to keep his cool with me. It’s something I’ve become quite accustomed to with him.

“I don’t know, I guess, maybe I just thought you were saying what you thought you needed to. To convince me so I said it was okay or something. And honestly, I was just tired of seeing her so upset.” A million thoughts have crossed my mind about all of this. And that one has stuck, because it’s the only one that makes sense with what I’ve known to be true for years.

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