Page 24 of Paradise Pride

It didn’t help. After fifteen minutes, she was still staring at the door, terrified she’d see the doorknob turn or someone would knock and tip her over the edge.Fuck fighting it.I can’t stay here.As soon as she’s made the decision, Meghan couldn’t get out of there fast enough. She scrambled to find her sandals and didn’t bother with a cover-up as she rushed out and sprinted to the end of the corridor. Vaguely aware she looked terrified, she avoided the stares of other people in the lift as they went down, and when the doors finally opened on the ground floor, she squeezed past them and ran outside. She couldn’t breathe and tried to inhale deeply, fighting for air.

Finally, she began to calm down. The dizziness set in, and she steadied herself against a palm tree. It took a few minutes before she was able to move. Chasing the delightful noise of a crowd, she followed the boulevard until she reached what looked like an outdoor club. There was lots of laughter, and people were drinking and dancing to pop music. Meghan looked out for a free table or a stool where she could sit and get a grip. Nearing the bar, she spotted a familiar face—a beautiful face—and was so relieved she had to stop herself from tearing straight over and flinging her arms around Florence’s neck.

“Meghan! What are you doing here?” Florence rubbed Meghan’s shoulder. “You look upset.” She studied Meghan’s face, then took her into her arms and hugged her tight. “It’s okay,” she whispered in her ear, running her hand up and down Meghan’s back. “It’s okay. Just breathe.”

Meghan sighed as Florence held her. She loved the smell of her hair and buried her face in her curls. Someone close by was talking, and it took her a while to realise that person was poking her arm.

“Excuse me. We were kind of in the middle of something,” a woman said.

“What?” Meghan looked up. It was the pretty blonde who had given her number to Florence. She was slurring her words a little, but she was standing firm with her hands on her hips.

“Please, Amber,” Florence said. “Leave us for a while, will you? Can’t you see she’s upset?”

Another shock hit Meghan. It wasn’t fear this time, but it was intense and made her stomach hurt. Florence was here with Amber, and she was interrupting their date.She must have called her straight after she left Kim and me.“I’m sorry,” she said, covering her mouth with her hand as she stepped back. “I didn’t mean to…” Swallowing her words, she looked from Florence to Amber and back, wondering what exactly was going on. She had no right to say anything, but she still felt hurt. “I shouldn’t have come here,” she finally said and ran off in the direction of the beach. She heard Florence calling after her but ignored her pleas to come back. She didn’t want Florence to see her tears. It was all too much. The fear, the memories, the panic attack, her feelings for Florence, the shock of seeing her with someone else, and the sudden pang of jealousy that made her feel sick.

“Meghan! Please stop and talk to me.”

Crossing the road without looking, Meghan barely dodged a car and was reeling at how close it had come to hitting her when she reached the other side. Florence was still calling after her, but she kept going until she was too exhausted and overwhelmed with emotion to continue. Coming to a stop on the beach, she covered her face with her hands and cried.

“Meghan…” Florence caught up with her and took her wrist before she had the chance to move away from her. “Hey, whatever you think is going on between me and Amber, I can assure you, you’re wrong.” She cupped Meghan’s face and met her eyes. “Nothing is going on, I promise. I even cancelled our date on Tuesday.”

“And met up with her today instead.” Meghan sniffed. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I didn’t.” Florence looked at her intently. “She just happened to be there.”

Meghan shook her head. “I meant you can do whatever you want. It’s nothing to do with me.”

“Come on, Meghan. You know that’s not true. We have…” Florence paused. “We have something special, and you know it.”

Meghan finally looked up, although the only thing she could manage to say was, “I look like shit.”

Florence chuckled and shook her head. “You don’t. You look beautiful as always.” She ran a hand over Meghan’s cheek. “What happened tonight? Why aren’t you with Kim?”

“She went back to Andres,” Meghan said through sniffs. “And then I had a panic attack and came here. I’m not a stalker, I promise.” She shook her head. “I feel ridiculous.”

“Hey, I know you’re not a stalker and you’re never, ever ridiculous.” Florence pulled her close, and Meghan closed her eyes and cherished the warm contact. As always, Florence made her feel safe and desired and better about herself.

“So I didn’t interrupt your date?” she asked.

“No. I couldn’t possibly go on a date, now that…” Florence hesitated. “Now that we are where we are.” She smiled. “That doesn’t mean I expect anything from you. I know you’re not gay, but it wouldn’t feel right to see someone else while you’re here because I have feelings for you.”

Meghan stared at her. “You do?”

“Yes. I’m crushing on you like crazy. Haven’t you noticed?”

Meghan shrugged and couldn’t help but smile. “I felt the chemistry.” She shot Florence a shy look. “It’s mutual, but I’m sure you know that too.” Seeing Florence’s face light up took away some of her anxiety. “And I have no idea why I’m so scared,” she added, wiping her cheeks.

“What exactly are you scared of?” Florence asked, wrapping her arms around her neck.

Meghan lost her ability to speak once again. In Florence’s firm grip, her body was on fire. The closeness made her weak in every limb, and she desperately wanted to kiss her.

“I don’t know,” she stammered. “This feels so intense that I’m worried there might not be a way back.”

Florence nodded. “Would that be so bad?”

“I…” Meghan’s voice trailed off as she inched back and got lost in Florence’s eyes. “Fuck. Just kiss me,” she whispered. “Please, just kiss me.”

24

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