Page 23 of Off Limits

“Love you too, sis!” he calls after her. When he turns back to me, there’s a potent hunger in his eyes. And it’s all for me. He walks over to me, putting an arm around my waist and yanking me against him. “I’m going to make us some breakfast, and then I’m going to be taking my clothes back.”

Chapter 6

LochlynandIfinda way to have alone time every day in the two weeks he has left at home. I have no idea what will happen when he leaves, but I don’t care. We can’t get enough of each other.Ican’t get enough ofhim.

I let him bend and twist me any way he wants, leaving it to him and his…expertise. I’m never disappointed. He knows all the right places and ways to touch me to make me scream.

Chest down, ass up—per instructions—quickly became a favorite. Especially when I heard “Fuck, Shay,” as he sank into me. I love the huskiness in his voice when he likes something.

We spend our time together in secrecy. Reading, watching TV, just being together. By the end of the day, we always end up in bed.

Our spending time together won’t raise any flags. While before it wasn’t usually just the two of us, it would be easy enough to write off. But we want to touch each other constantly. We can’t hold hands in front of other people. And when we’re together, we can’t keep our hands off each other. When Chelsea’s around, it practically hurts because I can’t be as close to him as I want to be.

Two days before Lochlyn has to leave, we’re lying in my bed, his arm around me drawing tiny circles on my lower back as I lie across his chest. Worry starts to weigh me down, filling my chest like a lead balloon. What happens in two days? Is it the end? We’ll be on the same campus next year. Will it be a break until then?

“What’s in your head, baby girl?”

I turn to face him, resting my cheek on his chest. His eyes are closed.

He opens them a slit, looking at me. “What?”

“How’d you know something was bothering me?”

“I’ve known you for a long time, Shay. I’ve paid attention, picked up on a thing or two. These past two weeks have only helped.”

A frown spans my face as a sigh escapes, and I try to swallow around the lump forming in my throat as a burning settles behind my lids.

He opens his eyes completely, brushing his knuckles lovingly over my cheek. “Talk to me,” he quietly urges.

I shake my head, my sight blurry, tears threatening to break free. He grabs a pillow from next to him and shoves it behind his head, pushing himself up higher. Putting his hands under my arms, he pulls me up, holding my chin between his fingers, eyes locked on mine. “Talk.”

He swipes away the tears before I can.

“What happens when you leave?” My lip trembles as the words come out in a mere whisper.

Letting go of my chin, he pulls me against him as his chest rises and falls with a deep breath. “It’s going to be really hard. I’m going to miss you, a lot.”

“But are you…are we…" I don’t know how to ask what’s gnawing at my mind. Yet, somehow, he knows.

“I’m with you, Shay. Not just right here, right now. Not just this break. I’m with you. My leaving won’t change that.” The words I’ve wanted to hear for so long, yet they don't bring me the comfort they should.

“What about all the pretty college girls?” Surely there are several who throw themselves at him, who are far prettier than I am. For all I know, he's been talking with a few. Though he told me he was single, that doesn't mean there isn't somebody back at Cornell awaiting his return.

He takes my chin in his hand again, pressing a tiny kiss on my lower lip, and meeting my eyes. “They pale in comparison to you.”

He holds me against him as I cry. At no point does he try to tell me it’ll be okay, or try to talk me out of crying. He just holds me, kissing my head every so often, running his hand down my hair, knowing that at this moment, I just need to let it out and that his words would fall on deaf ears.

The last day he’s home, he tells his family—parents having returned on the first—he’ll be gone until dinner, wanting to see some friends. But he’s coming over to spend the day with me.

It’s the one time I’m thankful Mom has thrown herself into the store. She doesn’t worry about me being alone. Not only is she too self-consumed in grief, but I’m the good daughter. The one who follows the rules. I ask permission instead of forgiveness.

I’ve never done anything that would make anybody unhappy with me or would make them disappointed in me. Except being with Lochlyn. And that I do for myself and my happiness.

Before he’s even shut the door or had a chance to take off his coat, I’m pulling him against me. There’s not a single second to waste.

Gently placing his hand on my shoulders, he pushes me back, brushing my cheek with his thumb. “Hey, slow down. We have time. This isn’t goodbye, Shay.”

I lean into his palm, biting the inside of my lip, as my foot tilts on its side. “It feels like it.”

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