Page 18 of Dancin' with Demons

Sandra shakes her head. “That isn’t my story to tell, hon. He has to talk about that if and when he’s ready.”

My head kind of spins since her comment really insinuates that whatever Renegade has gone through is directly linked to me, and I don’t like that— not at all. Before I can push it, the front door in the other room bangs, and I jump a mile out of my seat.

“Just take it to the master bedroom, Trick, and shut the fuck up.” Renegade’s voice flows through the house, clearly full of irritation.

Sandra pushes out of her seat and moves to the living room. A few seconds later, the house is quiet again,and I watch as Trickster and Catacomb carry several boxes past the kitchen. I’m not sure if I should get in the way or not, so instead, I stay at the table and drink my coffee as the guys pass by several more times. After fifteen minutes or so, Renegade appears in the doorway.

“Can you come here for a sec, little love?”

Hesitantly, I get up, leave my mug on the table, and follow him to the second bedroom. There’s another bag on the bed, along with the few plushies I’ve got my daughter over the last few years. Stepping inside the room, my hands shake a little. I don’t know why I’m nervous, but I am.

“Is this everythin’ she has?” Renegade glances at the bed and back at me.

“Yeah,” I whisper, looking down at the floor, wishing the earth would swallow me whole. “I told you, we don’t have much.”

“Raylynn, look at me.” His tone makes my head go up without a second thought. “Please stop bein’ embarrassed. If we’re gonna figure shit out and I’m gonna take care of you both, I’m gonna ask a lot of questions over the next few days. Breakfast wasn’t even the fuckin’ tip of the iceberg, babe.”

“Where’s my stuff?” I look around again and don’t see any of the boxes the guys carried in.

“In my room, where you’ll be stayin’,” Renegade says, his eyes never moving from mine.

“Renegade, I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I say quietly.

Lifting my gaze to his again, he steps closer. “Why not?”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I try like hell to keep from getting upset again. “Because we’re obviously attracted to each other, and I haven’t been with anyone since long before I was kidnapped.”

“Hey,” he says, cupping the side of my face, “have I said anythin’ about sex at all?” I shake my head. “And I won’t unless you tell me you’re ready for it, Raylynn. I’m content kissin’ you until my fuckin’ lips go numb, and it doesn’t have to go past that if you don’t want it to.”

My lips part slightly as I take a breath, and Renegade leans down to press his lips to mine. My eyes close as he swipes his tongue along my bottom lip, and a moan bubbles out of me before I can stop it. Bringing my hand up, I rest it on his chest, and his heart is beating hard enough to feel the thud against my palm. His hand tightens against the side of my face and neck, pulling me forward just hard enough that I take a step into him, putting our bodies flush against each other. Renegade’s other hand finds my hip, and for a moment, I forget where I even am.

When Renegade gently pulls back, his eyes are fixated on my face. “I can wait forever, little love, but the day you say we’re good, I’m going to fuck you so good it’ll erase everythin’ else from that head of yours.”

A shiver runs down my spine, and without thinking about it, I fist his shirt in my hand. “What if it’s years before I’m ready, Renegade?”

“You’re worth waitin’ for,” he whispers, and my eyes widen in shock. “Now, go make a grocery list for everythin’ you and Savior want. Sandra and Cat are going to the store soon. And don’t argue. I know y’all ain’t had money to splurge, so put shit you think she might like. She can try everythin’, and that way, we can figure out what the kid doesn’t like so I know what to keep stocked.”

“Renegade,” I say, knowing what I’m about to do might be a bad idea.

“Yeah?” He stands up and just stares down at me.

Before I lose the moment of nerve, I step so our bodies are flush again, reach up and grab the side of his neck like he keeps doing to me, and pull until he bends so that I can kiss him. When I stop and let go of him, his mouth hangs open just a little, and his eyes seem kind of glossy.

“Thank you for helping us.” Turning away from him, I head back to the kitchen, unsure whether to scold myself for finally being the one to initiate a kiss or pat myself on the back for leaving him shocked enough not to have something to say.

Either way, I can’t take it back, and honestly, I don’t want to. Just like the day I kissed him in the hospital before I bolted— his lips on mine are memories I don’t think I’ll ever forget.

Chapter 7

Renegade

It’s after six in the evenin’ and what I’ve had today is everythin’ I want for the rest of my life.

Raylynn is sittin’ on my left, and she’s let me have my arm on her leg with my hand grippin’ her knee the whole time we’ve watched Disney movies today with Savior. I meant it earlier when I told her that sex wasn’t Somethin’ I’d push for until she’s ready, but I equally meant it when I said the day she says I can take her, I’m gonna fuck this beautiful woman into a coma if she lets me. Havin’ her and Savior next to me, I don’t want another drink, I don’t want a whore, nothin’— I just want ‘em, forever. She’s right about us not knowin’ each other that well, and I don’t give a shit. I might not be able to explain my feelin’s for her, but I don’t need to. They’re there, and they’re the strongest damn thing I’ve ever felt for anyone. That’s all that matters to me.

Savior is sittin’ on my other side, leanin’ toward the television, with her stuffed unicorn snuggled in her arms. We’re on our fifth movie. After we watchedMoanaand napped this mornin’, Raylynn and I made grilled cheese for lunch. We’ve been on this couch since and worked our way throughHocus Pocus,The Nightmare Before Christmas,The Lion King,Big Hero 6, and we are just finishin’The Princess and the Frog. Honestly, I’ve never seen a three-year-old sit this still, and I’ve never met one as smart as Savior. The way she’s bounced in her seat and danced to the songs in each movie is fuckin’ adorable. And the smile on Raylynn’s face as she’s watched her makes me feel like the last three years of achin’ for this woman has been worth every moment of pain. I’d die a hundred times to be able to see either of ‘em smile like they have today just one more time, and I know how fuckin’ crazy that sounds, but it’s the truth.

Leanin’ toward Raylynn, she tenses for a moment when I softly kiss her neck, just below her ear. I press my lips to her skin a second time, quickly lashin’ my tongue against her neck, and smile when she shivers. “We need to decide on somethin’ for dinner, little love. I want to make sure you’re both eatin’ enough.”

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