Page 57 of Paradise Pride

“Here you go. Flo.” Manuel came back and attached the full keg. He ran the tap until the cheap lager flowed without foam, then yelled, “Beer is back! Who wants a beer?”

The enthusiastic cheers that followed drowned out the already loud music. The word ‘beer’ clearly brought out the beast in the guests.

“Thank you, I’ll take it from here.” Florence forced her lips into an awkward grin that made Manuel laugh as she shoved him aside and took over the tap. “See? I’m smiling. Now go take your break. You’ve been pulling the weight today.” She didn’t mind being busy, as distraction was the best remedy. Before Meghan, distraction in the form of someone else had been the best remedy, but she didn’t feel like going out and meeting other men or women.

What had changed? And why was it even harder to move on than it had been after she’d broken up with Juan? Was it because deep down, she’d seen real potential with Meghan? Was it because she’d truly believed it could work out long-term? Some part of her had held that hope, sure, but that was the naïve girl in her who still had a lot to learn.

Grow up. Life isn’t about getting what you want all the time. Like Manuel said, it was a holiday fling, nothing more. Meghan will move on, you will move on, so suck it up.

“Any chance of getting that beer?” a man asked, pointing to the glass that was overflowing and running down Florence’s hand and wrist. “It hurts my heart to watch liquid gold go to waste.” He spread his arms in a dramatic gesture.

“Oh, sorry. I was in my own world.” Florence looked down at her soaked hand, shook off the beer and handed him the pint before she placed another glass under the tap. “Here you go. Who’s next?”

57

Meghan

“Shoot. You have ten minutes.” Kim’s demeanour was cold and all business as she sat down opposite Meghan, and it was hurtful to realise how they’d gone from best friends to two women who were just meeting up because Meghan had begged her to. She’d messed up, and it would be hard to come back from it, but at least Kim was here now. “Because I’m done with your apologetic messages,” she continued. “They mean nothing to me unless you’re finally honest with me. I know you weren’t with Tiger. Someone spotted him in a bar chatting up women while you claimed to be with him. Andres told me after I came back.”

So she knows.It explained why Kim had been so unforgiving. Meghan wished she could have invited her to talk sooner, but she hadn’t been ready; she still wasn’t sure she was ready.

She took a deep breath, bracing herself before she finally met Kim’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, I’ve been a bad friend,” she said. “You’re right. I haven’t been honest.” She already regretted her choice of pub, as it was busy and noisy.

“No, you haven’t.” Kim’s eyes welled up. “You used to tell me everything, in detail. And then I get engaged and all of a sudden you shut down. What’s that all about? Are you jealous or something? Because you should be happy for me.”

“I’m not jealous,” Meghan said. “I’m truly happy for you, but I had a really strange stay at Paradise, and it changed everything.”

“Everything?” Kim’s eyes widened. “What the fuck, Meghan? That’s still way too vague, so please enlighten me.”

Meghan was silent as she picked at her fingernails. “I’ve fallen for Florence,” she finally said. With those simple words, her most private feelings were out in the open. As expected, Kim gasped. “We’re not together anymore. I think I’ve ruined it, but what it comes down to…is that I’m pretty sure I’m gay.”

Now it was Kim’s turn to be quiet. She stared at her, open-mouthed. “You’re in love with the bartender?” She frowned. “I know I teased you about her, but I didn’t think you’d actually go there or even be into it if you did.”

“Well, I did go there.” Meghan bit her lip as she looked down at her hands. “I spent most of the holiday with her.” It felt surreal to say it, and she was terrified, but it was out, and the world hadn’t ended. “Every night.”

“Every night?”

Meghan nodded, still picking at her fingernails. “It was just friendship at first.” She hesitated. “I was scared to sleep on my own, so she stayed with me.”

“But you’re not scared of any—”

“You’re right, I wasn’t,” Meghan interrupted her. “Not until a few years back.” She hated talking about it again, but it also felt easier now that she’d already told Florence. “Do you remember that time I went to Paris for work?”

* * *

Kim took Meghan’s hand after she’d finished. Her eyes were glazed, and her bottom lip was trembling as if she was about to burst into tears. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t talk about it,” Meghan said. “And I didn’t know I had a problem until I got to the hotel. I’m seeing a therapist again, and I’m dealing with it.”

“I wish I’d known. I wouldn’t have left you on your own if I had.”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t talk about it,” Meghan said again. “And besides, you were there to see the love of your life. You were so happy.”

“And you were afraid.” Kim’s eyes welled up. “Traumatised.”

“I wasn’t afraid. Florence was with me. She didn’t mind sleeping in our room, and we became very close very fast because we spent so much time together.” Meghan gave her a small smile. “And I had a crush on her, you were right about that. I’ve never felt that way—so infatuated with someone.” She sighed. “But again, I couldn’t tell you.”

“I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. We’re best friends.” Kim squeezed her hand. “Why can’t you open up to me?”

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