Page 66 of Boss Level

“So much fun. I kept expecting it to feel wrong, but it didn’t.”

I smiled. “Then it wasn’t wrong.”

Claire leaned in, and when she crushed her lips to mine, shock spilled through me. I kissed back out of instinct, and the entire thing was sloppy and rushed. But it was also as sweet as a kiss could be.

It didn’t make my pulse race the way Xander did—and he’d never kissed me. It didn’t heat me to the core the way Dominic’s kisses did.

But a kiss like that, from her, would make someone else who wasn’t me very happy.

Claire was searching my face.

What should I tell her? It had to keep her here but also be a firmno.

She pushed to her feet abruptly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry.”

“Claire, wait.” I grabbed her wrist before she could run away, and stood as well. “I’m with someone. I’m happy with Dominic.” I felt guilty about lying.

To myself or her. I wasn’t sure.

I didn’t let the reaction show. “But I meant everything I said about you. You will find someone incredible for you.”

“Okay.” She jerked away from me. “It’s okay. I get it. I’m okay. I should let you enjoy your night.” She scurried to her room faster than a feeling cat.

I sank back into my chair, as the past and present sank back in, heavier and heavier, until they threatened to crush my soul.

22

dominic

Xander’s fervor on Tuesday night, after he got back from Haddarville, when he declared we were done hiding, was intoxicating and contagious. When he’d kissed me with that intensity, laid down the decision with expansive firmness, I couldn’t sayno.

Not that I wanted to. After the conversation with Roger, I’d been on that cusp anyway.

But since Xander’s declaration, there had been nothing. It was Thursday night, and the matter had been dropped. Vanished into the ether.

After so many years of denying it, of being the reason we hid what we were, having a solution so close made me crave it and need itnow.

By Thursday night I was done waiting for the rest of the conversation, so when Xander got home from work, I met him in the kitchen.

“We haven’t talked about this decision to come out,” I said.

“At least let a guy put his laptop down first.”

I stepped aside, gestured, then followed him into the office. I didn’t want to give him a reason to avoid this again.

He set the briefcase with his computer on his desk and paused, back to me. “What do we need to talk about? Hey, world, we’re in love. Look, it’s that easy.”

It should be. I wanted it to be. It wasn’t as though I was in the closet. But this still felt like a big deal.

“Oh, right.” Xander finally looked at me. “You’ve been telling a number of your colleagues you’re engaged. To Judith. And now you’re going to say,Just kidding. I’m queer as fuck, and this is my husband.”

Both the edge in his voice, and the reminder of Judith caught me off-guard. Of course I’d end the engagement with her. That was a given when I decided I wouldn’t work with Dale, and it should’ve been my choice much earlier, given how Xander refused to say he felt about it.

But I didn’t want that to happen. I wanted to keep her, not just with me, but with us. Xander and I were fraying at the edges and apparently I wanted to tug on one of those very obvious threads and see if it unraveled things.

“I thought we were talking.” He met my gaze with a hard stare. “I’ll agree some delicacy is needed, but is this really the kind of thing that requires a big plan?”

“No. I suppose not.”

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