Page 84 of The Layover

What? “If we’re trading secrets, I feel like you owe me another one first.” I was deflecting because I didn’t have an answer. And what was it about this bar that was making my mind open up and question everything in my heart?

Kandace chewed her bottom lip. “I’ve-never-really-lived.” Her words rushed out in a blur. “I have a son who’s almost eighteen, who isn’t even mine, and I’m this big important name in investments, but if I died tomorrow, I wouldn’t have any me memories to take to heaven with me.”

That was a sobering thought. She might agree since she waved the waitress over for another drink.

“So, do something about it,” I said. It was much easier to push my advice on someone else than to take it myself.

“Move to Milan,” Kandace countered. “You’ve been saying you want to for years, and we’ve been thinking of opening an office in Europe. You’d be great to help us start things there. What’s stopping you from going?”

A dry laugh escaped my throat. “I’m scared.” Oh, wow. That hurt to say and was a relief at the same time. I didn’t fear anything. Except storms. And commitment. And someone saying they loved me when they were really just a narcissistic asshole who would do anything to get their way, including kidnap a little girl…

She pointed at me with finger guns. “Me too.”

“We should go.” I tugged her to her feet right as the waitress returned with her drink.

Kandace reached for the glass. “But… booze.”

I handed the waitress extra money. “Give that to someone else,” I said and turned to Kandace. “Finger guns is the point where you’re too drunk to be in public.”

Kandace scowled. “I thought we were friends.”

“We are.” I wrapped an arm around her waist to support her, and guided her toward the door. “That’s why we’re leaving. Because if you’re going to embrace life, sober is better. You’ll want to remember the sex when you pick up the sexy tattooed guy for a one-night stand.”

“What if it’s bad sex?” Kandace asked.

It frequently was. But never with Raul and Diego. I swallowed the thought. “Then the best way to learn from the mistake is to remember.”

I called us a ride, and since I wasn’t actually drunk, had the driver take us to my car. I dropped Kandace off at home, then headed to my own place.

The ridiculous conversation played in my head all night, mingled with the short phone call from Diego and Raul. The one where I hung up on them. The one where I ignored their confession of love and pretended like I was a stone-cold bitch who didn’t care.

Why couldn’t I be that person?

Why was this so terrifying?

What if I moved to Milan and they didn’t want me?

What if no one since Curtis had wanted me because I wasn’t wantable?

When the last question dropped into my head, I hated it. I loathed that I could even think such a thing. Yet, the question wouldn’t leave me alone.

30

Diego

Our first restaurant, our church restoration and revival, had gone amazingly well. We were done under schedule and budget, and the building looked incredible. Tonight we were celebrating with friends and family, a sort of dry-run grand opening mixed with a way to show the place off to those closest to us.

Raul and I were dressed in tuxes, and Eloise had a new dress that she couldn’t wait to show off to everyone.

Really, it was all so close to perfect.

Except that one missing element. That one missing person.

Without Carly here, it wasn’t the same. I wouldn’t let her missing presence spoil the evening, she’d made her choice, but I missed her terribly. It was going to be a long time before the ache attached to her name faded.

Raul, Eloise, and I arrived at the restaurant early, to make sure everything was in order. He’d be spending most of the pre-dinner time in the kitchen, but would join us for the main course, and our staff would handle the rest. Nerve-wracking, but we had spent so long working toward this, and tonight was one of the payoffs.

I greeted our guests with Eloise’s hand gripped tightly in mine. It had been a month since the incident, not nearly long enough to relax.

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