Page 58 of Seventeen Years Ago

“What proof is that?” I asked.

We pulled into the airport and Bennett stopped the SUV. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a piece of paper. “This is just a copy. I have the original. Read it on your flight. Now get the fuck out of Tabiq, and don’t ever come back. If you do, I will make sure Aiza and everyone else knows about your family. Got it?”

I had no recourse. Nodding, I took the paper and my suitcase and got out of the vehicle. Once I was on the jet, and in flight, only then did I allow myself to look at what Bennett handed me. As soon as I opened it, I knew it was valid. I’d know my brother’s handwriting anywhere. But it was what it said that ripped me in two.

I can no longer look at myself. You say I am not a monster, yet it is all I see when I look in the mirror. You said you forgive me. But I cannot forgive myself. I wish I had been stronger, and stopped my father from doing all the evil he has done. But he is right. I can’t win against him. No one can. There’s only one way to stop it all.

Take this money. Use it to get yourself out of Tabiq. Don’t let what I did to you happen to our daughter. The only way I know how to protect you both is to leave you both. Because if my father ever learns about our child, he’ll come for her and I won’t be able to stop him.

Tell her I love her. Tell her that her father is sorry for not being able to watch her grow up. But she is the one good thing in my life. May she grow up to be just like you.

Forgive me.

Michael M.

My brother was in Tabiq. He...he had a child. I have a niece. But all this confirmed why my brother went into such a deep depression. He was riddled with guilt and although forgiven, he couldn’t forget. I hadn’t gone through with the act, but I understood his feelings. Our father tried to raise us to be emotionless monsters like him, but we were the opposite. We were driven by emotion, and because of his abuse, it was killing us slowly.

Folding the paper, I put it in my pocket. There were so many questions like how Bennett came into possession of it. If the man didn’t hate my guts, I could ask him. If I was going to find the answers, find my only living family, my niece, I would have to go back to Tabiq. Sadly, I’ll probably end up in jail doing so.And will my niece be as forgiving as her mother when she learns the truth about her father? Will she hate him as much as he hated himself?

Finding her was the first thing at hand. But she never needed to know who I was. But she sure in hell needed me to do what Michael couldn’t anymore. Protect her.

This was going to take time, but more importantly, it was going to take someone in Tabiq who might be willing to help me. Someone who would believe that I’m not a monster, that I meant this woman no harm. There was only a short list, Aiza and Caydan. No way in hell could I pull her into this. She was already hurting enough.Hopefully, Caydan didn’t believe the same as Bennett, or I'm in this alone.

I buzzed the pilot, and I told him about the flight change. I didn’t give a shit about viewing some property in another country any longer. Right now, I needed to get back to the states and do this for my brother.

Sorry Aiza. I meant it. I was going to come back. But if I do, you’ll live in shame because of not just me, but my entire family. You don’t want to be linked to us.

The pain she was in now is nothing compared to what she would be facing if anyone knew what happened.

CHAPTER22

Aiza

It had been a week since Steven had left. I heard from him a couple of times via text messages. Not the sort of communication I had anticipated. He’d told me that things were extremely busy. I got it. There was also the time difference that wasn’t helping either. But if Reesa was right and he loved me, he’d be making more of an effort to make this work. It was as though he was intentionally pushing me away. It hurt worse than if he told me before that it was over. Then I would’ve been able to cry it all out at once. Now I am sitting by a damn phone hoping it will ring of buzz. I’m not a teenager. This is ridiculous.

I could easily block his number or break it off with him myself. It wasn’t like I didn’t have any control over this situation. But I wasn’t ready to do that. I wasn’t ready to give up hope. Dragging myself off my couch I walked into the kitchen. There was no point in trying to hide my feelings from my grandmother. She must have heard me crying last night and the night before.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat down across from her.

“What did he say last night?” she asked.

“Nothing. Not one word,” I sighed.

“Aiza don’t give up on him. I’m telling you; something is going on. He will figure it out and come to you. Trust me.

She was telling me what I wanted to hear, but I wasn’t sure I believed it anymore. The Steven I got to know while he was in Tabiq wanted to protect me. This didn’t feel like he was thinking about my feelings, or me at all.

Where is the man that I fell in love with?

I was glad I never told him. It would always make me wonder why he was blowing me off now. It was evident that my feelings weren’t reciprocated. That was okay. No one said just because you love someone, they must love you in return.

“Grandma, can wenottalk about him this morning? My head is hurting.”Nothing compared to my heart.

“Not one more word from me, I promise.”

Promise.I have come to dislike that word. Each time I hear it, it makes me think about Steven.

“Thank you. I’m going to head off to work. Is there anything you need before I go?” I asked.

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