Page 22 of Written in the Charts

“Yeah, I do get it. When Mom died, I blamed my dad for everything. You just blame your mom instead of your dad. What? She didn’t tell you about it until it was too late? You wanted to save him but you couldn’t. So instead of facing the grief, you ran off. You left this girl behind with your baby, and now you’re pissed. At who?” He stood in front of me now, shaking his head.

“It seems like you’re pissed at yourself over that one, but you’re letting this thing between your ex and your friend, and even your mother, all funnel into this relationship with the current girl, who you obviously care about.”

“Shut the fuck up, Holt.” I was so angry, and he was so right about everything.

“No, I won’t. You know why? Because we’ve been working together for the past six months. With whoever this girl is, that’s the happiest I’ve seen you. Don’t fuck this up. How the fuck was she supposed to tell you she was pregnant or lost a baby?” Peter shoved his hands in his pockets. “So if you need to unleash your anger, do it on me, but don’t do it on her. You might not get another chance with her.”

“Why the fuck do you care?” I yanked the hat off my head and ran a hand through my sweaty hair.

“Because if Derek hadn’t done this for me when I was stuck in my head, I’d never have survived. It’s about time I pay it forward.”

I relaxed my shoulders. He was right. I was taking my anger out on her when she didn’t deserve it. Gypsy deserved the world, but I was an idiot. She’d never talk to me again, anyway, except for maybe at an office visit for PRP therapy.

CHAPTERFOURTEEN

Gypsy

Derek’s office was so much smaller than Dr. Marshal’s, and the HR lady, Barb, was always so friendly. Today, she’d baked delicious chocolate brownies with icing on them, and I’d eaten three of them already as I cried at lunch and talked to Maggie. She listened attentively to me and dusted the crumbs off the table in front of me, offering a napkin for my tears.

“Thanks for being such a good friend. I just can’t believe he just hung up and that was it. He hasn’t responded to any texts or emails. He won’t pick up when I call. I’m really upset.” I sobbed harder, blowing my nose every so often. The napkin was scratchy, and I knew my nose would be raw by the time I was done telling her my story.

A few times, Tammy, the receptionist, or Barb stuck their noses in, but Maggie waved them away. Derek even entered and turned right around. I never saw the look on his face because I was staring at the floor, but I recognized his shoes. The only pair of men’s shoes in the office because he was the only man who worked here.

“Oh, Gypsy, I’m so sorry you’re having a rough time with this. I really wish there were something I could say or do to make it better.” Maggie’s hand gripped my wrist. I looked at the diamond on her finger, sparkling in the light. She had what I wanted—the dream. A gorgeous husband, a happy family, a great life.

“I really hurt him. I don’t think I can fix it.” I sniffled and wiped my eyes again, trying to calm down. All of this stress was affecting my ability to think straight, which had even messed with my schooling and my grades. I couldn’t keep letting it affect my future career.

“So just give him some time to cool off.” Maggie picked up her soda and sipped it, then set it back down. “Guys blow up about things, and then they cool off and realize they were overreacting. You know? Or did you forget how I hid my pregnancy from Derek the entire time until I delivered? He was pretty angry about that, and he got over it.”

I nodded. I remembered telling her countless times to talk to him and that he would understand. She had refused my advice, which was why I had taken her advice to tell Evan about the past. It just hadn’t worked out the way either of us thought. Neither of us knew he would be that upset about having not known.

“I am just so worried he will never talk to me again.” The brownies in front of me looked so appetizing, but I’d already had too many. I pushed the pan away and picked at my fingernails. “And on top of all of this that’s going on with Evan, I’m sneaking around trying to kindle a flame there while hiding it from Dr. Marshal. He came into the appointment once, right after Evan and I had been a little naughty in the office.”

I watched Maggie’s eyebrows rise. “You did what?”

“Yeah, and I thought he was going to say something. I was so panicked. Anyway, why am I stressing myself out over a relationship with him that I could lose my residency and potentially risk my entire future over? What is so special about him that I’d do that?”

Maggie offered a painful smile. “You love him. That’s what you do when you love someone—you take risks. And it’s obvious.” She reached for my hand again. “I can see it as plain as the nose on your face. You glow when you talk about him.”

That comment brought a smile, but it hurt too. It didn’t matter whether I loved him enough to follow him across the globe. If he didn’t want to talk to me again, there was no reason to hope that we’d have a future, and for two weeks now, he hadn’t spoken to me.

“There’s more?” Maggie nursed her soda, her watchful eyes prying into my thoughts.

“Yeah.” I shrugged and felt shame wash over me. “I failed a test. I think it’s because I was spending so much time with Evan that I wasn’t studying as much as I should have been. But honestly, the classes are really challenging.”

“Of course they are. They’re for your doctoral degree.” She chuckled. “Have you asked Cameron for help?”

Dr. Marshal had offered to help on many occasions, and I’d asked him now and then for a bit of coaching, but a tutor was a whole level of commitment I wasn’t sure he was ready to offer. I looked at Maggie and shrugged. I’d thought of asking Derek to help me, but with the twins I felt like he wouldn’t have time.

“I can. I just worry that it’s a lot to take on. He’s so busy with the practice, and you know he’s head of surgery at Mercy, so there’s that.” If I picked at my fingernails any more, I’d pick them clean off my hands. Maggie covered my fingers with her hand and squeezed.

“The only thing you can do is ask. I’d help you myself, but between the twins and my job, I have no time. Just wait until you’re a mother. You’ll understand.”

“No, I understand already. That’s why I haven’t asked Derek.” I gave her a smile and pulled my hands away, wiping my face. I needed to go wash my face before seeing any more patients today. My face probably looked like a wreck. I hadn’t even brought makeup with me to fix it. Why had I broken down crying?

“Did I hear my name?” Derek peeked into the breakroom with a stupid grin. He strolled right in and picked a brownie out of the pan. “Man, Barb sure can cook.” His wavy brown hair fell in his eyes and he tossed his head. His grin as he took a huge bite of the brownie was refreshing. We’d been hanging under a dark cloud since we started the conversation. I needed the reminder that my life was bigger than my moment and that no matter what happened, there were people who loved me. Even weirdos like Derek.

I chuckled. It was nice to know I had a family here at the office. I missed them a lot. With my residency hours, college, and spending time with Evan, I hardly saw them anymore. One day a week, I worked here at Holistic Health, and the rest of my waking hours were spent trying not to let my life fall apart.

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