Page 49 of Off Limits

“So, I didn’t hear any stories about girls.” I haven’t broached the subject with Lochlyn. I’m not sure he’d actually tell me the truth. He tries to spare my feelings with anything he thinks may upset me. But I knew he had a lot more experience than I did when we got into everything.

Wes’s eyes flash to Lochlyn’s, which I’m sure are very strictly sayingno way in hell, but Wes turns back to me. “Honestly? He can have any girl he wants. Like, literally any girl.”

“Yes, we ran into Leslie today.”

“Oh, well, she’s a little cuckoo. But I’ve known Loch for over two years now. One thing I can say for certain is that he hasnevertalked about a girl the way he talks about you. Not even close. He’s never brought a girl back to this apartment.” That means he hadn’t slept with anybody since a few months before he kissed me.

“And before that?”

“Let’s just say it’s been a while. A long while. And that he talked about you before you got together.”

I hear Lochlyn sigh behind me. I’m not sure if he’s upset because Wes is lying, which by looking at him, I don’t think he is, or if it’s because Wes has divulged information Lochlyn wanted to keep hidden. He’s already told me he’s wanted to be with me for years. But Wes made it known that he talked about me, thought about me. He insinuated that Lochlyn hadn’t slept with other girls because of me.

Leaning back over my boyfriend's chest, I pull his hand from his eyes. His jaw is clenched. I adjust myself on the couch so I can sit with my head against his shoulder, my legs thrown over his.

After I sit curled into him for a minute or two, he sighs again and puts his arms around me, fingers lacing together at my waist as he kisses my forehead. I dip my fingertip under the collar of his shirt and run it back and forth across his warm skin.

“You guys are cute together. So, how is this working? You sneak around, right?”

I try to turn around to talk to Wes, but Lochlyn won’t let me, tightening his arms around me.

“Yeah, it’s not a great situation to be in. We basically just see each other when Chelsea’s otherwise occupied, whether at work or with her boyfriend,” Lochlyn answers for me.

“That sounds…tricky.”

“It is. And I don’t exactly like lying to my sister. Shay’s lying to her best friend, but it’s worth it. To me, at least.” I'm happy he leaves out the part about wanting to tell Chelsea and that I’ve repeatedly and emphatically said no. There’s enough blame that I place on myself for that one and how it affects Lochlyn.

I tilt my head up to look at him. “Me too.” As much as I hate lying to Chelsea, having to hide to be together, being with Lochlyn is worth it. Every lie, every secret meeting, it’s all worth it.

Chapter 10

Onlytwoweekshadseparated the times Lochlyn and I were away from each other after New Year’s. Two weeks after he went back until my birthday, two weeks until his. Yet after that, we have a longer wait. The time between his birthday and the break in March is an excruciatingly long six weeks.

I cry more than once on the phone about how much I miss him, hearing his strained voice as he tries to tell me it’ll be okay, that he loves me, that it isn’t as long as it seems. Every day feels both better and worse. We’re one day closer, but the feeling of him being gone is more and more real as each day wears on.

“What’s wrong with you? You’ve been in such an awful mood lately,” Chelsea asks me one day after class.

“Huh? Oh, nothing.” I barely hear her over my own thoughts.

“Did something happen with you and John?”

“No, we’re fine.” I’ve gotten so used to her saying John, that I don’t hesitate anymore. For a little while, it was awkward when she’d ask after him and I’d respond with a blank stare.

“I know it’s been hard since he transferred.” I had told Chelsea yet another lie, saying that John transferred to a different school at the start of the semester. She gave me a little bit of a hard time that I hadn’t mentioned him earlier, but thankfully, let it go quickly.

“Yeah, you could say that. I miss him.” Hiding behind the guise of John allows me to share feelings, like longing.

“He’ll be home soon, though, right? Only two or so more weeks.” My heart flutters as the date Lochlyn will be home grows ever closer. But it also aches.

“Yeah, something like that. I don’t like to think about it.”

“You’re so strung out on him! I can’t even believe it.”

Strung outbarely covers it. I love Lochlyn more than I ever thought possible. And in only a few months.

“I’m just excited I’ll be able to see him again soon.” See him, touch him, kiss him, feel him. It’s all the same.

Over a week later, I’m gushing on the phone as I bounce on the edge of my bed. “You’ll be home in three days!”

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