Page 47 of Unforgivable Sins

She shakes her head vehemently, “No, no, no, no, no, no.” she repeats, clearly in shock and unable to think through the vicious memories that are currently haunting her.

I lean in and wrap my arm around her back, the other sliding under her knees, and I lift us off of the elevator floor. She leans her head into me and continues to cry loud, heartbreaking sobs into my chest. I hit the button that will take us to the top floor, to my penthouse, where I plan to take care of her. Where I plan to stay with her, and hold her, like I should have done that night.

“Shhhh, Wendee, it’s going to be ok,” I try to calm her down as I take us through the penthouse and into my bedroom.

I lay her down on the bed and she curls up onto her side, holding herself as her sobs continue to wrack her body. I walk to the closet, grab an extra blanket, and kick off my shoes before I hurry back to her. I pull of her heels, tossing them onto the floor, and then I unfold the thick, soft blanket and drape it over her. She doesn’t move, or protest, or give any indication she even realizes what’s going on around her. She’s lost in her own mind right now. She’s lost in memories best left forgotten and there’s absolutely nothing I can do to help her.

Except hold her. Be here for her.

I can’t even think clearly myself. I have a moment of hesitation, a moment to ask myself,what in the fuck am I doing?But I push everything else aside and just act on impulse. On what feels right. AndWendeefeels right. She always has.

So, I slide in under the blanket behind her. I push one arm underneath her pillow and snake the other around her waist, and then, I pull her in close. The position is foreign to me. I’ve never held anyone before in my life, but fuck! It feels like coming home. Like this is where I’ve always been meant to be. With Wendee. It feels like she was fucking MADE for me. Her body fits perfectly against mine and I wish I could feel her skin against my skin. And I don’t even mean it sexually. I just want to be as close to her as I can be. No barriers. No clothes or frozen walls. And the thought of what all of this means, how I feel, fucking terrifies me for so many reasons. I force everything from my mind and focus on the woman crying and shaking in my arms.

“Shhhh, I’m here, Wendee,” I whisper against her hair. Her head is tucked in under my chin. “I’m here with you and I’m not leaving you. I promise, I amneverleaving you. You’re safe. You’re safe.”

I keep whispering soothing words as I hold onto her with all of my strength, afraid she’s somehow going to slip through my grip and disappear. After a while, I realize that my voice is the only sound in the room. Her sobs have stopped, replaced by a slow and steady breath. She’s asleep. Wendee is asleep in my arms. I’ve fantasized about this moment more times than I care to admit, but it was never under these dreadful circumstances. I should have told her the truth. Now, I have no choice. She only knows one side of the story.

Well, she’s here with me now, and I’ll be right here when she wakes up. I refuse to fall asleep and potentially lose her. She’s already made it clear that she’ll leave me and head home the first chance she gets. No, I’m going to stay awake, stay vigilant, and hold her for every second that I can. I’m going to keep her safe, or as safe as I can, while she sleeps. There’s nothing I can do for the nightmares that plague her dreams but I can be here when she wakes up. I will be here when she wakes up.

“I’ve got you,” I whisper softly. “I’ve got you.”

Dee – 1 Year Ago

Train Wreck by James Arthur

I’m sitting across from a pair of dark, chocolate brown eyes. They’re so rich and beautiful I could stare into them all day and never get tired of them. It’s like getting sucked into an online rabbit hole of watching those aesthetically pleasing videos. Sometimes they’re not even doing anything crazy, they’re just cutting a damn foam square, but for some reason the simplistic beauty and perfection of it just pulls you in.

Those are the type of eyes I’ve been staring into over dinner. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s been smirking and smiling at me all night, showing off the sexiest dimples I’ve ever seen. I can’t say that this man is the best-looking man I’ve ever seen, but something about him has me hooked. Maybe it’s the dark hair and the almond skin? Maybe it’s the muscles I can see straining against the sleeves of his dress shirt? Or maybe it’s the bright, colorful tattoos I can see peeking out from underneath the rolled-up sleeves? Or maybe it is his eyes after all. And not just their beautiful color and shape but the way his eyeslookat me.

HUNGRY.

He’s looking at me like I’m dessert and he’s got the biggest sweet tooth. It’s such a powerful feeling when a man looks at you like this. You can’t help but feel sexy and strong and in control. I hold the keys to unlocking the treasure he so desperately wants and it’s all up to me if I want to give him a peek, throw the top open wide, or keep it locked up tight.

I Have. The. Power.

“You want to go grab a drink somewhere?” He asks, as he pays the bill for dinner.

Dinner was fantastic. We laughed and flirted all night. There’s no doubt we have chemistry, and I’m not ready to have the night end so I’m grateful he offered a bar as a go-to and not one of our places. I’m not going to sleep with him on the first date and I was worried he’d think all the flirting meant I would. Then again, the nights not over yet and maybe he hopes some drinks will change the way this night ends. It won’t.

“Yeah, that would be great,” I say, with a big cheesy smile on my face.

“After you,” he gestures for me to walk in front of him through the restaurant. A perfect gentleman, or a pervert that wants to ogle my ass. Maybe a bit of both, but it doesn’t bother me.

Once we’re out on the bustling sidewalk, he offers me

his arm and I link mine with his, allowing him to escort me to

wherever it is we’re going.

“So, where are we headed?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Let’s head over to The District and see what catches our eye.”

“And here I was thinking thatIalready caught your eye.” I look up at him, a sly smile playing on my lips.

He pulls to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk causing people to have to swerve around us. “Oh, Dee, you caught my eye the second I saw you in that coffee shop. I don’t know what I would have done if you had declined my offer to take you out. I probably would have gotten on my knees and begged.”

I throw my head back and laugh, he smiles broadly, showing his dimples. “Well, shit. Had I known that I would have said no just to see that play out.”

---