Page 77 of The Silent Patient

“What are you talking about?”

I took out Alicia’s diary from my pocket and held it up.

“You might be interested in this. It’s Alicia’s journal. It was written in the months leading up to the murder. I’ve read it.”

Christian looked surprised and a little alarmed. “Where the hell did you get that?”

“Alicia gave it to me. I’ve read it.”

“What’s it got to do with me?”

“She mentions you in it.”

“Me?”

“Apparently you were seeing her privately before she was admitted to the Grove. I wasn’t aware of that.”

“I—don’t understand. There must be some mistake.”

“I don’t think so. You saw her as a private patient over several years. And yet you didn’t come forward to testify at the trial—despite the importance of your evidence. Nor did you admit you already knew Alicia when you started working here. Presumably she recognized you straightaway—it’s lucky for you she’s silent.”

I said this drily, but I was intensely angry. Now I understood why Christian was so against my trying to get Alicia to talk. It was in his every interest to keep her quiet.

“You’re a selfish son of a bitch, Christian, you know that?”

Christian stared at me with an increasing look of dismay. “Fuck,” he said under his breath. “Fuck. Theo. Listen—it’s not what it looks like.”

“Isn’t it?”

“What else does it say in the diary?”

“What else is there to say?”

Christian didn’t answer the question. He held out his hand. “Can I have a look at it?”

“Sorry.” I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

Christian played with his chopsticks as he spoke. “I shouldn’t have done it. But it was entirely innocent. You’ve got to believe me.”

“I’m afraid I don’t. If it were innocent, why didn’t you come forward after the murder?”

“Because I wasn’t really Alicia’s doctor—I mean, not officially. I only did it as a favor to Gabriel. We were friends. We were at university together. I was at their wedding. I hadn’t seen him for years—until he called me, looking for a psychiatrist for his wife. She’d become unwell following her father’s death.”

“And you volunteered your services?”

“No, not at all. Quite the reverse. I wanted to refer him to a colleague, but he insisted I see her. Gabriel said Alicia was extremely resistant to the whole idea, and the fact I was a friend of his made it much more likely she’d cooperate. I was reluctant, obviously.”

“I’m sure you were.”

Christian shot me a hurt look. “There’s no need to be sarcastic.”

“Where did you treat her?”

He hesitated. “My girlfriend’s house. But as I told you,” he said quickly, “it was unofficial—I wasn’t really her doctor. I rarely saw her. Every now and then, that’s all.”

“And on those rare occasions, did you charge a fee?”

Christian blinked and avoided my gaze. “Well, Gabriel insisted on paying, so I had no choice—”

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