Page 86 of Boss Level

“So thank you for sticking to your guns,” Wade said. “I’m going to save thewe need to part waysconversation with Oliver until after Christmas, but I won’t let him do anything before then that makes a difference.”

“I’m sorry you have to do that.” Finally, my brain was working well enough to sound intelligent. “But you’re making the right choice. And yeah, I’d be bummed too if I was in your shoes.”

“You and Judith are lucky to have each other.” Wade’s comment seemed to come out of nowhere.

Right now we didn’t have anything. “Okay?”

“You have the kind of faith in her that few people ever find, and as far as I can tell, she deserves it.”

“Thanks. See you on Monday?”

“Yeah.” Wade sounded lighter.

I was jealous of that. I wanted to feel this heavy weight lifted. But Wade was wrong about one thing—I didn’t have Judith. I’d pushed her away for so long…

The thought hurt. It ached everywhere. I needed her back, and I was already dialing her number as Dominic walked back into the room. Fuck, I needed her. I loved her. I had to tell her.

Her voicemail picked up again.

She was screening me. I had no doubt now. I wouldn’t tell her I loved her in a recording. This was something I was only saying to her face, and I’d make sure she knew how much I meant it.

And if I couldn’t have her back…

I didn’t know, but I’d never lost anything this important before, and the feeling was the worst.

30

judith

Iignored Xander’s calls on Saturday. If he thought he had some magical penis that could keep me from succeeding, I didn’t need to talk to him.

But I missed both him and Dominic. Why did Xander have to go and be an idiot about this? Why did I have to want that he could give me a good reason to forgive him?

I picked up when Cole called on Sunday morning, and it almost felt traitorous to talk to him but not Xander. Which it shouldn’t, and I was being ridiculous. Though, if he was calling to congratulate me on my bullshit engagement, I didn’t want to listen.

“I would’ve called last week, after we ran into you at dinner” he said after we exchangedhellos. “But I figured you’d be busy, and that meant you’d blow me off.”

“I would never.” I feigned hurt.

He laughed. “You would frequently. But I learned a long time ago not to resent you for that. Are you really engaged? Should my congratulations be sincere?”

It figured, the one friend I had in this world, the one person who knew me this well, was my ex-husband. Dominic probably came close, but he had a bias. Toward Xander, who I’d be having this conversation with in any other circumstance. “Are you free today? Have lunch with me?”

“Name the place, I’ll meet you there.”

“Thank you.” I didn’t want to be alone today, and Claire was sweet, but I suspected this wasn’t a situation she’d understand.

A short while later, I met Cole at a little hole in the wall diner halfway between his place and mine. A spot that didn’t have memories of Xander associated with it. We grabbed a table, and ordered coffee.

“Are you really engaged?” Cole asked again.

I was grateful he didn’t do small talk, but today at least a little would’ve been nice. “No.” Not anymore.Never againwould be best. “Thank you for playing along.”

Cole was a big man. Imposing. He demanded attention just by walking in a room. It was easy to see now why I’d fallen into his arms back then, when Xander was so out of reach.

I never should’ve done that to him, but we’d hashed that out before.

Except the Xander part.

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