Page 47 of Written in the Charts

I’d tried to keep my cool, but I was done. If this was some sort of intervention where they were blaming me for this entire situation, I wasn’t going to sit around and listen to them.

“Evan, sit down.” Derek’s firm voice behind me halted me. “Let the women speak their piece, and if you disagree when they’re done, we’ll go hang the bag in the barn and throw a few punches to blow off steam.”

My chest heaved. I was backed into a corner, and I hated it, but I wasn’t burning bridges today. So I sat, glaring at Maggie as she continued.

“Let me start over.” She took a deep, cleansing breath and held Gypsy’s hand. “She is scared she will miscarry again, because eight years ago today, she lost Chloe.”

My heart wrenched in my chest and I felt like a complete asshole. I sighed, dropping my head. That should be my hand holding Gypsy’s, not Maggie’s.

“Now listen to me, please.” Maggie’s voice was full of emotion, and I heard Gypsy sobbing. “It was my advice that Gypsy followed. She was scared to tell you about the baby because if she lost it, she feared it would bring you just as much pain as it had her when she lost Chloe. She waited because I told her to be sure she was okay before she said anything. And I told her to get to the doctor ASAP because of her past experience. Alright? So if you’re going to be angry with anyone that she didn’t tell you right away, be angry with me.”

I looked up at Maggie and sighed. “Goddammit,” I breathed out, now totally defeated. “Can Gypsy and I be alone?” This wasn’t Maggie and Derek’s battle to fight, and I needed to express myself in a way I couldn’t if they were around. I stood, walking around the table and gently resting my hands on Gypsy’s shoulders.

“Sure,” Maggie said, pushing her chair back. Derek joined her, and they walked down the hall.

Gypsy sat with her head down for a while as I collected my thoughts. “Let’s go have a walk,” I told her, pushing a few of her auburn hairs off her neck. “It’s chilly. Did you bring a coat?” She nodded, sniffling and standing. I left her at the kitchen table as I collected my coat and gloves from the mud room. She met me there, dressed and ready to go out, and she waited as I donned my muddied boots.

I had a lot of apologizing to do.

CHAPTERTHIRTY-FOUR

Gypsy

“I’m an idiot.”

Evan held my hand as we walked across the pasture, avoiding the mud where his previous jaunt with Derek had left a trail of muddy footprints, the evidence of which was on his boots. He stared off at the tree line where the woods met the edge of the property, his breaths coming out in crystalized puffs of air. I couldn’t stop crying, even when I realized my tears were causing frostbite on my cheeks in the chilly evening air. It was almost dark, the light from the barn casting a faint glow across the pasture so we could see better.

“No, you’re not. We just don’t communicate well.” I gripped his hand harder, using the sleeve of my coat to wipe at my tearstained face. “I’m sorry for not being more open with you about things. The grief I had over Chloe... I thought I was over that. But I guess I’m not. It’s affecting me now, and every day just gets worse.”

“Are you in pain? Has anything bad happened?” He seemed genuinely concerned.

“No, I’m not. Nothing has happened.” It was all in my head. I knew that. That didn’t make it any easier.

“Then we just take it one day at a time.”

We? Was my mind playing tricks on me? I tried not to let my hopes get up, but I couldn’t help it. He was there with me, holding my hand, walking with me and talking. I thought he’d gone, left for deployment and taken the promotion. He’d only been in for one other PRP shot since the image results came in.

“Yeah... that’s what Derek says too.” I shivered, wishing we could have had more privacy to talk indoors where it was warmer.

“Fuck, I’m stupid. You want to go into the barn? I think it’s probably warmed back up now that it’s been shut up a while. It’ll be warmer in there.” He guided me toward the barn, helping me over the fencerow that separated the pasture from the corral.

When he opened the door, I felt the warmth radiate out at me and welcomed the change. I expected him to be so angry to see me that he just left, so the fact that we made it through dinner and were now talking was a miracle to me.

“I’m sorry, Evan.”

“No. I’m sorry. I only thought of myself. I didn’t think of you in this whole thing. You must have been so hurt and so scared. I was an idiot. Please forgive me.” He shut the barn door, and I threw my arms around him, sobbing.

“I forgive you. I never got angry with you. I just felt hurt. I didn’t understand why you ran off and didn’t want to listen to me.” Letting him go, I took a step back. I knew it wouldn’t be as easy as a simple apology and we were back to where we were two months ago. A lot had changed, including my body.

“Look, we need to take this one day at a time. Alright? It’s obvious we have things to work out, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try. For now, I just need you to know I know I’m an asshole and I am sorry.” He grabbed a blanket and laid it across the bales of hay, gesturing at it. “We could sit and talk.”

I shrugged, preferring to stand for the moment. I found myself warming up both in temperature and in emotion. Being with him again made me feel safe, like even if something went horribly wrong, at least he would be there for me.

Evan gazed into my eyes, and I found myself entranced. His finger connected with my skin as he lightly traced the outline of my jawline. My entire body went limp. I was putty in his hands. The sexy, gentle way he caressed my face caused the butterflies in my stomach to flutter uncontrollably. If he kept this up, we would be spread out across this hay, fucking like the inner wild animals we oftentimes tapped into. The look in his eyes implied that he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

“If you keep rubbing my face like this, it’s going to lead to something else,” I warned.

Evan traced his thumb across my lip. “What if I don’t want to stop?”

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