Page 53 of All It Takes

ChapterThirty-Five

WES

I mulled over Janet’s advice later that night. Ross and I played online video games with Chase, and Ross kicked both of our asses. We were just turning everything off, and Ross still had the video game controller in his hands when he glanced over at me.

“What?” I asked reflexively.

Ross blinked up at me before offering, “I know I said grown-up kisses are none of my business, but you really like her.”

I had stood to put my controller in the drawer. While Nilla was a sweetheart, we had discovered she was nosy when it came to things staying out. I turned, feeling flat-footed as I stared at him. “Uh-huh.”

This little boy, who seemed too old for his years, simply stared back at me before shrugging. “Don’t be dumb.”

With that, he stood from the couch and walked over to place his controller in the drawer and shut it. He dusted his hands on his jeans as if he had just finished a hard job before adding, “Good night.”

Without another word, he turned. Nilla leaped off the couch to trot behind him down the hallway.

I was starting to feel like the biggest idiot in the classroom here.

I wanted to say it was on a whim, but it wasn’t. Emotion was rushing through me, a tide that just kept rising. Maybe an hour later, after Ross was in his bedroom with the lights out and presumably asleep, I was still in the living room. I had brushed my teeth and intended to go to bed, but I was too restless.

I lifted my phone, sliding my thumb across the screen and pulling up Tiffany’s number. We frequently texted, usually daily, but for some reason, that had slowed over the past few days.

I called her. The moment the phone started ringing in my ear, nervous anticipation spun in my chest, tightening around my heart as my gut churned with it.

I prayed she didn’t answer while also praying that she did. Because I needed to say what I felt.

The phone clicked, and her voicemail played. “Hey, it’s Tiffany. Leave a message and I’ll call you back. Maybe.”Her tone was light and teasing.

My lips curled in a smile simply at the sound of her voice.

I spoke in a rush. “Hey, it’s me. I need to say this in person, but I’m saying it now so I don’t back out.” I laughed a little nervously. “I know you’re worried about what this means for Ross. He’s my priority too. But I love you, and that’s not going to change. I want to make this work. I’m not trying to pressure you. I guess I think it’s important that you know how I feel.” I paused again, uncertain of what else to add.

“That’s it. That’s the message. I love you.”

I tapped to end the call and lowered the phone. My heartbeat was thundering in a rolling drumbeat through my body. My hands were sweating, and my breath felt short.

I set the phone down on the coffee table and took several slow breaths, trying to quell the emotion rushing through me and driving my heartbeat forward. I stared at my phone, wondering if Tiffany would even play my message tonight or if she was awake.

She didn’t text or call that night.

I could’ve been upset. I could’ve wished I hadn’t left that message. But I wasn’t. I said what I needed to say.

ChapterThirty-Six

TIFFANY

I replayed Wes’s message, ending with,I love you.

My heart felt like it was going to break through my rib cage as I stared at the phone. It was a weekday, and he and I were supposed to meet at the school for parent-teacher conferences. It was really weird. I was functioning as a parent, even if I didn’t fully grasp the role and even if it hadn’t happened the usual way. I’d always been the person who believed family was what you made it.

I thought about my father’s reaction to learning Chase was not his biological son. To him, that had been an irrelevant detail. What was important was the relationship they had and that he’d been a father in the emotional sense for the entirety of Chase’s life.

Now, the idea of going to this parent-teacher conference with Wes had me in a near-panic state. I was almost afraid to face him. I was almost afraid to say aloud what my heart knew to be true. I’d fallen in love with him too. So why wasn’t I thrilled he loved me?

I stood nervously from my kitchen table, hurrying into the shower. I felt restless inside, shying away from the truth and my emotions. I knew why. I was too afraid it wouldn’t hold. I was too afraid it wouldn’t matter. I was too afraid that maybe somewhere inside me I shared that flighty quality my mother had, that deep uncertainty that drove her to constantly look for something else to fill it.

Roughly an hour later, I parked outside the school and got out of my car quickly, not letting myself wait or hesitate. I would face Wes. I would tell him that I still needed some time.

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