“And then what?” I say just as softly, “what would you have done once I was better? Moved on with someone else? Just let me go back to my life?”
Renegade licks his lips again and sighs. “Not a chance, woman. I’d have held on to you for the rest of my life. But you didn’t even give me a choice. You ran, Raylynn. Why?”
Shaking my head, I reach up and gently pull his hands away from my face. “I can’t, Renegade. We can’t do this. It doesn’t matter why I left— I did. Whatever started between us three years ago is long gone now.”
The moment the words are out of my mouth, Renegade lets out a low growl and grabs the side of my neck again, pulling me forward as he leans down and slams his lips into mine. His tongue swipes my bottom lip, and they part as I moan into him, my one hand coming up to grab his wrist as the other grabs the front of his shirt. Renegade tilts his head and deepens the kiss, pulling another moan from my body as he turns us and pushes me back until I’m trapped against the brick wall of the building next to the diner. Letting go of my neck, his hands run down my sides and settle on my hips as he kisses me until the only thing I can think about is him and the way my whole body, my entire being, doesn’t want him to ever stop.
I gasp in a breath as he pulls his lips from mine and trails them down my neck, licking and nipping at my skin until my back arches off the wall and presses into him. The moment his hand moves under my shirt and his thumb runs along my stomach just above my pants, I gently push against his chest.
Renegade rests his forehead against mine, his breathing just as labored, and brings his hands back to frame my face. “Ain’t shit between me and you long gone, Raylynn, and you know it.”
“Renegade,” I whisper, running my hand gently up and down his chest as he groans.
“I’m gonna walk you to your car, and tomorrow, we’re gonna sit down together and talk, you understand?” He leans back enough to look me in the eyes. “I spent forever lookin’ for you, Raylynn, and I can’t just walk away without us talkin’. Not this time.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and take a deep breath. “I don’t have a car, but maybe we can sit down while you’re in town.”
Renegade’s body tenses as he narrows his eyes at me again. “How the hell do you get home at this hour?”
Standing straight, I look down at the sidewalk between us, a little embarrassed because he knows nothing about my life. Not how I struggle and not a thing about Savior, and I know my daughter alone is going to be enough to make him run for the hills. If he finds out that she was fathered by one of my rapists and I chose to keep her, he’s going to think I’m crazy and bolt.
“I walk,” I kind of mumble.”
“You fuckin’ what? At two in the fuckin’ mornin’?”
I finally bring my eyes to his and shrug. “I only live a half hour away. It’s not that far.”
The fire that blazes in his eyes is kind of terrifying as he stands to his full height and points at his truck. “Get in the truck, Raylynn.”
Panic hits me like a tidal wave. Renegade cannot come to my apartment. I don’t even know what the hell is happening right now, and there’s no way I’m ready for him to even know about Savior, let alone meet her. “It’s fine. I literally walk every night.”
Renegade pins me with a look that could kill. “You ain’t walkin’. Now, get in the truck, or I’ll fuckin’ put you in it, woman.”
The battle of wills lasts for about three seconds, and I know he’s not going to back down. Rolling my eyes again, I shove off the wall and practically stomp to the truck’s passenger side. “Fine. But you take me home and drop me off. You’re not coming in. I’m not ready for all that yet.”
Renegade comes over and yanks open the door. “Fine. But one more thing.” Looking up at him, he leans down and presses his lips to mine again, this time much gentler than we were a few seconds ago. When he pulls back, I stare at him in confusion. “I get one more of those before you get out of this truck.”
I can’t stop the smile that takes over my face as I chuckle and shake my head before climbing into the passenger’s seat. After Renegade shuts my door and moves around the front of the truck, I don’t miss the smirk on his face either. I already know this is a bad idea, but he’s already kissed me twice. What can one more hurt? Especially if it keeps him from trying to follow me up to my apartment.
The ride to my building only takes fifteen minutes, and aside from telling him where to pull over, we don’t say much. After putting the truck in park, he cuts the engine and leans forward to look out the windshield at my building. His expression doesn’t give anything away, so whatever he’s thinking, I can’t guess. When he sits back, he turns in his seat to face me and reaches over to rest his hand on my leg.
“I want to see you tomorrow,” he says, his eyes never leaving my face.
Biting my bottom lip, I glance down at his hand. “I, uh, have the day off tomorrow. So, how about I meet you at the diner around noon.”
He squeezes my leg gently, and I look back at him. “Okay. But take my number so you can get a hold of me.”
“I don’t have a phone, Renegade,” I say, trying not to let him see how uncomfortable it is to admit something so small to him. I don’t know why, but the last thing I want is to see the disappointment on his face when he realizes what my life is like. I spent too much time as is disappointed in myself for the way Savior and I live.
“Well, we’ll discuss that tomorrow, too, then. Now, come here.”
My breath catches as I lean forward at the same time he does, and his lips touch mine again. His tongue invades my mouth, dancing slowly with mine, making me feel things I haven’t felt since before I was kidnapped all that time ago. Hell, I haven’t been with a guy sexually since three months before all that shit. I haven’t even looked at a guy in all this time. But Renegade, everything about how he makes me feel pushes me to want those things. I felt them the first night in his bed and knew then that if I stayed, I’d fall in love with him, and that would be the end of me. Those feelings haven’t changed one bit in all this time, and the way I lean closer to him as he brings his hand up to wrap around the side of my neck is just proof of everything I thought when I met him.
Renegade slowly pulls back, rubbing his thumb across my cheek as he sighs. “Tomorrow. Noon. Don’t try to run on me again, little love.”
My heart stutters every time he calls me those two little words. It’s the first thing he ever called me, long before he even knew my name. “I won’t.”
“Promise me, Raylynn,” he says with some much earnest in his tone that I can’t help but wonder what he’s not telling me because it’s definitely something.