Page 102 of Off Limits

Lochlyn brushes some hair behind my ear. “You okay over there?”

I shake my head, causing him to chuckle. My eyes flutter open to find him looking at me, a smile on his face. “You’ve been holding out on me.”

“I suppose I have. I know we didn’t exactly ease into things or take it step by step, so to speak, but you still seemed a little…nervous at times.” He’s right. I can still barely say the word “sex” even though at one point we were having it daily.

Right now, I’m thinking about reciprocating the favor. I know I should at least offer. But it’s like my body is willing to do everything and anything he wants while my head and my mouth can’t quite get there. I’ve obviously touched his cock, had it inside me. But for some reason, having it in my mouth seems like a little more than I’m ready for. Which makes guilt wrack through me.

“I don’t…I don’t expect anything, in return. Not until you feel ready, if ever. I’ll never ask you for anything you’re not ready to give, never ask you to do anything you’re not ready to do.” He hesitates for a minute, eyes flashing to my lips. “I didn’t expect you to say yes that night. Part of me expected you to push me away or even slap me after I kissed you. Never, in a million years, did I think you’d say yes. But I had to ask. I had to take the chance.”

“I’m really happy you did. I never would have known otherwise.”

“Really? Not even after Thanksgiving?”

“Pfft, no. I was convinced you only kissed me because you felt pity for me. I was sitting there basically in tears about my sad, pathetic life and that I’d never kissed anybody.”

“First of all,ifI felt pity for you, I certainly wouldn’t have kissed you likethat. Or more than once. Secondly, you definitely don’t see yourself clearly, and maybe that’s from being in Chelsea’s shadow for so long. You say I turn heads when we’re out, but so do you, Shay. You’re gorgeous. I know you don’t see it, or maybe you don’t believe me, but I see the heads turn. I watch the eyes follow you. And worst of all, I heard what the guys in high school would say.” There’s a tick in his jaw as he says it.

“Guys talked about me in high school?”

He rolls his eyes. “Out of all of that, what you took away was the guys talking about you in high school? Yes, they did. And let’s just say it was not the sort of thing I’d repeat or ever want you to know about. It took a lot of strength to not beat the crap out of a few of them. Including Jay.”

My eyes widen. “Jay?” I mean, sure, he was being creepy at that party over the summer, but I figured he was just drunk.

“Oh yeah. I won’t repeat what he said, but I made it exceptionally clear that if I ever heard that he laid a finger on you, he’d live to regret it. To say he’s jealous is an understatement. There were a few guys though who I worried about. Nice guys who just thought you were gorgeous and smart and sweet, who I thought maybe you’d give a chance and date. I never said anything, but part of me got a little nervous that you’d start dating someone and I’d miss my chance.

“I know you heard at least most, if not all, of my conversation with Chelsea. I could tell you were awake. And I know I’ve told you before, but it’s worth saying again. I’m…a physical person. But if you were to say no more sex tomorrow, I’d be okay with that. It’s you that I want, mind, soul, and yeah, body too. But I want everything. There’s so much more than sex here, Shay. For me, at least.”

I turn to my side and move to be right against him, pressing my lips to his. “For me too.”

Chapter 19

Lochlynhastakenitupon himself to teach me how to cook.

“But why do I need to learn if I have you?” I whine at him.

“What if you’re hungry and I’m not here?”

“I’ll starve.”

“Exactly.”

I can’t really complain much, the lessons aren’t so bad. He stands right behind me, chest pressed against my back, arms stretched the length of mine as he teaches me hand over hand. He’s absolutely appalled that the most I can do is boil water and cook pasta, saying had he known my skills were so lacking, he would have made sure to do more with me over the summer.

On Saturday morning, Lochlyn’s giving me another lesson. We haven’t seen or spoken to Chelsea since we walked out four days ago. Weston is still giving us our space. Lochlyn’s been taking me to classes, staying on campus to wait for me if he needs to. I wait for him at the library, where he’ll find me and break my study trance by kissing my neck.

“I’m going to burn them!” My voice is slightly hysterical.

“You’re not going to burn them.” His voice is exceptionally calm.

“They’re going to be undercooked! It’s dangerous to eat undercooked eggs.” Hysteria.

“You’re not going to undercook them.” Calm.

“Well, something’s going to go wrong.” Slightly calmer.

“Shay, they’re just eggs.”

I sigh and huff some hair out of my face when Lochlyn starts kissing along my neck. It’s become a calming mechanism he uses on me when I’m spiraling. It always works.

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