Page 25 of One Bride for Three Single Dads

“You’re right, sweetie, you’re right,” I say in a softer voice.

It works on ex-wives and baby animals. Maybe it will work here.

“So I am not fired?”

“No! Why would you even think that?”

She raises her cell phone and holds it out toward me. I squint at it for a second. It’s me. Me and the guys.

Oh, shit.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were on Tinder,” I smirk. “That’s hot.”

“It says you are going to Ireland,” she huffs.

“Well, yeah.”

“Why does it say that?”

“Because we are going to Ireland,” I shrug.

“But why is it on Tinder?” she continues, clearly outraged.

The way she says Tinderrrrrrrrrrrrr and draws out the R sound makes it seem sort of absurd. Now I can hear it. Okay. Maybe she has a point.

“Well, you know… I mean…”

She narrows her eyes. “You’re looking for my replacement,” she accuses.

I narrow my eyes back at her. She seems to have forgotten that we are not fucking. What is the right way to remind her of that? Is there a delicate phrasing of this fact that would work?

“No, that’s not what we’re looking for.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know that?” she shoots back.

“Well, it’s on, you know,Tinder?” I reply slowly.

She looks down at her phone and swipes through the description I wrote again. I sort of want to ask her what she thinks of it, but now is probably not the time.

“So I am not fired?”

“Well, there is still that question about the STD...”

She glares at me.

“Forget I said that.”

Her eyes drop back to the cell phone. I see her body language soften a little bit. That’s good. At least she knows she is not fired. If that was her big concern, okay.

Are we good here? Can I start sneaking away again?

“You are looking for…”

She falls silent again. I see her thumb through the pictures, then back in the other direction. Those are some of our best pictures. I really think they do us justice.

Suddenly she looks up at me again and narrows her eyes.

“I thought you didn’t date,” she says accusingly.

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