Page 43 of Dancin' with Demons

My heart is beatin’ so fast, it makes my breathin’ harder. I know damn well I’m close to a panic attack, a legit one, and I don’t even know how to process the fact that her mentionin’ leavin’ put me in this state. What the fuck would I do if she actually left one day?

“We’re gonna go, let you two talk,” Catacomb says from somewhere next to me. “Raylynn, I understand if you don’t want Savior stayin’ here for a little while, but I hope you accept my apology and promise that this will absolutely never, ever happen in my club again.”

“Thank you, Cat,” my woman says, her voice back to it’s usual soft calmness. My eyes haven’t left her face, and I don’t know how put I need her to make this panic stop. Her eyes come back to mine and she sighs with a little frown before movin’ across the sofa and crawlin’ onto my lap. My arms lock around her. “I’m sorry for upsettin’ you, Renegade. I really didn’t mean leave, leave.”

Sighin’ loudly, I press my lips to the side of her head and close my eyes. Without openin’ ‘em, I pull her closer and rest my forehead against the side of hers with another steadin’ sigh, the panic slowly dissipatin’. “I can’t lose you and Savior, Raylynn. I don’t think I’d survive without you two now.”

Raylynn turns her head and kisses my cheek. “We’re not goin’ anywhere, hon. If this had happened yesterday, I don’t know. But after last night, I don’t think I can live without you again, either.”

Liftin’ my head, I swallow the lump in my throat, bringin’ my hand up to rest against the side of her face as I trail my thumb back and forth across her cheek. “I really do love you, Ray. More than I will ever be able to express.”

“I think you express it just fine, Makoa,” she whispers before pressin’ her lips to mine, and my name on her lips sends shivers through me.

In every sense of the word, I am royally fucked. A lot of bikers don’t take ol’ ladies or start families because of this right here— they become the reason. They are the only thing a brother will put everythin’, includin’ the club, on the line for. But what I have with Raylynn and Savior means more to me than anythin’— more than the club, the money, the life.

They are the moon to my ocean— they control the entire force of my bein’.

Chapter 16

Raylynn

The last two weeks have been both tense and freeing at the same time.

Any time the other clubwhores are around Savior and I, except Pint and another woman that goes by Velvet, there’s a lot of dirty looks and angry whispering. Kitty hasn’t come back to the clubhouse yet, either, so I’m assuming she’s wherever Catacomb put her still. The times we’re in the bedroom, either just the three of us, or when we have company, which is Reaper and Lacey most of the time, it’s calm and the most normal Savior and I have ever had.

Today might ruin that, though, and staring in the mirror at my hair pulled back in a tight ponytail while I’m dressed in neat slacks and a silk dress shirt, I’m aware Renegade might get super pissed when I leave this room.

“I don’t see why you don’t just tell him you have a job interview instead of trying to just waltz through the common room like he’s not going to notice,” Lacey says from the living area.

Sighing, I join her. “I’ve explained this. Either way, he’s going to think it’s a bad idea and try to say I can’t. I’m sorry, Lacey, but you know better than anyone I can’t go without a job. It bothers me.”

“I know, babe, but Renegade wants you to be happy,” she says, her eyes pleading with me. “If you just explain why it’s important, he’ll understand.”

Shrugging, I lean over and kiss her cheek. “I guess we’ll find out. Thank you for watching Savior. I’ll be back soon.” Grabbing my keys off the rack, I open the door and hold it with my foot to lock the bottom lock before stepping into the hall and closing it tightly behind me. Taking a deep breath, I head down the hall toward the common room. Renegade came out here a few hours ago to hang with the brothers while Lacey and I hung out with Savior for a bit. He’s with us almost constantly, so I’m trying to encourage him to spend time with the club like he did before we crashed into his life.

The moment I step from the hallway to the large room that makes up the entire front half of this building, someone lets out a long, loud wolf whistle. I turn toward the shrill sound and find Pint behind the bar, hoisted partly over the bar top as she grins at me. “Look at you! CEO-hot vibes all over you.”

I can’t help but throw my head back and laugh. “There’s something wrong with you, Pint.”

She pushes back and drops to her feet, laughing. “Shit, woman. Dressed like that, you make me question my sexuality.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” I bark with humor, shaking my head. Moving across the room, the number of eyes watching me makes me hair stand on end, and I know Renegade’s part of that. Just before I get to the door, a body steps in front of me, blocking the door. Huffing, I tilt my head back meeting my man’s confused and irritated gaze. “Please move, Renegade.”

“Or you can tell me where you think you’re goin’ without mentionin’ it?” he says, the irritation in his eyes soaking his voice. “And who the hell is watchin’ Savior?”

Rolling my eyes, I put my hand on his chest and shove him backward some, his eyes going wider. “Or you can remember that I’m your girlfriend, not your fucking child. And that I’ve raised Savior for three years without any help from you so I don’t need your permission for anyone to watch her. Lacey is, by the way, like I’d even trust half the woman in here within ten feet of my daughter.” Without waiting for a response, I shove past him, pushing the door open loudly and stepping into the parking lot, the October chill hitting me as a slight breeze moves through the air. Two steps are all I get before something hard grabs and squeezes my arm, and my whole body jolts and I whip around. “Don’t fucking grab me!”

Renegade immediately lets go and holds his hands up. “Sorry. Ray, I’m sorry. Just, stop for a second. Please?”

Taking a deep breath, I try to calm myself. Sometimes, because of how strongly I care for this man, I forget that we are so new to each other, and our relationship is so new, and it makes me more angry when he does something that bothers me— then I remember that he barely knows my triggers and shit, and it’s still my job to teach him those. “I have a job interview, Renegade. I’ll be back as soon as I’m done.”

His face softens, but his brows come together, clearly confused. “Why didn’t you just tell me? You know you don’t have to work, little love. I can take care of you and Savior.”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you,” I say, still a little snappier than I need to be. “Ineedto work, Renegade. I’ve always had a job, since I was barely a teenager. It’s not about money, it’s about me feeling like I’m doing right by my standards and now, by Savior’s. Sitting here just using your money doesn’t feel right, and it’s never going to feel right.”

Renegade closes the space between us and gently grabs my hips. “Okay. Just let me come with you. I’ll stay in the car while you do the interview, that way, at least you’re protected. That’s the whole reason we came home, remember? You’re not protected if you’re alone.”

Running my hands up his chest, he shivers under my touch. “Okay. I’m sorry for not saying anything.”

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