Page 55 of All It Takes

The cat in question, Chester, stared at me through the screened view of the door to his carrier. He looked disgruntled and offended about the situation in which he found himself. I took a deep breath, schooling my expression to neutral, or trying like hell to do so. Chester let out an angry meow.

When I looked back over at Mr. Green, his gaze was steady. “Okay!” I squeaked.

I was ready to cry, but dammit, I wasn’t going to burst into tears in front of Mr. Green. I stared at my computer screen and tapped a few keys, barely able to focus. A twisty sense of uncertainty and anxiety slithered through me.

This feeling was unfortunately familiar, and I hated it. It was tied to my mother and would forever be. I associated it solely with her and my younger years when she took me with her as she bounced from job to job. Never knowing what was going to happen didn’t feel good. It was also so discombobulating to experience her alternate from treating me with gushing attention to ignoring me when my presence was inconvenient for her.

I’d seen Mr. Green a few times since I had learned of his betrayal. Intellectually, I knew he wasn’t the one who had betrayed me. Yet he was… Because I looked up to him, I respected him, and I liked him. He’d been my favorite teacher in high school. Chase’s too.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his tone steady and warm.

When I looked up at him, I burst into tears. I never looked away, and I sensed he felt helpless and uncertain, wanting to fix the situation yet not even knowing how.

All the while, Chester stared at me as if he somehow realized I was dragging his time out here in the dreaded veterinarian clinic.

Mr. Green’s next words made me feel as if he could read my mind. “Tiffany, I’m sorry. I’ve seen you a few times recently, and you usually avoid me. I know you know what happened. I regret it deeply. I have apologized to Chase and your father, but I haven’t had the opportunity to apologize to you. I made a terrible mistake. It hurt my wife, my daughter, and your family.”

I snatched a tissue out of the box on the corner of my desk, blowing my nose noisily before looking up at him and shaking my head. “It’s not your fault. It’s my mother’s fault.”

The empathy in his eyes almost hurt. Chester meowed. “Your mother was responsible for her actions, of course. But so am I. I regret how this has affected so many people. If I could repair the damage, I would. I’m simply trying to own it and move forward. A part of that is acknowledging that I’m sure it’s affected your respect for me.”

The tightness in my chest eased just the tiniest bit. Of course, he had to go and just own it while my mother wasn’t here to do that. She’d never owned up to any of her actions and their consequences.

“Thank you,” I finally said.

He dipped his chin in acknowledgment. “I wish there was more I could do.” He paused, and we both looked at Chester when he let out a wail.

Mr. Green looked back at me, shrugging sheepishly. “Chester is not happy to be here.”

“The vet tech will come up to get him,” I began as I started to reach to tap the buzzer.

Mr. Green shook his head quickly. “Chester can wait for a minute. I just want to say that I don’t know everything about your relationship with your mother. I know it was difficult for you and your brother when you were in high school. Maybe she wasn’t the type of person to consider her own actions and the effect they had on others, but she did love you, even if she didn’t have the capacity to show it. We are all flawed. Lord knows I’m proof of that. I hope for your own sake that you can find some peace in knowing that you are not her. You are your own person. She was looking for something impossible to find outside one’s self. You have it already. You just have to believe it, to believe in your own worth.”

Thiswas why Mr. Green had been my favorite teacher in high school. It wasn’t that he had deep conversations all the time with students. It was more his steady presence, his centered self, and the way he treated everyone with dignity and respect. Considering how ridiculous high school students could be, that was saying something.

This was why it had been so shocking to discover he’d had a brief fling with my mother. I hadn’t thought he would ever be so ridiculous as to fall for her kind of gaudy, effusive flirtatiousness.

“Okay.” That was all I could think to say.

“Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the way you would a good friend. You’ve always been a good friend.”

I swallowed through the tightness in my throat and managed to take a shaky breath. “Okay,” I repeated.

Just then, Farrah came through the side door. She glanced at Mr. Green and me. “Oh, is that Chester?” she asked, gesturing to Chester, who let out an operatic wail as he looked over at her.

Her eyes landed on mine. It was obvious I’d been crying. But Mr. Green was here, so her worried eyes shifted from me to him.

I gathered myself quickly, saying, “This is Chester. And Mr. Green, my favorite high school teacher.” My chirpy voice was almost too bright.

Farrah smiled at him before shooting another glance at me. “Are you ready to go in the back?” she finally asked.

Mr. Green nodded. “Whenever you are. Chester is known for playing dead once we get in there.”

Farrah snorted a laugh, and I couldn’t help but giggle. “Well, that’s a change of pace,” she mused as she lifted the cat carrier. They walked to the back together.

* * *

Hours later, the workday had ended. The last patient, a silly rabbit who had escaped and bounced down the hallway after her appointment, had left with her owner. I was cleaning up the waiting area where a nervous dog had peed in three locations.

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