His bark is so menacing, for the first time, I feel afraid. He’s plunging into rut, and fuck knows what an alpha would do in a rut.
I don’t hang about to argue. I don’t wait to find out. Gabe has his alpha now. Esra, as much as it pains me, is right. Gabe has no need of me. I scoop up my clothes, clutching them to my chest.
They’re already tumbling together on the bed, Esra tearing off his clothes, Gabe rolling onto his stomach and lifting his hips for his alpha.
“Get the fuck out!” Esra roars, as I hesitate for a moment by the door, watching their beautiful bodies combining in power and grace.
I run. But not before I grab the purple dildo, hiding it in my bundle of clothes.
With the image of these two men circling in my head, the temptation to use it will be too much to resist.
19
Esra
I’m exhausted.Exhausted and knackered. Three days of caring for an omega in heat will do that to you, even if you have two packmates to help you out.
Usually I’m floating in a wiped-out state of bliss in the days following a heat, happy to stay home and curl up with my omega.
Not this time.
This time I’m plagued with thoughts of the past. I keep torturing myself, going over and over how I could have prevented things from happening.
I should have prevented them. I’m his fucking alpha. It’s my duty.
I can’t let the same thing happen again.
I need to protect my omega. I need to protect our pack.
But my packmates seem determined to make the same mistake again, letting an outsider worm in between us and destroy us from the inside.
If they won’t listen to me, then I’m not prepared to stand around and watch the car crash in slow motion. Fuck that.
I’d rather tuck myself away in my lab every night and brood like an arsehole.
Brood and try not to think of my omega. Of the happy sensations I keep catching through our bond. Of the fact he asked her to come to his heat.
Brood and try not to think of that woman too. Of her sandwiched between my packmates, moaning like they were delivering her to Heaven itself.
She’s fucking everywhere in this department. Despite my attempts to keep her out of my lab.
What’s worse than that vision of her in Gabe’s bed? The way she smells. Oh yeah, she reeks. Of my packmates, of what they’ve been doing to her. I can smell them inside her and it’s fucking tearing me apart.
I want to fuck her. I want to watch them fuck her. I want to fuck my omega as she watches.
I want to share her and rut her and roll around in bed with her and my pack.
I can’t. It’s too dangerous.
But the idea of it is driving me half mad.
Perhaps I look it.
At the coffee machine on Tuesday morning, my colleague, Professor Chan, rests her hand on my shoulder, standing on her tiptoes to reach me.
“Are you all right, Esra? You don’t look so good?”
I manage a nod, failing miserably at a sociable expression. “Just having trouble sleeping.”