Page 50 of Seventeen Years Ago

“That’s what you meant when you said that when you looked at me, you couldn't do it?” I asked. He nodded. I heard him and wanted to believe him, but there was one piece that still didn’t make sense. “Then why come to Tabiq and pay money for a woman? You must’ve wanted it at some point.” He looked away from me as though he didn’t want to talk about it. “Steven, if you care about me at all, you’ll answer that question. I need to know the truth, even if it hurts me.”He turned back to face me. “I have never told anyone this.”

“As I said before, you can tell me anything,” I reminded him.

“Remember when I told you that my father would come if you ever told anyone the truth?” he asked. I nodded. “He is the one who paid for your...services. I did not. He was a very sick and cruel person, and if you didn’t obey him, you paid with a beating. I swear my father only wore a belt so he could take it off and hit us with it.”

“That’s horrible. No child should be raised living in constant fear like that,” I said, giving his hand another squeeze. “But why did he bring you here?”

“Because my father wanted one of his sons to be strong enough to take over the family business, to follow in his shoes. He thought for sure my older brother Michael was going to be that person. But when I was seventeen, just about to turn eighteen, he took his own life.”

My heart broke for him. “I’m so sorry.”

“I knew Michael was angry and struggling with some depression. My father was pushing him so damn hard, trying to mold him into being the asshole he himself was. I think my brother couldn’t take it. I could be wrong, but I think he took his own life just not to be like my father.”

That was horrible. I had such loving parents, parents who died to protect me.

“My father brought me here so that I could prove that I could be the man he wanted me to be. One who wasn’t afraid of taking what he wanted no matter who it hurt. When he asked if I went through with it and I told him yes, his face was literally the proudest I’ve ever seen. And I never hated him more than that day.” He pulled me closer to him and looked me in the eyes. “That is why I was here. Not by choice, and not by my own desire. I was here because I was...was afraid to defy my father.”

“But you did. You didn’t hurt me,” I reminded him. “You might have lied to him, but by not following through with his orders, you stood up to him.”

“It doesn’t feel that way. You were still hurt. You had to carry the lie with you for years.”

“No. I chose to. You weren’t here so I surely wasn’t afraid of you. And I had no idea at that time what a viscous man your father really was. If I had, maybe I’d have spent my life in fear, looking over my shoulder. But I didn’t. And you also met my grandmother. She is sweet and loving, but she turns into a lioness and shows her teeth and claws if anyone even looks like they are going to hurt me,” I warned. He nodded. “And these last couple of years, I had the protection of the president, so you can’t really believe that I was afraid of your father, a man I never even saw,” I said truthfully. “Tabiq had been a vile place, and people like your father are the reasons it became such. But things are different now. The Hendersons are here working with Reesa to help us continue moving forward, and not back.”

“You don’t hate me for what I did?” he questioned.

“No. And now knowing the reason you were here, and by what means, I believe you were just as much of a victim as I was. Both being forced to do what we didn’t want to.” I let go of his hands and reached out, wrapping my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. “Thank you for being brave enough to defy your father. Thank you for being your own man.”

Thank you for telling me the truth so I can let go of the rest of my pain.

He held me tightly. “I am not sure I know who that is, but I think I’m finding out.”

We stood there just holding each other for what seemed like hours when in reality it had only been a few minutes. When he loosened his hold, I looked up and his eyes were closed. I had no idea what possessed me, maybe it was because I felt like he needed one, but I got up on my tippytoes and kissed him gently.

Instantly I felt him tense and I tried to pull myself away.Nope, you’re not gay.Any sadness in his eyes was replaced with desire. I looked away hoping he didn’t see mine.

He loosened his grip but continued to hold me close but at least I couldn’t feel the bulge in his jeans pressed up against me.

“That was...”

“I’m sorry,” I replied. Not something I was ready to discuss. Odd, because I was the one who initiated it.

“For kissing me?” he asked.

“Yes. We got all caught up in a very emotional conversation and I guess I...I wanted to show you that you’re not alone. That I’m here for you.”That I care very much about you and how you feel. Seeing you in pain hurts me.

“Aiza, I’m here for you too,” he replied, pulling me back against him.

His arms were strong, protective, and comforting in a way that I’d never known before. I should pull away and try to stop this feeling from building within my core.Is this what desire feels like? Wanting someone so much that it hurts?Since I’d never dated, it wasn’t a feeling I was familiar with. But I loved and hated it at the same time. Letting it continue only meant making it feel worse when it ended. When he left Tabiq and returned home, I won’t be able to hold him like this.

I can’t have what I want, but I can enjoy what I have.

I allowed myself to melt against him, inhaling his masculine scent. He wore a cologne I’d never smelled before, or maybe it was just the way it smelled on him.I really like this a lot.Snuggling in even closer. I could recall what he’d looked like naked all those years ago. He had a nice body, but not as muscular as he was now. Even through his clothes, I could feel the definition of his chest and abs.I bet he is spectacular to look at naked now.

I was so busy daydreaming about Steven that I never even heard anyone enter the suite until I heard the balcony sliding door open. I was facing that direction and I opened my eyes to see my grandmother peeking her head out. “I don’t want to disturb you two, but I would like to go back to my sisters.”

I wasn’t ashamed of being caught clinging to Steven. It was a memory I didn’t want tarnished with shame. Reluctantly I lifted my head from his chest and said, “I am not sure if we are cleared to travel again yet.” The storm had stopped a couple of hours ago. Thankfully it was fast-moving. What I saw from the balcony earlier showed some trees down, but no major destruction was evident. But that was just this side of the resort. That did not say what happened to the rest of the island.

Grandma grinned. “You’d know that answer if either of you showed up for the meeting downstairs.”

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