Page 110 of Off Limits

“Are you hungry at all?”

“Maybe a little? I don’t feel hungry, but I know I probably am. That I should eat.”

“I think you should. At least try. If you don’t want muffins, I can get something else.”

Quickly and somewhat frantically, I grab for his hands. “Muffins are fine. I don’t want you to leave.”

Pulling his hands from mine, he folds me into him, kissing the top of my head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

We eat our muffins, somewhat hard and dry, but the coffee is cold, rendering it utterly undrinkable. “Don’t worry, I’m on it.” Lochlyn pulls out his phone. Tilting toward me, he types out a message.

Lochlyn:Yo Wes. Can you bring two coffees to Shay’s? I’ll hit you back tomorrow. It’s an emergency.

Wes:No problem man. Everything ok? Didn’t hear from you last night after saying you were staying at Shay’s.

Lochlyn:Yeah, all’s good. Except the coffee situation.

Wes:On it. See you in ten.

“We’re good.”

A warm smile tilts up the corners of my mouth. “You just know how to handle everything.”

He shrugs. “What my baby wants, my baby gets.”

Ten minutes later, when there’s a knock on the door, Lochlyn untangles himself from me and grabs the coffees from Wes, keeping the door mostly closed behind him, knowing I don’t want to be seen. It makes my heart swell to see the little things Lochlyn does without me having to tell him, like shielding my puffy eyes and splotchy face from his roommate.

“Coffee crisis averted.” He holds up two large cups, his straight white teeth on full display as he walks back over to me.

“My hero.” My hands fly to my chest, and I flutter my eyelids.

“I try.”

“No, I mean it. For everything, you’ve been there. I didn’t really realize it at first, or notice the intentions behind it besides just being a good friend, but you’ve been there for me for so long. And this past year, you were strong when I wasn’t. You were willing to fight for us when I wasn’t. You were willing to give up your family for me. And then just today, and any time I’m upset. You never hesitate to fold me into you and hold me for hours. I just…thank you.”

Gently, he takes my chin in his hand, bringing my lips to his. “I love you.” He says it like it’s the only thing I ever need to know, the all-encompassing reason. Maybe it is.

“I love you too.”

We sit on my bed drinking our coffees in silence while I fiddle with the lid of my cup. His stare tingles the top of my head, but I can’t look at him. The thoughts in my mind start swirling around again, my eyes burning.

Without a word, Lochlyn takes the cup out of my hands and sets it on the desk with his, pulling me against him as he lies back down.

I snuggle into his chest, my hand sliding up his shirt to trace the lyrics on his ribs. “My dad always liked you. He saw what a great guy you are. I think he knew I liked you, maybe even that you liked me. He’d hint at it at times, but I always just shrugged it off, said we were friends. Really more that we were friends and you’re Chelsea’s brother, that nothing could happen, and sure you weren’t interested in me like that.” Lochlyn starts trailing a hand down my hair as I keep running my fingers along the words scrawled on his skin. The repetitive motion allows the tension in my muscles to ooze out of me.

“I remember a few days before they told me he was sick, we had been talking about you. It was just before he said something about how I needed to live for myself. That I needed to stop letting other people make choices for me and do whatIwanted to be happy, to make choices that would make me happy, not what would make other people happy. It took me until now to realize that he was talking about you, trying to help me link the two.

“He’d always tell me how you were kind and generous. That he could tell you took good care of the people you loved because of how often you had to take care of Chelsea when your parents were gone. When my mom freaked out about the tattoo, he said you were an adult, you handled a lot of what was thrown at you, and if you wanted to make that decision, he was sure you didn’t come to it lightly.”

Closing my eyes, I take a moment to listen to the steady rhythm of his heart, the one I’ve come to know so well.

“I guess it’s just my very long-winded way of saying that I think my dad would be happy that we’re dating. I think he knew all along we were meant to be together.”

“Your dad was a great man. I really liked him and respected him. I know he’d be happy we’re together.”

“Yeah.”

“No, Shay. Iknow.”

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