Page 190 of Beautifully Scarred

“Are you excited?” I look down at Monica, who’s between Lilah and me as we head toward the Santa Monica Pier.

She nods a few times, her blonde waves bouncing. “Can I go on the big circle?”

Lilah and I smile at one another over her.

“You don’t think you’ll be scared?” I tease.

She frowns and looks at me over her shoulder, pulling us both forward. “I’m not a baby.”

I chuckle, and we keep walking toward our destination. Lilah and I are incognito—her with large sunglasses, her hair up under a large sun hat, and me with my own set of shades and my ball cap pulled down low so all you can really see are my nose and mouth. We won’t be able to stay for hours, but I’m hopeful we’ll be able to enjoy a couple hours together as a family.

Monica ends up loving the Ferris wheel and forces us to go on it three times. Lilah’s getting as much joy from seeing Monica laugh uncontrollably in our special spot as I am. Once we’ve had our fun on the pier, we grab fries and burgers from one of the vendors and walk down the beach until we find a nice spot to sit in the sand and eat.

“Did you know that I named you after this place?” Lilah says, wiping the ketchup off Monica’s face.

“You did?”

Lilah nods. “This is where your dad and I first came when we moved here.”

“And it’s where we’d come whenever we wanted time to ourselves,” I add.

“What’s it called again?” she asks, her head tilted as though she’s trying really hard to remember.

“Santa Monica Pier.” I ruffle her hair because she’s just so damn cute.

Her face lights up when she registers her name, and she looks back at the rides in the distance.

“Can I go play near the water?” she asks, changing tracks without warning like she always does.

I don’t have a lot of experience with kids, so I don’t know if that’s something they all do or whether it’s just my daughter, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t get a kick out of it.

“Sure, kiddo. But just put your feet in the water. No deeper than your ankles, okay?” Lilah says.

Monica nods. “Okay, Mommy.”

She discards her shoes and runs up to the edge of the water. Lilah and I watch, and I slowly glide my hand over in the sand until it’s on top of hers. She looks at me and smiles.

“It’s great seeing her here, isn’t it?” I ask.

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure I ever would.” There’s a note of melancholy in her voice, but it doesn't stay. “She sure liked the rides.”

“I know. I wasn’t sure she would at first.”

We sit in a comfortable silence, watching as Monica splashes around and chases the odd seagull that lands anywhere in her vicinity.

I hate to break the spell we’re both under, but there’s something we need to discuss. “I got a call from Keane a couple of days ago, reminding me that I owe Kevin ofHW Lifean interview about becoming a father.”

Lilah’s entire body stiffens. “Right… I forgot about that.”

“I’m thinking that maybe early next week, after the awards, I’ll do the interview, so we’ll have to nail down what I plan to say.”

“Okay, what are you thinking?” She stays focused on Monica.

“I have to run it by my manager and PR, but I think it’s best if we say that the two of us didn’t communicate for a long time and it wasn’t until recently that we reconnected. When they press me and ask whether I knew about Monica or not, I’ll refuse to answer.”

Her head snaps in my direction. “You can’t do that.”

“Can and will.”

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