Page 11 of Seventeen Years Ago

I pointed at the door and said, “She is expecting you.”

He walked over and opened the door. Before he closed it, I heard him say, “My apologies Madam President. I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

Madam President. Better.

I was just about to turn my attention back to work when another chill ran through me. There was something about his voice that I couldn’t get out of my head. Taking a few deep breaths, I realized it was because he was American, and I hadn’t been alone in a room with one since that horrible night.

My hands began to shake, and my stomach twisted in a knot. Fear began to fill me, and I needed to go outside and get fresh air. Reesa would be in her office for a while. No one would notice if I stepped out for a few minutes.

Once I was outside and took a few deep breaths, my heart began to beep a normal rhythm. I thought that after all these years I could move past this, but obviously, I couldn’t. That night still hung over me and probably would until the day I die.

There was so much guilt within me that at times I felt as though I was suffocating.If only I hadn’t given my word, then I could speak my truth.

The door behind me opened and Steven stepped out to find me sitting on the cement stairs. “Are you okay?” he asked me for the second time this morning.

I stood up, brushed off the back of my skirt and replied, “Yes. Just wanted some air.”

“It is warm in there,” he said. “Especially since I just arrived from Boston. There’s snow on the ground back home.”

“We don’t get snow here,” I stated, not sure why I was even discussing the weather with him. “Is there something you need? Were you looking for me?” I asked.

“The meeting hasn’t started yet. They are talking about a party happening on Sunday. I’d rather not listen to the ladies discuss what to wear,” he said.

“She’s going?” I blurted out.

“Not sure which woman you are speaking about but it appears they both are. Why?” he questioned. “Because it looks like you were hoping they weren’t.”

“It means that I’ll be attending as well.”

His brow arched. “For some reason you do not seem to be as excited as those two. Why is that? Don’t you like parties?”

It was none of his business and I shouldn’t have mentioned it, but once again, my words seemed to be slipping past my lips for no reason at all. “I’m not one for parties or crowds. Also, it sounded more like a family gathering and I am not family.”

“Neither am I,” he stated.

“But you won’t be there. It’s for ladies only,” I reminded him.

“Oh yes. I forgot about that. Maybe you should go inside and join in their conversation, so you don’t all wear the same dress.” I shot him a puzzled look and he grinned. “It’s a joke. The women back home seem to have an issue with showing up wearing the same dress as another person there.”

“That won’t be an issue for me. My grandmother is making mine,” I said.And my mouth keeps moving when I want it shut. What is wrong with me?I had never been accused of being a chatterbox. “Excuse me, I should get back inside.”Before I blurt out anything else I don’t want to talk about.

“And leave me out here all alone? Doesn’t sound very hospitable to me,” he stated.

I looked up at him ready to apologize when I saw the grin cross his face. “I’m not in the entertainment business. I haverealwork to attend to.”

As I went to pass by him, he grabbed hold of my wrist and stopped me. I spun around and looked up, his face now only inches from mine. My body tensed at the uncomfortable closeness.

He released me and said softly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I couldn’t stop looking into his eyes. How did I not see it before?It’s him. The American from that night. “You’re....you’re...”

“Yes. I’m sorry. I was only joking,” he stated.

You’re him.It explained why I reacted so violently to the sound of his voice. But he’d changed physically since I’d seen him last. He had a beard, and physically, was a lot more muscular than I remembered too. I needed to get away from him, far away, before Steven made the connection and realized who I was too.

Adverting my eyes to his, I said, “You didn’t scare me. As I said, I have work to do. If you don’t mind, I need to return to my desk.”

“And I have a meeting I should get back to. I don’t want to keep your president waiting for me a second time.”

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