Page 86 of Off Limits

“I need to keep an eye on Chelsea.”

I pull back, my voice solid. “Chelsea’s a big girl, Loch. She can take care of herself. She’s just with her boyfriend.”

“Who may try to take advantage of her when she’s drunk.”

“Okay, humor me. Let’s, for a second, say I actually drank. If I was that drunk, and invited you back to my house, and wanted to have sex, would you consider it taking advantage of me? I can tell you I wouldn’t in the morning. Because you’re my boyfriend and I want to be with you, drunk or not.”

“I see what you’re saying. I’m her big brother. That protection doesn’t go away.”

“I know, but you need to loosen up a bit. You’re not here all year. She’ll be in college in a few months with a dorm room that I hope to rarely be frequenting. You can’t protect her forever. Besides, wouldn’t you rather be with me tonight than babysitting her?”

His eyes flip up to mine. “You’re right. Let’s go.”

An hour later, we’re lying in my bed, Lochlyn in just a pair of boxers while I wear a t-shirt of his that I’d stolen, making out, his hands exploring my body, when he pulls away.

“What’s wrong?” We’d decided having sex is too risky, that kissing would have to do, and my lips feel plump and bruised in the most glorious way.

“I just...I’m sorry.”

Confusion spreads through my mind and face. “For what?”

“I didn’t mean to scare you earlier.”

“Scare me?” What on earth is he talking about?

“In the woods? Against the tree? I was a little…aggressive.”

“I know you’d never hurt me, Lochlyn. I wasn’t scared.”

His eyes flip up to mine. “You weren’t?”

With pinched lips, I shake my head. Should I tell him it kind of turned me on? “I mean, it wasn’t exactly your best moment, but I like when you take the initiative, are dominant.”

A smirk pulls at his mouth. “So, some part of you liked it? Maybe a little?”

I laugh, very lightly. “Maybe just a little. Listen, I’m not saying, like, choke me or anything but, I don’t know, it wasn’t the worst thing. Mixed with your mood, though, a little too much. While I wasn’t scared, I’m not interested in you being in a shitty mood all day and then throwing me up against a tree with your hand around my throat while you tell me that you could take any girl and go fuck her while I watch you walk away.”

He winces at the crassness of the statement and my tone. “Yeah. I’m not proud of that. It wasn’t the drinking though, Shay. It’s that I’m just so tired, so frustrated. They’re my friends and I can’t tell them about you. I can’t let them know how happy I am with you.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t go to more parties, and stay away from alcohol.”

“Everything just got to be too much today, and the alcohol lowered my ability to tamp it down.” He swoops some hair behind my ear, leaving his hand cupping my jaw. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s really not. Not even a little bit. But I appreciate you saying that. I need you to understand, though, there is nobody else. I would never do…that. Shay, I couldn’t imagine hurting you at all, mentally, and, God, physically doesn’t even register because it’s the furthest thing from reality. And if for any reason I ever slipped up and made a mistake that hurt your heart, it still wouldn’t be cheating. I have no thoughts about others, no regrets. Not a single one. I can’t control the actions of others. I can’t change what people have said about me or think they know about me. I just feel like you still don’t trust me.”

I’m quiet for a minute, thinking of the best way to answer. “It’s hard for me. I see eyes turning to you everywhere. At parties, when I visited on your birthday, at the concert, anywhere in public. And I’m so inexperienced. What if you get bored?”

“Bored? Shay, this isn’t like a vacation or something. I’m not trying to change my 'wild ways' and just seeing how it goes. I am in love with you, wholly and completely.”

“But you’ve never had a girlfriend before. What if you realize it’s not for you?”

The bed shakes as he jerks back. “Who said I’ve never had a girlfriend?”

My finger twirls anxiously on his chest. “Chelsea. The rumors.”

He chuckles, low in his chest. “God, those fucking rumors. I don’t know where this shit comes from. First things first, I never slept with an entire team for any sport, not even half. And I lost my virginityto my girlfriend,who happened to be one of the players on the field hockey team. We didn’t stay together, but she was my girlfriend at the time. I maybe haven’t had many, or really any since, but I’m fully capable. When I want to. Which I do. With you.”

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