Page 65 of Not Your Pucking Girl

“Thanks,” I say, giving him a tight smile.

“Is everything okay?” Sophie asks, leaning forward in the seat and placing a hand on my shoulder.

I take a deep breath and kick over the engine. “No. It’s not,” I tell them honestly. “I’m sure Miller will talk to you when he’s ready,” I tell them both, unsure how he would feel about me sharing his heartache. I glance over at Miller to find him on the verge of passing out, but I have a feeling sleep is going to be hard for him to find tonight.

I pull out of my spot and reach over to him with my free hand, taking his hand in mine and lacing our fingers. He gives me a sad, tortured smile and squeezes my hand gently.

We drive home in pained silence and arrive back at our doorstep twenty minutes later. True to his word, Tank helps me get Miller upstairs. “Thank you,” I tell him. “I’ll call you guys in the morning.”

Tank gives me a curt nod and makes his way back down the stairs.

I lead Miller into the bathroom and begin stripping him. I hear Sophie and Tank let themselves out the front door before hearing the distinct sound of the door being locked. I mentally send Tank another thanks, knowing that it’s one less thing I have to worry about tonight.

Miller rests against the vanity as I lean into the shower and wait for the water to warm up. I pull off my clothes and drag Miller into the shower behind me. He wobbles slightly but manages to get himself in the shower.

I focus solely on getting him cleaned up, scrubbing the foul scent of dirty cigarettes and alcohol off his body. Reaching up, I wash his hair and watch as he closes his eyes to allow me to rinse it out. Once he’s clean, I press my body against his and wrap my arms around him.

I feel him harden against my stomach and hear him inhale deeply. I raise my head from his chest and press my lips to his. “I need you,” he says with a sharp edge to his voice, and I realize that this is something different. This isn’t going to be sweet and soft. He isn’t going to make love to me. He’s going to fuck me, and it is going to be hard, fast, and raw.

Animalistic.

“Okay,” I nod, looking up into his eyes so he understands completely. “Anything you need.”

He groans into my hair and flips me around so my back is to his chest. His fingers wrap around my hip as he yanks me back into him, crushing my ass against his erection. He places his free hand on my back and bends me over as I throw my hands up against the wall, just in time to catch myself as he slams into me.

I cry out as he pounds into me, over and over again to the point of pain, but I don’t dare stop him. I know how desperately he needs this release. His fingers dig into the flesh of my hip, and I know for sure it will leave a bruise, but I can’t find it in myself to care. He needs this, and I will do anything to help ease that pain.

His free hand snakes around the front of my body and pinches down on my clit, sending me into an overwhelming wave of pleasure, my orgasm sneaking up on me in surprise. I scream out as he pumps harder, and then finally, he stills inside me as he finds his release.

Miller takes a deep breath as he pulls out of me and lets go of his grip on my hip. He turns me back around and pulls me firmly against his body.

“Come on, let me take you to bed,” I say, turning off the water and stepping out of the shower. Dragging him along, I grab a towel, quickly drying us off before leading him to our bed.

I skip the whole dressing thing, deciding that would be way too hard, and put him straight to bed before rushing to the home office, finding a trash can under the desk. Coming back to our room, I place the trash can down beside the bed, ready and waiting in case he needs to throw up.

After placing a glass of water and some aspirin on his bedside table, I finally climb into bed beside him and open myself up for whatever he needs. He rolls over to me and pulls me into his arms, nuzzling his face into my neck. “Thank you,” he murmurs.

“It’s okay,” I tell him. “I just wish I could take away your pain.”

“I know,” he sighs. “Me too.”

With that, Miller quickly falls into a tortured sleep, his head resting heavily on my shoulder. It causes me to cramp up, but I couldn’t possibly disturb him. Instead, I wrap my arms more firmly around him as he jumps and frets in his sleep, all the while calling out for Mia to come back to him.

Iwakeafewhours later, get myself dressed, and pack a few bags for myself and Miller. I’m riffling around in the kitchen to put something together for his breakfast when I hear him approaching from behind. His arms circle my waist, and he pulls me back against him.

“Sorry about last night,” he murmurs in my ear.

I turn around in his hold and look up into his bloodshot eyes. “It’s okay. You needed it and that’s all that matters.”

He doesn’t reply but holds me closer and lets out a deep breath. When he finally releases me, he takes a look around the kitchen and notices breakfast there waiting for him. He cringes at it and then looks back at me with regret. “Thanks, babe, but I don’t think I can handle food for a few hours.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure. Don’t worry, I’ll eat it,” I say, opening the cutlery drawer to pull out a knife and fork.

Picking up the plate, I make my way into the living room and sit down on the couch with my legs crossed. Miller comes and joins me on the couch while I eat, sitting beside me in silence, lost in his thoughts. I’m no mind reader, but I’m certain about where his thoughts have led him this morning.

Finishing my breakfast, I lean forward to place the empty plate on the coffee table, and as I do, Miller grabs me and lifts me onto his lap. I loop my arms around his neck and give him a soft kiss. “I think you should give Tank a call. He’s worried about you.”

“Yeah, I’ll do that this morning,” he says, dropping his face to my shoulder. He takes a deep breath before his pained tone cuts through the room. “Will you come home with me? I know it’s not the best circumstances to meet my family, or what’s left of it,” he scoffs. “But I can’t do this without you.”

---