Page 1 of Off Limits

Chapter 1

LochlynReynoldsistheone boy I want to date. But I can’t, because he’s my best friend’s brother.

He’s the guy I want to share my first kiss with. But I can’t, because he’s my best friend’s brother.

He’s who I want to be with. But I can’t, because he’s my best friend’s brother.

Maybe if I repeat it enough times, I’ll start to believe it. I’ll stop dreaming about his hands on me. Stop drooling over him as I watch the rivulets of water flow down his impeccably toned chest and abs as he climbs out of the pool. So far, it hasn’t worked.Nothing can happen with Lochlyn. He’s your best friend’s brother. Her very, devastatingly handsome and sexy older brother.

Already I’m on the cusp of losing my so-called resolve.

Humid July air wraps its thickness around us on this starlit night. Eyes glued to the crackling fire, Lochlyn slouches in his Adirondack chair to my right. He’s been home from Cornell for eight weeks now, and though we see each other almost daily, this is the first time we’ve been able to get time alone together. Time I cherish.

Chelsea, my best friend and his sister, left for bed hours ago. She’s never been a night owl; she’s usually ready to go to sleep by ten o’clock, but wakes up at six every morning. I’m the opposite—staying up late, then wishing to sleep all day.

We’d spent the day at their house swimming and lounging by the pool, coming back to my house for Chinese food and a fire. I expected Lochlyn to leave when Chelsea did, but he’s made no move to rise from his chair. I appreciate the company, especiallyhis.

“So, how are you? Really?” His feet almost reach the fire pit as he stretches out his six-foot-two frame. I’m acutely aware of how close his chair is to mine, so much so that I could slide my hand and touch his. But I can’t do that. Because of Chelsea. She’s been my rock for the past year, and my best friend for fifteen. Not to mention, I’m sure he doesn’t see me that way.

“I’m okay.”

He tilts his head, frowning. One thin lock of his light brown hair falls into his eyes. The sides are still cut short, but the part on top looks like it’s grown a little longer than he usually keeps it. “Shay. Come on.”

I release a low breath as I pull at a string on the hem of my shirt. My lips curl down in a way that I try to fight around everybody else. “I don’t know. Every day is different. I didn’t just lose my dad. I lost my family. I basically never see or talk to my mom anymore. If I do, it’s about the store, while at the store. We’re like passing ships in the night. And I miss her, which I hate to even admit because what eighteen-year-old misses their mom? Especially because she’s still here…she’s just nothere.”

Dad passed away a year ago come September. It was one week and four months before I turned eighteen. Lochlyn had come home from college for the funeral, staying six days instead of the one night I’d expected. He and Chelsea spent that time with me, keeping me from being alone. Lochlyn sat with me, talked to me, let me cry. Unlike Chelsea, he never tried to cheer me up or take my mind off it. He let me mourn.

Those few days he was home was when I started havingrealfeelings for him. I’d always had a crush, always appreciated how gorgeous he is. That week changed things. We’d often spent a lot of time together since he and Chelsea have always had a close sibling bond. Close enough that she told both of us when she lost her virginity at sixteen, which, in hindsight, was a mistake because he got very protective and angry.

What changed things was his gentleness with me, his overwhelming sense of calm. It certainly helped when he pulled me against him after the funeral. Lochlyn and Chelsea had me sandwiched between them on the porch swing as I bawled. When she got up to get me a water, Lochlyn had pulled me into his toned chest and held me.

Tucking one of my dark brown curls behind my ear, I continue, “I haven’t even heard from Logan in months, let alone seen her. It’s not like we were that close, but she’s my sister.”

Shaking my head, willing away the tears, I go on, “I don’t feel like I’m on a good path. I delayed Cornell. My dad had been so happy when I applied. ‘My baby going to my alma mater—nothing would make me happier.’ That’s what he’d said when I’d filled out the application. And now? I should be packing my things and leaving in a couple weeks. Instead, I’m staying here, going to community college, and working at my parents’ store. The one thing I swore I’d never do.”

“You’ll get to Cornell. It’s temporary. You’re doing it for your family.”

I scoff, slouching in my seat. “What family?” How can what we’ve become constitute as a family anymore? I spend more time blocking out the pain of losing all my blood relations in one day than I care to admit. Especially because two of them are still alive, choosing not to be available.

Filling my lungs, I speak louder. “I’m just afraid I’ll get stuck. That I’ll get stuck here, working at the store, going to community college. That’s not what I want for myself. And I’m dragging Chelsea down with me.” I’ve never admitted that to anyone, let alone myself.

The feeling of Lochlyn’s hand on mine startles me, and tingles ping through my entire body. When I turn to look at him, his blue eyes, which appear darker in the night, are fixed on me. “You’ll get out, Shay. And Chelsea made her own choice. You didn’t ask her to stay. She did that on her own.”

“Yeah, but she did it for me. And your parents were so mad.” Chelsea had delayed her acceptance to Cornell as I did. “She didn’t have to. She could have kept on the straight and narrow. But Chelsea doesn’t have a path. She zigs and zags. While she may be using you as an excuse to stay, I could have seen this happening without you. And my parents will get over it. If they wanted more say, they could be around more.” He says the last part with a bite to his tone.

But he’s right. Chelsea’s grades almost weren’t good enough to get her into Cornell. It’s just another glaring reminder of how starkly different Chelsea and Lochlyn are. Aside from their looks, Chelsea being much fairer than Lochlyn, with hair so blonde it’s almost white, Lochlyn’s exceptionally smart. He graduated top of his class in high school, in a group of over two hundred, and from what he says, is doing very well at Cornell. He studies, but not nearly as much as Chelsea needs to. Things come easier to him.

It’s just one more thing I find attractive about Lochlyn. Looking at him, you’d be sure he’s just a pretty face with those piercing blue eyes and sharp cheekbones. But his intelligence shines through in a simple conversation.

“Aside from worrying about Cornell and Chelsea, how are you? How is Shay?” I must not have given him enough since he’s pressing aboutme.It’s something he does—checking in about me specifically. Always.

How do I answer that?

“Honestly? I don’t know. I kind of feel lost. Like I don’t have direction, like I don’t know where I belong. Before my dad got sick, it was pretty clear cut. Get good grades, get into a good college, and leave. Now, though? It’s not clear at all.” I hesitate before treading further. “Sorry, I know that was more about college. I guess it’s just at the forefront of my mind.”

“It’s okay. Whatever you’re thinking, you can talk to me.”

My eyes fall to my hem, where I start picking at my shirt again. “I don’t know. My dad’s death anniversary is coming up in two months. It sounds far away, but it’s almost still surreal that he’s gone at all. I can’t explain this weird feeling.

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