Page 122 of Off Limits

“It was just a lot at once. I didn’t realize it was affecting me as much as it was until she hugged me and the floodgates opened.”

“Have you always been a crier, or do you just save it for me?” He’s teased me more than once about my crying. It all started as a joke when I went from crying to laughing one day, and he looked at me like I was crazy. I had to explain that before we were together, I rarely cried. That it has to be the comfort I feel with him that lets me feel like I can.

“Be nice or you’re sleeping alone tonight.” I push my shoulder into his.

“You’d never.” He’s right.

“Do you want to find out?”

“I’m sorry. You know I’m teasing. I like that you cry when you need to. That you feel comfortable and safe enough with me.”

I snuggle into his chest as he wraps his arms around me. Even a few months ago, it would have been a crazy thought, worried about being caught. But now, I don’t care who sees. Everybody knows we’re together, we’re happy. It’s a freeing notion.

“I love you.”

He kisses the top of my head before answering. “I love you too, baby girl.”

We decide to spend the night at Lochlyn’s. Mom looks at me with an expression I can’t quite read, but I assume is something along the lines of whether or not she should allow me to go to Lochlyn’s, knowing we’ll be having sex.

Chelsea leaves as soon as we all get back to their house, heading over to Brendan’s, and Lochlyn and I end up on the deck. He wants to spend a few minutes where it all started, one year ago. Just like the year before, he kisses me on the top step, under the stars. But instead of pulling apart and walking me home, he carries me upstairs, my legs wrapped around his waist.

Once in his room, he sets me down, closing the curtains.

“Brendan was kind enough to take Chelsea out of our hair for the night.” There’s a gravel to his tone as he walks back to me.

“Oh, so you like him now?”

He grabs me around the waist and pulls me against him. “Well, when he takes my sister out of the house so I can fuck my girlfriend wherever I want, then yeah, I guess I do.”

“Oh, really? Wherever you want, huh? Does said girlfriend have any say in this?” I trail my finger along his collarbone, playing coy.

“I suppose she does. It is our one-year anniversary, after all.” Lochlyn and I had many conversations about when our actual anniversary is, seeing as he’s never officially asked me to be his girlfriend.

We agreed on two things for sure. The time apart was a break, not abreak-up. Especially because it wasn’t something either of us wanted. We also agreed that things between us had started a long time ago.

He argued Thanksgiving was when he made the first move, kissing me after dinner. I argued that I hadn’t known it was more than pity, that it easily could have just stopped there, but after New Year’s there was a positive change. With more promises of time.

What finally convinced me was his argument of all the time we’d spent denying ourselves and culminating in Thanksgiving night with our first kiss. To me, it doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that I’m finally with Lochlyn, and allowing myself the happiness I had denied for so long.

That night, Lochlyn makes good on his word to fuck me anywhere he wants.

Chapter 24

ForChristmas,wedecideto stay in Ithaca. Mom is flying out to see Logan. They haven’t seen each other since Logan moved west after the funeral. Lochlyn and Chelsea’s parents decided they’d rather spend their Christmas on the Amalfi Coast, depositing substantial amounts of money in both their kids’ accounts as an apology.

“I guess it’s just you and me for Christmas this year.” I kind of like it. If there’s anybody I want to spend the holiday with, it’s Lochlyn.

“This year and every year after.”

It’s two days before Christmas and we’re snuggled against each other in Lochlyn’s bed, arms around each other.

“Oh yeah? Every year? Don’t think you’ll get sick of me?” While it’s mostly a joke, I do wonder if that’s a concern in his mind.

“Never.”

“I don’t know, that’s a pretty long time.”

“Eternity wouldn’t be long enough with you, Shay.” He tangles his fingers in my hair before his lips meet mine, and my mouth parts for his.

---