Page 14 of Off Limits

Never having kissed somebody before, I have no idea if I’m doing it the right way. But Lochlyn intensifies the kiss, the pressure of his lips stronger, the pull against my cheek firmer, as he twists his fingers into the hair at the base of my head.

I don’t know how long he kisses me—if it’s thirty seconds or ten minutes, everything else completely disappears and time all but ceases to exist. But when we separate, I’m breathless. He keeps his palm against my cheek, looking at me intently, his blue eyes sparkling like the stars above us for another minute before he moves back.

“Well, now you can at least say you’ve accomplished that. So, how’s the store?” He moves on like it’s nothing, but to me, it’s everything.

I want to melt into the floor beneath me. I want to kiss him again. And again. And again. But he’s still my best friend’s brother. He did me a favor, taking pity on the sad girl whose dad died and who hadn’t kissed a boy yet, at eighteen. Whose best friend basically just called her life pathetic. It’s not interest.

“Shay?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry. Uh, the store is good. I don’t get over there as much with classes and studying, it’s not as much time as Chelsea thinks. I don’t know, it’s just hard. That’s basically the only time I see my mom. She’s home so late, partially because she extended the hours. It's almost like she lives there.

“Essentially, nothing’s changed. I still don’t see her, still haven't heard a single word from Logan.” I look over at him and see concern on his face. “I don’t know why I’m complaining to you. At least my mom is here, if I really need her. Your parents started leaving years ago.”

“Yeah, that was pretty rough. Especially because I was basically in charge of Chelsea too. Not exactly easy.”

“No, it's not.” A series of difficult moments due to Chelsea flash through my mind as I recall all the ways she gave Lochlyn a hard time over the years. He deserves some sort of award for all the things he’s had to put up with and handle. It’s not so much that Chelsea did anything more than a typical rebellious teenager, the issue is that Lochlyn is obviouslynother parent, and therefore, not the one who should have been having to deal with it.

“I feel bad for Chels now, though, being on her own.” There’s a tinge of guilt, both hanging from his words and on his face. But none of this is his fault.

“I don’t know. I mean, she’s not really on her own.”

“You’re right, she has you.”

“And Brendan.”

He puts his head in his hand. “Ugh, don’t remind me.”

A smile breaks across my face. “He’s a nice guy, Loch. Really.”

“It doesn’t mean I have to like him. She’s my baby sister.”

“Don’t worry, I’m watching out for her.”

“I know you are. But Shay, who’s watching out for you?”

I’m taken aback. It’s an interesting question. “Well, Chelsea is.”

“Come on, Shay. I love her, but she’s probably the most self-centered person I’ve ever met. I know she loves you, but is she really watching out for you? Has she ever?”

“I mean, yeah? I don’t know. She has her ways and moments. I guess I’ve always looked out for myself. Maybe that’s why I’ve never had a boyfriend. I don’t want to just flit around from boy to boy like Chels does. I don’t want to have meaningless sex.” I turn to him quick, hands outstretched in defense. “No offense.”

He rubs his fingers along his lower lip, drawing my attention to his wonderful mouth. “None taken.”

“Maybe it’s easier to watch out for myself by being alone.” It’s a sad reality, and a sad existence, but it’s the hand life dealt me.

“But if you don’t let anybody in, how are you going to find someone?” His curiosity strikes me as odd, but Lochlyn often takes the opposite side of Chelsea, and I’m sure he’s just trying to point out all aspects of the situation.

“I don’t know. I think once things calm down, maybe once I get away next year, I’ll be able to let my guard down a bit. We’ll be on the same campus, so Chelsea can be your problem again.” I bump my shoulder against his, shock waves pulsing through my body. It’s such a normal thing to happen between the two of us, yet something shifted with the kiss. Something I need to bury.

“Oh, great. Just what I need, to be responsible for Chels again.” He shakes his head, running his hand through his hair as a few pieces fall in his eyes. It’s been a while since he’s had a haircut. It’s sexy.He’s your best friend’s brother, nothing can happen. The kiss doesn’t count. It was pity.

He flicks his wrist, looking at his watch. It’s an analog watch with a leather band. Whenever Chelsea gives him a hard time about it, he says he prefers the analog, things are becoming too easy being all digital. And he’s not glued to his phone like she is. I’ve always felt like it suits him.

“It’s pretty late. Let me walk you home.”

While I can walk myself, I want his company. “Sure.” I stand, brushing at my butt, pulling my coat tighter around me, realizing how cold it truly is.

Part of how Chelsea and I had become such good friends is that our houses are only four apart. An easy walk—day or night, rain or shine.

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