Page 38 of Off Limits

“Up to Ithaca. Cornell’s doing something for accepted students. I know I’ve seen the campus and stuff, but it was a long time ago, and I just want to refresh my memory before the fall.” Lies, so many lies. They come way too easily, and with each one, I feel less and less guilty.

“Oh, that sounds nice. Do you need a hotel room?”

“No, they have some type of housing. Or Lochlyn offered me his couch.”

“And you’re comfortable to drive yourself up there? Why don’t you bring Chelsea with you?”

“No!” I tense at her suggestion, but force a breath to calm myself. “Uh, no, that’s okay. She’s going to be with her boyfriend. I think she said he has to work on Valentine’s Day. I’ll be fine. It’s good for me to practice the drive now anyway.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

“Yeah, I am. I’d really like to go.” Eagerness brings me to my toes and I bounce a few times before lowering to flat feet. While she could say no, it doesn’t really cross my mind and I’m not sure she’d have a leg to stand on.

“Alright then. Let me know if you need anything for the trip.”

“I will.”

“I’m going to head back out to the floor now, if that’s okay?”

“Sure, Mom.” As she walks away from me, I realize I can’t remember the last time I saw my mom at home. I know she’s there, know she sleeps there at night, but I can’t place when I last physicallysawher in the house.

I knew the conversation with Mom would be easy. I’m not as confident about the one I have to have with Chelsea. She has a way of seeing through me. I feel like I’ve been lucky so far that she hasn’t figured anything out. Her time is so prioritized with Brendan; I thank my lucky stars for him and his presence in her life, especially because it takes her attention from me.

We’re studying in my room, which really means I’m studying and Chelsea’s on her phone, a few days before I leave.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I’m going to be gone this weekend.” I try to sound nonchalant, glancing sideways at her without lifting my face from the book.

“You’re what? We’re never apart! Where are you going?” Never being apart is a bit of a stretch, since we’ve spent many a weekend not together and she’s always with Brendan these days, but I understand why she’s being dramatic in this moment.

“John wants to take me somewhere for Valentine’s Day.”

“John? The same John that I’ve never met?” I don’t need to look at her to know her arms are crossed against her chest.

“The very same.”

“How are you going to let him take you away for the weekend when I haven’t even met him yet?”

“Because you don’t need to meet him for me to like him or go away with him.” I finally pull my eyes from the book to look at her.

“If he’s taking you away, you know what that means, right?” Her eyebrows dance across her forehead.

I play dumb. “No, what does it mean?”

“That he wants to have sex! Oh, Shay, might my pretty little virgin finally be deflowered?”

My cheeks burn before I have a chance to knock it down.

“OHMYGOD, it’s already happened! Why didn’t you tell me? How was it? When? Where? Tell me everything.” She throws her phone down and hops closer to me on the bed, eyes wide and eager.

Damn my body’s quick response to blush! It’s going to be very uncomfortable to tell her the details while knowing it all happened with her brother and not imaginary John. But I know I’m not going to be able to get away with not telling her at least something. When Chelsea wants something, she’s like a dog with a bone. I’ll never get her off my back if I don’t tell her now.

I take a deep breath to prepare myself. “Well, it was around New Year’s and—"

“New Year’s and you didn’t fucking tell me? It’s been over a month, Shay!”

“Do you want to hear or not?” I straighten up to look at her.

“Okay, okay, I’ll be quiet.” She points her finger at me. “You still should have told me.”

---