Page 44 of All It Takes

“I’m fine!” I hurried to explain. “I panicked and didn’t want to scare anybody, so I didn’t say anything.”

Chase ran a hand through his hair, his expression bewildered as he looked at me and then back at our father. When he glanced back at me, I could feel the chill of his disappointment. “Why wouldn’t you tell us about this?”

I ignored the tightness in my chest, fiddling with a napkin. I twisted it between my fingers and shrugged. “I don’t know, Chase. I didn’t want anybody to panic, and it turned out fine, so that made sense.”

Chase looked hurt,reallyhurt. “Tiffany, you’ve been home for months. You’ve always been so supportive of Dad and me and, well, everyone.” His arm swung in an arc as if indicating the entire world.

I looked over at my father, almost desperate for him to help, to somehow explain this, to me as much as to my brother. My father, because he was the man he was, stepped into the chasm that felt like it was stretching between us. “You know, son, sometimes, things don’t make a lot of sense. Especially when we’re scared.”

Chase stared at him before nodding very slowly as he looked back over at me.

“It doesn’t make sense to me, Chase. I just panicked, and it seemed better to keep it quiet. Then I kept keeping it quiet, and it became more of a thing than it ever needed to be.” I twisted the napkin even more tightly between my fingers, blinking back tears as I looked down at it.

I heard my brother take a deep breath before replying, “Okay, I get it. I’m glad you’re okay. Do we need to worry?”

That weight of worry reverberated in my heart. Ever since our mother passed away, I had tried to build a bridge across the gulf she had created between Chase, my father, and me. I knew I wasn’t anything like her, but those years when she had tried to make me her mini-me had been hard. I’d felt so lonely with her. As a little girl, I’d had a deeper understanding of the loneliness she felt in the world because I felt it. Her loneliness was so big. It was painful, like standing in an empty space and calling out for someone only to hear your own voice echo back to you again and again and again.

“No need to worry. I’m sorry,” I said, blinking hard and swallowing before I looked up. I was an expert at not crying even when the tears were wicking up from the tight knot in my throat and stinging my eyes.

Chase took two strides. Acting on instinct, I stood, and he wrapped me in a big hug. His embrace was as sturdy and comforting as it had always been. My big brother always took care of me, or tried to, when we were kids. We had forged a strong bond, which my mother resented. I had tried to make up for the way she’d been by loving everyone as fiercely as I could.

When Chase stepped back, I felt lighter. When I looked toward my father, his soft smile felt like a beam of love.

“Are we okay?” I asked as I looked back and forth between them.

“We’re always okay,” Chase said firmly.

My father nodded emphatically. “Always.”

A short while later, I was driving away when my dashboard lit up with the name McKenna, my brother’s half-sister. Chase’s discovery that he had a whole new family had been fraught for him. That had felt much easier for me because it wasn’t my story. Love was big and generous when it came to everyone but me, or that was how it felt sometimes.

I tapped the screen to answer. “Hey, you!”

McKenna’s voice was warm, and she replied, “Hey there!”

“What’s up?”

“Just thought I’d check in. I’m planning a trip to Willow Brook for business reasons but really because it’s an excuse to visit Chase and your dad and you.”

“Chase mentioned you were coming.”

Emotion crested like a wave inside. It wasn’t this. This just reminded me of how I could deal with other people’s stuff so much easier than mine. When we discovered that our dad wasn’t Chase’s biological father, it had been no sweat for my dad to remind Chase he was his father in every other way and really mean it. It had been a shock, but he had admitted the suspicion had always been there. Worrying about it wasn’t a priority for him. While Chase had been all tied up about it and angry with our mom, which I could understand, I could handle it. I’d inherited our father’s generous and loving nature and his easy acceptance of situations. Maybe I couldn’t hope for love for myself, but I would give it to everyone else.

“Tiffany?” McKenna prompted.

“Oh, sorry!” I rolled my eyes to myself. “I was distracted for a minute by a moose.” Therewasa moose over in a field, standing at a distance as it watched the highway. But it hadn’t really distracted me, and moose were a common sighting in Alaska.

“Well, don’t run into it,” McKenna replied.

“Already passed it.”

“Anyway, I was calling to make sure you’ll be around. I texted Chase and Hallie.”

“I’ll be around. It’ll be great to see you. Dad should be around too.”

“Awesome! Well, I’ll see you then.”

“Let’s get together, just us, while you’re here.”

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