Page 56 of Off Limits

I sit up so I can look at him. He needs to be able to read my face as I say this. “No. No, you’ve been nothing short of amazing.”

He pushes himself up to sit in front of me. “Then why? What is it?”

“Because I’m replaceable! Forgettable!” The words tumble out before I realize that's exactly what I've been feeling.

“How could you think that?” His voice is low but pained, which matches the look on his face.

“Look at my life! My own family has forgotten about me. My sister, mymother. My own mother, the woman who gave me life, barely even looks at me. And she hasn’t for over a year. At first, I understood, it made sense, she was hurt, struggling. I have a lot of my dad’s features, so I’m sure I remind her of him. But it’s been over a year, and when we talk, it’s only about the store. She still won’t look at me. I could not even let her know that I’m going to be here for tonight or a few days or however long you want me to stay, and I doubt she’ll even notice I’m gone.

“My sister left and never looked back. I haven’t even heard a word from her since the funeral. Not once. Not even a happy birthday. She didn’t check in on the anniversary. She’s my fucking sister, and she’s acting like she’s the only one who lost somebody.

“And Chelsea. I love her, I do, but she gets a new boy and I go to the back burner. It’s convenient that I’m around when said boy is unavailable, but I’m not the focus, the priority. I feel like for the right boy, it’d be the same thing as anybody else.” The words gush out of me faster than I can process what they are and what I’ve been feeling, which is a lot of sadness based on the look on Lochlyn’s face.

I take a deep breath, fighting back the tears. “I’m worried it’s going to be the same for you someday.” My gaze is anywhere but at Lochlyn, mostly down at the bed. I hadn’t realized I was wringing my hands until he takes them in one of his, the other tilting my chin to look at him, swiping the tears that I didn’t even realize were streaming down my face.

Before he says anything, he leans in and kisses me tenderly, pressing his forehead against mine. “I could never, ever, replace you or forget about you.”

I choke out a sob as he lies back on the bed, bringing me down with him. He holds my hand in his against his chest, just under his chin. While I think I may be hysterical until I pass out, I’m not.

Instead, I let the steadiness of Lochlyn’s breathing, the beating of his heart, the feel of his fingers on my skin calm me. Releasing my hand from his, I start running my fingertips along his new tattoo, the hawk. I lean on my chin against his chest and look at the tattoo on his finger, tracing along the infinity over and over.

“Why a hawk?” I know what he told Chelsea. I’m curious if it’s true.

“Did you know that Shay means hawk in Irish?” My breath halts, my whole body stilling.

“And…and this one?” My finger, being the only thing that can move, traces along the symbol on his finger.

“It’s a tribal infinity symbol.”

“With an S.”

“Yes. With an S.”

“You really love me, don’t you?”

“Yeah, Shay, Ireallyfucking love you. You are completely unforgettable and irreplaceable to me. I understand you have some shit that makes you feel that way. I haven’t come out completely unscathed either. But you areeverythingto me.”

His words, his tone, they’re my undoing. I don’t cry, no, my undoing is physical. I slide my body up to lie over him, my mouth closing on his. He doesn’t hesitate for a second as one hand reaches into my hair, the other wrapping tightly around my waist, his tongue slipping across mine.

He flips me to my back like it’s nothing as we tear at our clothing. Climbing back over me after removing both of our pants, he slides his tongue along my leg, stopping at my breast, mouth closing over my nipple. I arch toward him as he pushes two fingers inside me, and mine twist into his hair.

“Loch.” I sigh as his fingers and tongue move in sync.

Groaning against my chest, he releases my nipple, replacing his fingers, easing into me. A moan catches in my throat as my fingers tighten into his back.

“Fuck,” Lochlyn groans, head against my clavicle.

His mouth crashes on mine as he starts moving inside me. Six weeks is way too long to go without feeling him.

Everything around me starts to disappear. Any worries, fears, concerns, they all fall away. It’s just me and Lochlyn, together in this moment.

As I lie with Lochlyn, head on his chest while his fingers graze up and down my back, I still don’t feel right.

Flipping to my stomach, turning my head to look at him, I speak quietly, “I’m sorry.”

He smiles gently, tracing one finger along my cheek and wrapping some hair around it. “Nobody said relationships are easy.”

“Is that why you haven’t had one in a long time?” What the hell is wrong with me? We’re finally somewhat back to normal, or at least on the path, and I’m still saying stupid nonsense.

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