Page 65 of Off Limits

“I mean, yeah, I’d for sure be panicked. But mad? No.”

“Okay. Good to know.”

I rise and fall with his chest. “I’m not really explaining myself well. I guess I’m just trying to say that I don’t want you to be scared to come to me. Chelsea didn’t tell Brendan at first, and she spent five days worrying alone. I don’t want that to be you if it ever comes to that.”

“You want to worry with me?”

My body shakes as he laughs. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

“I appreciate that. But I’m not scared to talk to you about anything, so it wouldn’t be an issue.” We haven’t ever really talked about kids before. It’s never really seemed like a good time or something worth bringing up since we haven’t been dating for terribly long. “So, does that mean you want kids?”

Frozen. He has completely frozen beneath me. I’m not entirely sure he’s even breathing. “This conversation took a turn I wasn’t expecting.”

“I just mean we haven’t talked about it. Like you said, we’re young still. I just, I don’t know, maybe it doesn’t matter.” Maybe I got ahead of myself thinking he loves me enough to see that far into the future, or to discuss it with me.

“Yeah, yeah, someday, I want kids.” He tightens his hold on me as he says it.

“Me too. Someday.” Some far away day when I’ve graduated from college. That’s my priority. And hopefully starting my career. Kids can come after that.

“Sorry, that conversation got a little…weird.”

“No, no, it’s good to know. I appreciate that you’d want to be there for me. I feel bad Chelsea was alone, that she didn’t feel like she could come to me. And worse that she didn’t feel like she could go to Brendan.”

Every muscle in Lochlyn’s body tightens. “Don’t remind me. I don’t understand what she’s doing with him if she can’t talk to him about something like that.”

“I don’t think he’s permanent. He’s just fun until we leave in the fall.”

“One can only hope.”

“So, do you think we need to set an alarm? I don’t want her to come bursting in and we’re like snuggled up or something.”

“I’ll risk it.” He has his eyes closed and his sleepy voice. Who am I to argue? Squeezing into him, I let sleep consume me.

Saying goodbye doesn’t get any easier. Lochlyn says it should only be a few weeks until the concert, but it feels like an eternity.

“We’re in the home stretch, baby girl.” He says it with his forehead pressed against mine as he wipes the tears from my eyes the day he leaves.

“Concert. Find out the details, let me know immediately.”

“I promise.”

“Can I just come with you?” Very wishful thinking on my part. If things had gone according to plan, Iwouldbe going with him.

“Sure. Pack a bag. Let’s go.” His shoulder hikes up and then he waves his arm toward the door as he speaks.

“I wish you were being serious.”

“I am.”

I jerk back. “I can’t go with you, Lochlyn.”

“Why not?”

“Because I have school. And the store. Chelsea, my mom.” The weight of responsibility makes my shoulders slump.

“I know. I just wish you could too.”

“For a minute, I thought you’d lost your mind.”

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