Page 92 of Off Limits

“Chelsea, I’m—" I start quietly, not really sure where I’m going with my thought, but knowing I need to saysomething.

“You need to choose,” she interrupts me.

The wind is knocked from my lungs, forcing me backward a step. “What? I—What?”

“You need to choose. Me or him.”

“Chelsea, cut the crap. You can’t make her choose between us.”

She turns on him. “I can’t be friends with somebody fucking my brother.”

He glowers at her in response. “I won’t let you do this.”

Unfortunately, she takes it as a challenge, turning to me, shoulders squared and standing taller than before. “Here’s the deal, Shay. I can’t force you two to break up. But I also don’t have to keep talking to you. It’s him or me.”

Without giving me a chance to say anything, she turns on her heel and walks out of my room, Lochlyn calling her name after her from where he stands.

When we hear the front door slam, he puts his hands on the back of my desk chair, anger plastered across his face. His whole body is tight, jaw clenched. A few books fall from the hutch as he slams the chair into the desk.

“Loch.” I can’t get my voice to be above a whisper.

He turns, his face changing to concern as he notices I’m trembling. He makes it to me in two strides, wrapping his arms around me in just enough time to catch me as my knees give out.

Choose.How do I choose? How has this become my life? The only thing I’ve ever done for myself and it’s blown up in my face.

I can’t help but wonder if we’d been honest with Chelsea from the beginning, if things might’ve been different. Or maybe Lochlyn and I would have just continued to deny our happiness and wouldn’t have had all these months together, which were by far the best months of my life.

Lochlyn comes over every day. He spends hours at my house, spends the night with me. At no point does he try to convince me to choose him; he doesn’t even talk about it. But he knows there’s a battle raging in my head. Quietly he holds me, lets me cry, just spends time with me.

I don’t know if he thinks it’s goodbye and wants to be with me as much as possible or if he’s trying to comfort me, thinking I’m saying goodbye to Chelsea.

Three days later, and I still have no idea. I don’t want to choose, but I don’t see any way out.

“What’s wrong, baby girl?”

“What’s wrong? Are you really asking me that?” There’s an irritation in my voice that I don’t want to be using on Lochlyn, but I can’t help it. It’s not his fault.

“I mean, what specifically are you thinking about.”

“I’m mad. I’m really fucking mad.”

“At me?”

“No, God, no. None of this is your fault.” We’re lying in my bed as I twist my fingers into his shirt. I can’t meet his eye. “I can’t believe she did this. I can’t believe she’s serious.”

We’ve both tried to talk to her. She barely looks at me, let alone talks to me. Lochlyn says it’s not much better at home, when she’s there, which he says she hasn’t been. Though he hasn’t really been either. They’re either passing ships or both gone. It’s hard to know.

“I can’t even find her to try to talk to her. She knows exactly what she did, what she’s doing.” His voice is low, but anger seeps through.

“Why is she so against this? Does she hate us that much?”

“Me, maybe. Not you. As far as she’s concerned, I’m a horrible evil monster and you’re an angel sent from heaven. She’s right about that one, though.” I know he’s just trying to make me feel better, and if the situation were any different, I’m sure his words would set off a reaction in my heart, but right now, I’m lucky it’s even beating since I’m sure it senses the impending doom and breakage.

“I’m no angel, Lochlyn.”

“Either way, I’ll never understand her motives. It’s cruel. What is she hoping to gain from this? She really can’t see us all just being together? It’s not really that different than it used to be, except we touch and come home and have crazy wild sex.” Though I’m still not looking at more than his clothed chest, I know there’s a smirk on his face.

He’s trying to make light of the situation, but I don’t laugh. I can’t.

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