Page 48 of Dancin' with Demons

If someone told me three and a half weeks ago when Renegade walked into the diner in Nags Head that I’d be sitting in his backyard by mid-October, sipping a cup of coffee around a bonfire with him, my daughter, and a guy named Reaper, I’d have called them crazy. Yet, here we are. It’s full dark despite the fact it’s barely past seven in the evening, and Renegade has this fire pit going at like max capacity. Watching him build this early, I wasn’t prepared to find it attractive but turns out survival skills and being a good dad are two of the hottest things on my new list of things I find attractive.

Hell, I never thought I’d have a list of things I found attractive again. I don’t think I really do because the only man I find attractive is Renegade. I’m only twenty-five and most people might find that odd or strange but when I look back at everything, my life before college, during college, prisoner to the Havoc Ryders, I’m glad to already have the man I want to be with in my life, in that role. I doubt a lot of things in my life and being back in Tennessee— despite loving that Lacey is a presence in our lives again and Sandra is a welcome addition, oh, Pint, too. I do like her even though I know she’s sort of hooked up with Renegade in the past— I’ve doubted my place here but the moment I look at this man, like right now with him on the other side of the yard with my daughter playing flashlight tag, I know this is home. Not Tennessee. Renegade— he’s home. For me, for Savior. Wherever he is, that’s where we belong.

Sipping my coffee, I chuckle as Savior jumps out from behind the big oak tree they’re running around, and Renegade hollers, pretending to be scared. Savior’s high-pitch giggles echo through the air, and there’s part of me that wishes I could’ve given her this life soon. I know it’s stupid to wallow on stuff like that. I can’t change her upbringing any more than I can change how she was conceived.

“You know . . .” Reaper’s low voice startles me, and I jump enough to damn near spill my coffee. “Shit, sweetheart, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s alright,” I say with another laugh, “pretty much a mouse fart can make me jump if I’m not paying attention.”

Reaper lowers himself into the chair closest to me, where Renegade sat before going to play with Savior. “It won’t always be like that.”

Turning my head and staring at Reaper’s profile, it strikes me how many similarities there are between them— darker skin, deep brown eyes, long hair, though Reaper’s doesn’t have the blonde highlights that Renegade’s does. “Are you and Renegade related?”

His eyes snap to mine and a smile slides onto his face. “Not by blood, but to most white people, no offense, all Hawaiians look the same.”

“Sorry,” I say, glancing at the ground, “I didn’t mean to—”

“You didn’t, Raylynn,” he says as I bring my eyes back to his. “Renegade and I are both natives. That’s how we know each other. I was born in Hawai’i, my mother’s from there. Military brat, though. Moved a lot until high school. Went back to the island then, spent all my time with that jackass.” He laughs before taking a swing from his beer.

“Did you join the club with him?”

Reaper shakes his head, his eyes darkening a little as the fire light dances in them. “Nah. We lost touch after graduation until about five years ago.”

The way his voice drops off sends worry through my veins and goosebumps across my skin. “Reaper?”

He turns his eyes on me again, and the intensity is soul shattering. “Renegade ever tell you how I got that name?”

Shaking my head, I sit up a little straighter, turning my body to face my man’s brother-in-arms. “He hasn’t talked much about any of you, honestly.”

Reaper smiles, but given his mood, the vibe coming off him right now, it’s more scary than comforting. “He doesn’t want to scare you. But since I’m stayin’ with you all for now, I’d rather be honest with you, if you think you can handle that.” He glances at me again, and I nod just enough to him to know I’m good. “Five years ago, I lived in Chicago with my wife and four-year-old daughter. We didn’t have a ton, but I made decent money workin’ as security for a pharmaceutical company. Enough that my wife didn’t have to work.”

Savior’s shrill laugh makes both of us look across the yard just as Renegade scoops her up and spins her around. I turn back to Reaper just as he lowers his beer bottle again.

“Some gang tried to break into the lab one night, and I killed two of them. Most people wouldn’t think shit of it. It was a gang; I was doin’ my job. Same thing I thought until police told me one of the fuckers I killed was the gang leader’s brother. I didn’t even know what that meant until I came home one night and found my wife and daughter murdered, our house painted red.”

I can’t stop the gasp that rushes out of me, or the fact my hand shoots out to rest on his forearm. Reaper slowly looks from my face to where my hand rests on his arm. I go to move it but he sets his beer on the armrest, and uses his hand to cover mine, keeping it where it is. I try to give him an encouraging look, but it’s so obvious that talking about this is still painful for him just by the tightness around his eyes.

“You’re the first person I’ve told about this since I became a prospect. Before that, it was just Renegade and Catacomb. They gave me the name. After my family was killed, I think I snapped. Started huntin’ the gang members, pickin’ ‘em off one-by-one, even if they weren’t directly involved. If they wore the gang’s colors, I sent them to their maker.”

“Like a reaper,” I whisper, and he nods, picking his hand up from mine to grab his beer again.

“Tracked the leader here to Tennessee. Ran into Renegade. Took him a while, but he finally got me to fess up about why I was in town. Offered to help me find the fucker, and he did. That night I got to see how he became the Enforcer, and he got to see just how fucked up I was after what happened. I was a prospect when you ran three years ago, just kept to myself more than not. “

“I’m sorry for your loss, Reaper,” I say quietly.

“Thank you, Ray,” he says, matching my tone. “Ain’t nothin’ gonna bring my wife and little girl back, but if I can protect you and Savior for Renegade, maybe that’ll give me some redemption for not protectin’ ‘em.”

Reaper sucks in a surprised breath when I push out of my chair and lean over to hug him. He’s hesitant for a moment, but his arms go around my midsection, and he pats me on the back, letting out a deep, slow breath. I don’t know why I’m hugging this man, but it just seems like someone should and hasn’t. He lost everything, and yet, even with that pain still in his very bones, he’s played with my daughter and cared for her as if he doesn’t have a hurt in the world— and I know being around Savior can’t be easy when he’s still mourning the loss of his own daughter.

“I’m gonna try not to get mad,” Renegade says, his tone making me stand from Reaper and turn around, “because I know jealousy is stupid, but you huggin’ my brothers doesn’t make me a happy man.”

“Sorry, brother,” Reaper says, dipping his head toward Renegade. “Just givin’ your woman some background information.”

A look of knowing passing through Renegade’s eyes, his features softening. “Forget I said anythin’ then. Ray, Savior’s getting tired. I’m gonna get her a bath and in bed. You good out here?”

“I’ll have Reaper help me put the fire out and clean up, then I’ll be in,” I say as I move around the fire pit. Leaning down, I hug and kiss my daughter as she yawns before standing and running my hand up Renegade’s chest to hook around the back of his neck and pull his lips to mine. He hums, his free arm sliding around my waist and pulling me a little closer. “I’ll meet you in the bedroom.”

Lust flashes through his eyes, replacing the sadness he showed Reaper a moment ago, and I know tonight is going to be a talk before sex. The other night with Renegade was mind blowing, but even I realized he was holding back. I know he’s worried about me and wants to make sure he doesn’t trigger me or upset me, but I don’t want him to have to be half-happy because he can’t be himself fully, especially when it comes to our sex life. So, we’re gonna need to talk about that.

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