Page 50 of Off Limits

“I know. I wish you were more excited.”

“Stop. Don’t make fun of me,” I whine as I outwardly pout.

“I’m sorry, I’m not. It’s cute that you’re so excited.” It’s clear he’s smiling from his intonation.

“Are you not excited?” I work my lip between my teeth.

“Oh no, I’m plenty excited.”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” I grumble.

“I’m sorry it doesn't sound like it, but trust me, I’m counting down the hours to hold you again.”

It feels like I have a balloon filling in my chest. Then I hear clicks in the background.Pop.

“You’re typing.” The clicking stops.

“No.” It almost sounds more like a question, and he’s not at all convincing.

“You were. You were typing.” We have a strict “no school work or outside conversation” rule during our phone calls. And that agitation is not left out of my tone.

“I’m sorry, I was talking to somebody about my econ midterm.”

“They’reallecon midterms.”

The sound of his exhale fills my ear. “I’m sorry.”

“You owe me extra time.”

“I can agree to those terms.”

“So, somebody…" I can’t quite ask the question on my tongue. Does this somebody have breasts?

“It’s not a girl, Shay. And even if it was, it doesn’t mean I’m going to invite her over and have crazy, wild sex with her.” His voice is clipped and tight. He’s frustrated with me.

“Okay.” I can’t get my voice to be level, and it raises at the end with unsaid disbelief.

“Shay. It’s you, and only you. There is nobody else, there are no thoughts or considerations of anybody else.”

“Six weeks is a long time.”

“You’re right, it is. Do you really think so little of me that you think in six weeks I’m going to be so sex hungry that I’d cheat on you?” Anger and disgust drip from his words and anxiety bubbles in my stomach.

“What? No, I don’t—"

“Look, I think I should go. I’ll…I’ll give you extra time tomorrow. I’m stressed, I have a midterm in the morning. I don’t want to fight.”

“Oh. Okay.” We haven’t had many fights in the few months we’ve been dating. Mostly just simple disagreements or arguments. And he’s never jumped off the phone. Everything inside me feels like it’s twisting.

“I love you, Shay.”

“I love you too.”

“I just—" I’m about to hang up when I hear him talking again.

“What? You just what?”

“I just wish you understood. Trusted my feelings.”

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