Page 6 of Paradise Pride

“It’s still crazy and not your job,” Meghan said again, but she stepped back to let Florence in. She’d hoped the alcohol would relax her once she got upstairs; instead, she was on high alert and had sobered up within minutes.

“No, it’s not my job, but I want to.” Sitting on the bed, Florence bounced to assess the mattress and laughed. “Besides, this is so much better than my own bed.”

“You’re full of shit. Those beds are terrible.” Meghan joined her and chuckled when the bed creaked, threatening to break. “You’ll regret this.”

Florence laughed and turned to face her. “You haven’t seen where I live. It’s basic at best. In fact, it might be worse than here, but I’m hardly ever home, so I don’t care.”

“That’s not possible.” Meghan shot her a grin.

“Oh, yes, it is. Like I said, I’m only here through the summers, and I’m outside all the time, so I get any cheap room nearby that’s available. This year, I’m sharing a house with my colleague and bestie Manuel and another woman. It’s crammed, but we get along.” Florence gestured to the room. “And I wasn’t lying when I said it looked a bit like this. Dated, ugly and mildly uncomfortable, but this is still better.”

“That makes me feel less guilty.” Meghan let out a deep breath and cradled her knees. Her anxiety was slowly subsiding now that she knew she wouldn’t be alone. “Why are you doing this for me?”

“Because I’m having a good time, I’m not bothered about my own bed, and I like you and want to help you,” Florence said, and Meghan believed her. “Are you tired?”

Meghan looked at the other bed and shrugged. “I’m wide awake, but you must be tired.”

“Far from.” Florence got up. “How about I get a bottle of wine from downstairs? It’s not the best wine, but if you’re not fussy…”

“Never fussy,” Meghan said. She pointed to the balcony. “We could sit out there for a while? This room is stuffy, even with the balcony doors open.”

“Sounds good. Are you okay to wait here? I won’t be long.”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Meghan forced a smile. Surely, she’d be okay for ten minutes. Her logic told her this was a perfectly safe place, yet her heart started pounding in her throat as soon as Florence left. Taking a couple of deep breaths, she fought the flashbacks that started attacking her.

6

Florence

“One for you.” Florence poured Meghan a glass of white wine and handed it to her. “And one for me.” She sat next to her and leaned back against the balcony door. “Do you want to tell me why you’re so scared of being alone?”

Meghan silently sipped her wine as she stared down at the poolside. “I’m not afraid to be alone per se. I’m fine at home. It’s just hotels that make me uncomfortable when I’m by myself.” She paused. “I knew there was a chance Kim wouldn’t be here at night, and I honestly thought I’d be okay but…”

“But you couldn’t have foreseen staying in an empty hotel.” Florence placed a hand on her shoulder. “It will all be better tomorrow when it’s busy and noisy.”

“I know,” Meghan said. “What are you afraid of?”

“Hmm…” Florence could not think of a single thing that scared her. She was fearless, according to her friends, perhaps even a bit reckless, and she never said no to a challenge, no matter how ridiculous. She’d bungee jumped, ziplined, paraglided, and she’d jumped out of a plane on several occasions, loving the rush of those first few seconds before she opened her parachute. She was comfortable in water too; she’d swum in wild shores and was a confident cliff diver.

“Nothing?” Meghan asked when she still hadn’t answered.

“I don’t think so. Well, maybe apart from missing out,” Florence joked. “But that’s not serious enough to call it a fear. I worry about others, of course. I want my family to be safe and healthy, but when it comes to myself, I always trust that everything will work out. Maybe that’s naïve.”

“Maybe. But still, it’s nice. I used to be like you.”

“What changed?”

“Something happened.” Meghan shrugged and didn’t elaborate, so Florence didn’t enquire. If Meghan was uncomfortable talking about it, she wasn’t going to push her. “Tell me more about you,” Meghan said, diverting the topic away from herself. “Do you date a lot?”

“I have fun.” Now that she was off duty, Florence was really enjoying the wine, as she didn’t have to worry about being caught. “I was in a long-term relationship with my first boyfriend until I was twenty-one. He was a DJ, and I thought he was the coolest person in the world.” She chuckled. “And then I developed a mad crush on a woman, so I broke up with him. I wanted to explore my sexuality, and he was my best friend, so it was difficult. The woman in question was a colleague in a hotel where I worked, and we hooked up a couple of times. It never got serious, but it did open my eyes, and after her, I was in a couple of short-ish relationships with women. On an emotional level, I like both men and women. As long as there’s attraction, it works for me. But on a physical level, I prefer sex with women.”

“Oh.” Meghan turned to look at her curiously. “Why is that?”

“I don’t know. There’s something more intuitive about women, I suppose, and I just love their softness and their curves…” Florence watched Meghan’s eyes darken, and she wondered what she was thinking. “Have you ever tried it?”

“I’ve kissed a woman, but I’ve never gone any further than that.” Meghan pursed her lips, and her eyes darted to Florence’s mouth for a split second. “It was a long time ago, though, in uni.”

“Was there alcohol involved?”

---