Page 8 of Off Limits

“Not really. I’m not super passionate about anything, I guess. I don’t know I just can’t see myself doing anything specific for the rest of my life.” She picks at the cardboard sleeve of her cup.

“It’s definitely intimidating. I mean, I know so many people who don’t either. Chelsea has no idea.”

“Really? She seems so confident and collected.” Eve turns to take in Chelsea, who’s talking excitedly with her hands, her blue eyes bright.

“Oh, she is. She’s very sure of herself. Somebody who knows what she wants and goes after it. Aside from school. Cornell was sort of pushed on both of them.”

“That’s unfortunate.”

“Her brother seems to have taken to it just fine. But Chelsea’s a little more…difficult.”

“I heard that.” Chelsea turns to look at me.

“I said it nicely. I could have said you’re a giant pain in the ass.” I bump my shoulder into hers as I tease her.

“I guess you could say I like to push back, especially against those in charge of me.”

“And set all the rules.”

“Oh, well, of course.” We all burst into fits of laughter.

A quick glance at my phone and I jump to stand. “I hate to break this up, but I have to get to the store. Chels, are you coming by today?”

“No, I’m going to go meet Brendan.”

“Okay. Tell him I said hi. Rachel, Eve, it was really nice to talk to you guys. We should get together again soon.” Chelsea swears up and down she’s my only friend, but I’ve had a few outside of her that I mostly only saw when she was otherwise occupied. It didn’t make me the greatest friend, but they understood. They’ve all gone away to college in other states, so I don’t hear from them anymore. Making new friends would be nice, and Eve definitely seems like somebody I could become close with.

“Mom, when was the last time you were home for dinner?” As usual, we’re having a strained conversation in the office at the store.

“What are you talking about? I was home last night.”

“Yeah, at like ten. That’s not dinnertime.”

“I have a lot to do here.” Her tone is clipped and her lips press together, a sure sign she’s lying, and knows it.

“You have wonderful employees and a great assistant manager. I think it’d be okay for you to leave and have dinner with me once in a while.” My tone is bordering on angry, and acid rises in my stomach, though it’s all pointless.

“Oh, but you’re almost nineteen. You don’t want to have dinner with your poor old mom.”

“Actually, Iwouldlike to have dinner with you. We haven’t had dinner together since my graduation. And it’d been months before that.”

“It has not been that long, Shay. Stop being so dramatic.” Part of me wants to tell herexactlyhow long it’s been, that before my graduation it had been several months. But at the same time, I can’t bring myself to call her out, to even risk bringing her more pain, shoving my own aside.

“Mom, you can’t even look at me.” Her eyes haven’t left the book in front of her. It’s a new catalog from one of our vendors, but there can only be so many new things she’s looking at. Surely nothing that takes this much focus.

“What are you talking about? Of course I look at you. I’m just very focused on what I have in front of me right now.”

I sigh, defeated and hurt. So much for getting used to it. “Okay, Mom. Should I leave?”

“Oh, honey, you’re welcome to stay. How’s school?” With a quick lick of her finger, she flips the page, but still keeps her face down.

Shock. I feel shock. Mom hasn’t asked anything about me in over a year. “Um, school’s good.”

“Are you liking the college?”

“Yeah, it’s not bad.”

“Ever think of staying another year?” The way she asks is so nonchalant it takes me a moment to realize she’s incredibly serious.

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