Page 50 of Till Death Do Us Part

“Maybe death is preferable.”

“You’re twenty-one, Shortie,” he tells me, a sad smile on his face. My skin becomes twitchy under his scrutiny, the sympathy radiating off him uncomfortable. “You have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t wish for the ending just yet.”

“What about you?” I ask, ignoring him. Not that I want to die, not really. But it seems like it would be much easier than living these days. Leaning forwards, I prop my head into my hand. “You can’t be much older than me. What do you want to do with your life? Surely this isn’t the big grand plan, driving around the boss?”

“My place in this world is strategic. I love my family and my friends. This life is all I know, why would I want to do anything else?”

“What are you hiding?”

“What makes you think I’m hiding anything?” he asks, tilting his head to the side. It’s my turn to chuckle now, my brow raising at him as he holds my gaze unwaveringly.

“This life is about power. Everyone wants it. And you apparently don’t. Which tells me you have secrets you’re keeping.”

“Everyone has secrets, Pippa. I believe you know that better than most.” Bristling, at his words, I stutter, trying to explain myself, but he cuts me off with a shake of his head.

“I’m not judging you,” he says softly, a small smile on his face and it calms my growing anxiety slightly. I’m not sure there’s a reason to believe him—but I do anyway. “I know Antonio can be a cruel man.”

He pauses a moment, his eyes lingering on the mark left behind from Antonio’s hand earlier. “And this isn’t something you ever would have wanted for yourself. Plus, Leo is—” He hesitates, wrinkling his nose in thought before continuing. “Leo is charming and alluring to most.”

Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I tug at the skin while I watch him curiously. He sends me a wink before a sheepish grin takes over his face. He’s offering me a secret in exchange for my own. A silent promise, and my heart cracks a little for him then.

“Being gay in the Mafia isn’t welcomed. It’s a death sentence, Shortie.”

“It shouldn’t be,” I whisper, my heart aching for him. To not be able to live as your true self is more heart wrenching than anything else I can think of.

“You’re right. Maybe you can change that when you become the boss.”

I laugh incredulously, shaking my head. “Please, that would be the day. A woman having that much power over men.”

“More shocking things have happened,” he deadpans.

Before I can respond and tell him how utterly stupid his suggestion is, the door at the back of the hall opens and Antonio steps out. A smattering of blood coats his face, and a vicious grin lifts at his lips as a scream follows him down.

“What are they doing in there?” I whisper to Nico, my heart thundering against my chest when the door closes once more. He shakes his head, pursing his lips for a moment.

“Trust me. You don’t want to know.”

“I heard my name through the door when I was eavesdropping. What do I have to do with the Russians, Nico?”

“I like you, Shortie,” he tells me, lifting his mug to his mouth and blowing on the hot liquid for a beat. “However, the secrets of our world aren’t something you want to unveil right now. Stay innocent to them, for as long as you possibly can.”

We sit in silence after that, both lost in thought; or at least I am. The sad truth is, no matter how much I wish I could stay out of the violent truths of the world I’ve been dragged into . . . I don’t think I can. I fear they will pull me in with them anyway, and all I can do is brace myself for the fall out.

The whirring of blades deafens me as the plane drops closer to the ground. Bouncing on my heels eagerly, I rub my hands together to calm the excited energy whirling in my stomach. Almost two months ago, I stepped onto a plane and landed in New York City, not knowing when I’d see my family again. If I’d see them again.

All the missing them, the pain and sickness of being without them is all ending—for one week, at least. When Papá called the burner phone I’d be given yesterday to inform me of their travel plans, my heart just about burst out of my chest in happiness.

The moment the door opens, I’m flying across the asphalt, not caring for the shouting voices behind me telling me to stop. Papá catches me when my feet lift from the ground, his arms wrapping tightly around me as he hauls me into his chest and my legs fold around his waist.

“Oh, quanto mi sei mancata dolce ragazza,” he whispers in my ears, squeezing me close to him.Oh, how I’ve missed you, sweet girl.

Tears spring to my eyes, my vision becoming hazy as he continues to whisper in my ear. I suppose for many young adults, leaving home and starting their own lives is a welcome wish. For me though, I never put much thought into leaving my family. Nor did I ever really think I’d be thousands of miles away and only able to talk to them through a phone.

Within seconds, more arms are thrown around us, the hug becoming warmer as my sisters’ bodies press against me. Happy laughter rings from the five of us, though we don’t step back for a long time; we bask in the joy of being back together . . . even if only for a little while.

Papá finally puts me down but throws an arm over my shoulder to guide us over to where Antonio and Leonardo wait. I keep my gaze aimed at the ground while the men speak, refusing to give the satisfaction of staring at the face I can feel burning holes into me.

For the last four days, I’ve avoided Leonardo at every turn. Along with Antonio and Nico, we’ve all been staying in his penthouse, like a happy little family—if a happy little family was an aggressive husband, a secret gay man who’s afraid his secret will get him killed, and the man you cheated on the husband with—suffice to say I haven’t left the bedroom much.

---