Page 100 of Beautifully Scarred

I grab the remote and rewind. Thank God for modern technology. I watch the same woman crying and pleading. The man trying to hold her up. I hit pause as she walks out of the building.

All the oxygen leaves my lungs as if I’m hooked up to a machine.

There she is.

I’m sure it’s her.

I’m ninety percent sure it’s her.

It’s a little hard to tell, because she's walking and the freeze frame is blurry, but I’ve mesmerized every angle of her face and body. I’d bet my next big box-office hit it’s her.

The sound of the front door closing drags me out of my daze. I hit the power button on the remote. The TV clicks off and I stand, realizing my shorts are wet from the beer spilled.

“Shit.”

“What’s wrong?” Adelaide carries in a few shopping bags, smiling as she sets them on the kitchen island.

“Nothing, I just spilled my beer.” I avoid her gaze and walk over to the stove, reaching for the dishtowel to clean up my mess.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” I blot at the wet spot on the couch, soaking up most of the liquid, then return to the kitchen for a washcloth, feeling Adelaide’s gaze on me the whole time.

“You look pale. Are you sick?”

I squeeze the washcloth of excess water and walk back over to the couch, happy for the distraction.

“I told you. I’m fine.” I head back to the kitchen with the washcloth, walk around the other side of the island to Adelaide, and give her a kiss. “You have nothing to worry about. I’m okay.”

Or I will be. Because I refuse to allow Lilah any more of my headspace than she already has. She will not ruin my future.

“You ready to eat? I have to cook everything, but it won’t take long.” I toss the washcloth toward the sink in the middle of the oversized island.

Adelaide steps toward me. “You’re the best fiancé. Have I told you that lately?”

I smile even though I feel anything but at the moment.

But I will live up to her words. One glance at Lilah will not undo all my efforts to move past her. Who knows if it was even her? I probably conjured her up in my mind.

Chapter Forty-four

JIMMY

Forgetting the past is easier said than done. My past is like a splinter stuck five layers deep. If I move in the smallest wrong way, a sharp pain assaults me.

Seeing Lilah on the television was the splinter puncturing my skin, and I haven’t been able to remove the sucker. She’s always in the background of my mind, always making herself known. Our shared past nags and irritates me.

Last night, I tried to push aside all the plaguing questions, but it’s impossible.

Was it really her?

What is she doing with her life?

Has she finally straightened herself out?

Does she have someone special in her life now?

And what pisses me off more than anything is the fact that I’m relieved nothing happened to her during the bank robbery.

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