Page 22 of Dancin' with Demons

I wake up to Renegade running his fingers through my hair right above my ear. I haven’t had moments like this with anyone since the last person I dated during college, and if it was anyone else, it’d make me feel weird. Renegade doesn’t, though, and that in itself is strange to me. Glancing at the clock on the wall next to the television, I internally groan. It’s after eleven thirty at night, and I have to work a double tomorrow. For once, I don’t want to, but I promised Edna and Troy I’d cover the shift, and I refuse to go back on that. Even with Catacomb’s offer earlier tonight for Savior and I to go to Tennessee with them, I’m not going to just leave the people here in Nags Head hanging when they’ve done so much for me over the last few years.

“Let’s go to bed, little love,” Renegade says softly. “You’ve got work tomorrow, and I’m exhausted.”

Sitting up, I yawn and crack my neck to each side before stretching my arms above my head. As I do, I notice Renegade’s gaze roaming over my body. “Why do you look at me like that?”

He smirks. “Does it bother you?”

Bringing my arms down, I shrug. “Not really, no. It should, I think. But even before, nothing about you made me uncomfortable or scared. Honestly, it’s the opposite.” Glancing on the other side of him, Savior has her head on his other leg and is sound asleep with her blanket and unicorn stuffed animal clutched in her arms. “Let me get her to the spare room.”

As I go to slide off the couch, Renegade gently grabs my arm and squeezes. When I meet his gaze, he cups the side of my face, which I’m noticing he does a lot since he just belly-flopped back into my life. He touches me in some way, shape, or form every chance he gets— not always in a sexual way, but more like he’s afraid I’m going to vanish in a puff of smoke or something. Right now, he runs his thumb back and forth across my cheek, and I can’t help butclose my eyes and lean into his hand. When I open them again, he’s got a small smile on his face.

“First, it’sherroom, not the spare room,” he says, his volume low but his tone very much one that screams don’t-argue-with-me. “And secondly, let me put her to bed.”

Huffing, a pang of irritation hits me, so I sit up and push his hand away from my face. “I can take care of my kid, Renegade. I know everything I’ve done may not be up to your standards, but I’ve done pretty good given everything.”

His eyes go wide for a second before he closes them and shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Raylynn, I never said you couldn’t.”

“No, you didn’t,” I snap, shoving off the couch and putting my hands on my hips, “but you and Catacomb just jump in and do everything like I’m not capable of it. Last time I checked, I carried her and gave birth to her— alone. You all just met her a day ago.”

Renegade stares at me for a moment and then gently scoots over, laying Savior’s head on the couch, and stands. Turning toward me, he gently pulls my hands off my hips and laces his fingers with mine, the heat from his palm seeming to flow right through mine and up my arm. “Little love, listen to me. Catacomb and I don’t do things because you aren’t capable. We don’t think that at all. We do them because you’ve been doin’ this for three fuckin’ years on your own, babe, and you deserve some help. I know it’s hard to let us, and it’s hard for you to let anyone in, but please try to at least let the four of us. Hell, even Trick is wrapped around Savior’s little finger. We just want to help, baby.”

And cue the tears.

Damn this man. I don’t understand how someone can look like him, scary and intimidating as all hell, but saying stuff the way he does just makes me a big ball of emotional mess. Hanging my head, Renegade lets go of my hands and steps forward, holding my head to his chest as he rubs his other hand up and down my back. ”I’m sorry.”

“Hey, now,” he says gently, kissing the top of my head as I take a deep breath and sigh at the way this man’s smell comforts me, “same rules apply as before, little love. No apologizin’. Right now, you have nothin’ to be sorry for. Save that for the day you actually do somethin’ shitty to me.”

My head snaps up, and I stare at him, kind of in shock. “Renegade, I’d never do something bad to you. Not on purpose.”

He actually laughs. “Sweetheart, at someone point in this relationship, I’m gonna piss you off so bad you’re going to want to flay me. And you’ll say some shit you don’t mean out of anger. I won’t take it personal because I know the difference between meanin’ somethin’ and hurtin’ others because you’re hurt. But the day or days when that happens, I’ll accept an apology just because it has nothin’ to do with what you’ve been through and everythin’ to do with the fact I already know we’re gonna drive each other crazy sometimes.”

I chuckle, too. “Oh, yeah, and how do you know that?”

Renegade steps forward a little and leans in to softly kiss me. “Because you bring out the absolute bestandworst in me, Raylynn.” His voice is hardly a whisper as he slowly moves his lips across my jaw to below my ear. “Just someone saying your names brings out my protectiveness and, at the same time, makes my jealousy go haywire.” His tongue slowly tastes my skin as he moves down my neck, his other hand gripping my hair just hard enough for me to tilt my head to the side and back a little. “You make me want to change the world but burn it down so that no one can hurt you all in the same moment.”

“Renegade,” I whisper as his lips move back up my neck.

After he moves to kiss my mouth again, he stares down at me, and his chocolate eyes are so vibrant and captivating that my breath catches. “I knew the first time I met you, woman, that you’d either be my destruction or my salvation. Turns out, you were both. Now, grab our stuff for bed, and I’ll tuck babygirl in.” He kisses me again before letting go and turning to scoop Savior off the couch.

As he heads into her new bedroom, I touch my bottom lip as I walk to the front door and flip all three of the locks on it. It’s got a regular lock on the door handle and two deadbolts. Something catches my eye at the top of the door, and studying it, I realize it’s a vertical slide lock. Pushing onto my tiptoes, I shove it upward until it clicks into the bracket. Glancing at the bottom of the door, I find another one, so I push that one down.

Note to self— start asking Renegade about the club and how that stuff works.

I spend the next few minutes straightening up the living room, turning off the television, and grabbing my, Savior’s, and Renegade’s cells off the table. As I pick his up, my finger hits the side button and lights up his lock screen. I freeze, tears building in my eyes as I stare at a picture he must have taken without me realizing it. It’s from us eating lunch today while watching movies. I’m on the sofa with my legs crossed under me, and Savior is standing in front of me with her butt resting on my legs, so she’s kinda sitting but kinda standing. We were watchingThe Nightmare Before Christmas,and at one part, she looked at me and was so excited her mouth was open, her eyes lit up, and I couldn’t help but smile at my little girl. And apparently, Renegade picked that exact moment to snap a picture and made it his lock screen.

What planet did this man come from? Because I’ve never met anyone as hard and tough as him, and I’ve never met anyone as sweet and caring as him, either. And I have no idea what I ever did to deserve someone like him to cross my path once, let alone twice. Getting myself together, I clear my throat and head into the master bedroom. Laying everything on the bed, I pick up Renegade’s phone and plug it into the charger that’s on the nightstand closest to the door and patio. I’m glad he sleeps on that side of the bed because, honestly, I still can’t sleep or stand with my back to an entrance. It sends me into a panic attack and gives me flashbacks of having my back at the door of my condo when those guys snatched me.

Grabbing my new phone, I walk around the bed to the other side and plug it into my new charger. Renegade set everything up in here after dinner while I cleaned up with Sandra and the other guys helped Savior pick the next movie. I don’t remember falling asleep earlier, so they all must have left after that because I don’t remember saying goodbye to them. I plug Savior’s new phone into the charger that’s on the oversized dresser across from the bed, under the wall-mounted television.

“What time do I need to set the alarm for, baby?” Renegade’s deep voice makes me jump as he steps into the room, and my hand goes right to my chest. He stops and looks at me. “My bad, little love. Didn’t mean to frighten you.”

Sighing, I turn and lean my back against the dresser. “Do you ever think I’ll stop being so jumpy all the time?”

Renegade moves around the room, pulling clothes out of the closet and laying them on the bed. “Have you done therapy at all?”

“No,” I say with force.

He stops in the middle of the room and shrugs. “Then probably not, babe. You can’t get over somethin’ you won’t face, and the shit you been through is gonna require a professional. It ain’t like you were mugged walkin’ home from a movie, Raylynn. Six months of torture and rape, hell, I’ve seen bikers lose their mind for less. Hell, I think I lost mine for less.”

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