Page 6 of Bed of Thorns

He patted me on the shoulder, then wrapped his hand around my arm. “I know she’s important to you, Edmond, but you need to think about you. One day you’re going to get out of here. You can’t ruin that opportunity or any others by requiring vengeance. At least not in the method you’re seeking. Other methods can prove to be more… successful. Keep in mind that there’s so much beauty in this world. I know you can’t see that today or maybe not tomorrow, but one day you’ll understand that the only thing that truly matters in this life is love. But in loving someone, you need to be prepared to accept a twisted path. There will be many paths for you to choose. It’s how you do so that will alter your life. You never want to be in the position to be forced to say you’re sorry.”

His words were always cathartic, but I had no capability left of loving anyone. I just couldn’t do it.

* * *

Main State Prison

Mercedes,

Pops has always been angry. He and I stopped getting along after my mama died. I don’t like that he’s mean to you, especially because of me. That pisses me off. He’ll tell you all the reasons you should stay away from me. Maybe he’s right. I am a bad man; however, I didn’t kill anyone. Don’t do something to allow Pops to get angry with you. Okay? Promise me that. And also promise me that when you can get away from him, you’ll never return. He will find a way to destroy you. I bet you’ll get into every school you applied for. I’m working on getting my degree inside this hell hole too. Maybe that book you sent inspired me.

P.S. Stay away from boys. They’ll only break your heart.

Edmond

* * *

Port Christy, Maine

Edmond,

I only have a minute, but I wanted to tell you some exciting news. I got into Columbia University. Can you believe it? I’m so happy. I can’t wait to get the hell away from here.

Things have gotten ugly. I know I shouldn’t be telling you that, but I don’t like your father. No, I hate him. I really hate him. I begged Mom to stop seeing him, but I think she still loves him. I made myself a promise that I’m never going to return home. Never.

New York. Doesn’t that sound exciting?

Oh, and you were right. Boys suck. The asshole (oops) stood me up for my prom. My. Senior. Prom. At least he had the decency to send me my favorite sterling silver roses later. I gave him a black eye. Mom was mortified, but I felt damn good. Oh, here’s a picture of me in the prom dress. I probably look goofy, but I love the color.

Have you ever thought about love? I know it’s silly to talk about this with you, but it’s all I’ve been thinking about lately. Passionate love, the kind where your heart beats a little faster just thinking about the person and when all you want to do is be in the same room with him. I can only imagine what it feels like to kiss for hours under the moonlight or to walk hand in hand on a beach, enjoying the waves and the scent of the ocean. I wonder if there’s anything like real love. I’m just being too romantic. At least that’s what my girlfriends tell me. What do you think? Maybe there’s no such thing as a bed of roses, only a bed of thorns.

I’ll write when I get settled into the dorms. Don’t send another letter for a little while. My bestie is off to Iowa for college. Who goes to Iowa? New address soon.

Oh, and I wish you would tell me more about your story, but don’t worry. I never plan on speaking to your father ever again.

I miss you.

Mercedes

* * *

Four years later

Columbia University

Edmond,

I feel like it’s been a lifetime since I’ve found the time to write to you. I’m very sorry. Classes and work took almost all my time. It’s hard to believe graduation is next week. I’m making good on my promise. I’m staying here. I have resumes out everywhere. I’ve thought of you often. I hope when you’re released one day that we can be friends.

Mercedes

* * *

Edmond

Quiet.

I’d learn to enjoy the limited quiet, the power of the sun. As I glanced up at the sky, I thought about her letter. She was building a life of her own, far removed from the tentacles my father had. For that I was grateful, although the haunted reflection of seeing her life through a few letters over the years hadn’t softened the man inside, only made him harder.

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