Page 83 of Off Limits

With so many girls walking around in skimpy bikinis, older and surely more experienced, I keep my gaze on Lochlyn, and he doesn’t even glance at a single one. His eyes stay trained on the bottles of liquor behind the bar or me.

Out of my peripheral vision, I see a tall, skinny blonde in a red bikini walking toward the bar, making a beeline for Lochlyn. Before I can blink, she’s standing between his legs, a finger tracing down his thigh. With bated breath, I watch the exchange. His eyes stay fixed on hers, gently pushing her hand off his thigh.

But blondie doesn’t get it and tries again, trailing her finger along his shoulder, getting closer. This time he’s more forceful, his hands on her upper arms as he pushes her away. She throws a hand up and walks away, looking upset.

I’m on my feet before I realize what I’m doing. Sliding into the barstool next to him, I turn so my legs are between his. Though he isn’t looking at me, his legs inch closer to mine so we’re touching. With my elbow propped on the bar, I lean my cheek against my fist, my other hand resting on my knee. He still hasn’t looked at me, but rests his hand on his thigh, fingertips grazing mine.

“I don’t know that I can ever be okay with that. I worry about what it’s like when you’re at school.”

When he turns to me, I shrink under the intensity of his gaze. There’s something there I haven’t seen before; it steals the air from my lungs as my heart plummets to the ground.

He’s on his feet in a second, grabbing my hand and pulling me to the back of the yard, through a gate that leads to the woods behind the house. When we’ve walked a few feet into the trees, he spins me around, then pushes me against a wide trunk, hand at my throat, mouth forceful on mine. For some reason, it makes me want to tear my clothes off, and a whimper rises in my chest.

As he pulls away, he lowers his hand to rest firmly against my chest. His breath is warm against my cheek. “I want you to listen to me, right now, and very carefully. I want you, and only you. I didn’t turn that girl down for your benefit because you’re watching me. I turned her down because I don’t want her. I turn them all down because I don’t want them. I want you. End of story. Understand?”

I try to move away from the tree, but Lochlyn pushes against my chest, pinning me to it. In the seven months we’ve been together, he’s never been aggressive with me. Fire rips through his eyes.

I glare up at him. “You’re mean when you drink.” Red hot blood courses through my veins.

“I’m not being mean, Shay. I’m frustrated my girlfriend doesn’t know or understand how much I love her and that other girls are just annoyances, not temptations. That I have to explain this to youagain.”His mouth is suddenly at my ear. “If I wanted to be mean, I’d let you watch me take them around the corner where you’d know exactly what I was doing with them. But I have no interest in doing that with anybody but you.”

I don’t like the side of Lochlyn that he’s showing me right now. I’m not sure what it is; he barely drank anything. His mood has been foul, but this behavior is different. I scowl at him. Now I’m not only angry, but hurt.

His mouth claims mine before I can say anything, even more forceful than before, his hand still firm against my breastbone, keeping me glued to the tree. With strong hands against his chest, I push him away. A smirk flashes across his face before his lips are against mine again, his other hand sliding to my hip.

I twist away from him. “Loch. Loch, no.”

“Come on, baby, I know you want to,” he murmurs against my neck.

I do, but not like this. “No, Loch,” I say, pushing against him again. “I don’t like this version of you.”

He runs his nose along mine before pushing against the trunk, hands on either side of my head, flipping away as his palm swipes down his face. Taking big strides to the tree next to me, he punches the bark. It’s not even hard enough to crunch the flakes off. My flinch is so minuscule, I doubt he saw it. Lochlyn doesn’t scare me, not in the slightest, but right now, he is making me anxious about the state of our relationship.

“Lochlyn, talk to me.Whatis going on with you today?”

Before I can blink or move, he spins around and is back against me, hands tight on my waist, head tilting down so his hair brushes along the top of mine. He’s making me dizzy with the back and forth.

“I hate this. I hate this so much. The hiding, the lying. I hate that there’s even an ability for other girls to come over to me because you’re not there, where you belong. I hate thatJayfelt like he could get that close to you. I wanted to jump up and punch him for even looking at you. I’m just tired of it. And I’mveryfrustrated I have to tell you, again, that I have no interest in anybody but you.” His hands tighten against my hips, thumbs digging into the bones. He’s grounding himself to me, me to him.

Guilt wraps its icy tendrils around my chest, squeezing. I did this. I brought him to his breaking point. My insecurities and unwillingness to tell Chelsea about us pushed him too far. I loop my arms around his neck, leaning on my toes to pull myself in as close as I can.

His hands rope around my waist as he nuzzles into my neck. “I love you, Shay. I love you so much. I just want to be able to be together. For all to see.”

“I know, baby. I love you too. We just need to be patient.” My fingers twist into his hair as I try to close any fiber’s worth of space that exists between us.

“I don’t like that I needed to remind you that I don’t care about other girls.”

“I’m sorry. It’s hard to watch.”

“You think it was easy for me to see the exchange between you and Jay? I know how he is with women. I know what he’s said about you. But I know you’re not interested in anybody else, especially Jay.”

“Well, that’s certainly true. I just know there’s possibly girls here you’ve…been with. And definitely girls who would like to be added to the list.”

He hangs his head against my shoulder. “It’s not fair for you to hold the things I did years ago against me. And I can’t control the thoughts or actions of others, just my response to them. My response will never be anything but rejection.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” I hesitate, not sure I really want to do what I’m about to suggest. “Maybe we should just tell her.”

“We have to eventually, right? We’ll have to figure out what we want to say. But not tonight.”

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