Page 11 of Saved By the Mafia Loverboy

I couldn’t answer. The fact that he’d even asked had tears welling in my eyes again. I leaned into him, resting my forehead against his chest. His arms wrapped around me and he squeezed me. I felt so torn in two, and he seemed to understand. He was in this world, raised in it, comfortable in it, proud of it. I was not.

“Cam…” I looked up at him and he turned his head down, capturing my lips in a kiss. It was soft and gentle, passionate but not aggressive. Comforting.

I kissed him back, savoring the moment between us as if it would be our last like it. I believed I knew what I had to do, but his soft touches made it more difficult to stay grounded in the thought that I had to turn him in. He nudged me, turning me until my back was to the bed. When his kisses deepened and he started pushing me backward, I began to feel my body responding.

An ache for comfort started low in my belly and spread outward, making my heart race and my groin tense. Backed against the bed, calves pressed against the sideboard, Cam took the towel and pulled it off. It dropped to the ground and his hand covered my breast. I wanted him, but not for sex—for the intimacy of it, our hearts and minds connecting.

I wasn’t ready for him to push me onto the mattress, but he did. And while I got my bearings, he tore off his pants, leaving them lying on the floor where we’d just been standing. He crawled over to me, nestling between my knees as I spread my legs to him. It wasn’t like last time.

No handcuffs, no resistance, no alcohol. No need for any of that. I wanted him, and I wanted to feel close to him, as if we were age-old lovers who had found each other after being separated for a long period.

Cam crashed into me, pushing in and filling me. I arched my back up to meet him. I invited him in, welcoming the thrusts and encouraging his hands to roam. His body ground down against my clit, stimulating me with each forceful drive. My fingernails sank into his skin, pleading with him to give me more, but no words would form.

Release came in waves, crashing over both of us as he joined me. My body spasmed beneath him, and he flooded me, our sex draining out onto his comforter. And when he had finished, and my tremors had ceased, he rolled to the side and pulled me into himself.

Cam pushed a wet strand of hair out of my face and pulled me against his body. I didn’t feel quite as cold, but I still felt just as scared. Even Cam seemed to be less confident than normal, but maybe that was just my own insecurity. I studied his face in the dim light, watching his eyes search mine.

“I should be going to the precinct, turning myself in.” I heard the shaking in my voice as I spoke and Cam sighed.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. You had no part in that. That guy was going to hurt you, and maybe even kill you if I hadn’t have showed up.” He furrowed his brow. “But I understand. If you feel like you’ve got to turn yourself in, then do it. My dad will take care of me.”

I longed for the same warmth we’d just shared, for him to kiss my forehead, whisper it would be okay. Anything to make me feel better. But I was a part of his world now, of crime and violence without remorse. Only, I didn’t fit in here. I wasn’t the type of person who could handle the guilt that came with murder. I was Raskolnikov. The guilt would eat me alive.

“If I don’t, Cam… my entire career.”

“I said, I understand.” He sighed again, then pulled away and sat up. With his feet planted on the floor, he ran a hand through his hair. “I couldn’t just let you die, Murphy.” The way he looked back at me stung. He had saved my life, or at the very least, he had saved me from being assaulted. Who was I to disregard that?

I reached for him but he stood and picked up his clothes, dressing before pulling some shorts and a t-shirt out of this drawer and tossing them to the bed. “Get dressed. I can take you home.”

Cam left the room before I could protest. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to protest. I felt stuck—polarized. My heart was tearing in two. If I said nothing, eventually the ballistics crew would find out my gun was a match to the bullet that killed that man. If I turned myself in, I’d be forced to tell them everything. I’d lose Cam. And how could I do that to him when he saved my life?

I lay there and cried. How had I gotten such strong feelings for this man that I couldn’t do my job? And when had that happened? I was in love.

12

CAM

I’d been to every shop on this street already this morning, collecting or destroying video footage where it was available. My sister, the chronic snooze button hitter, had been the last to arrive at work, and I knew the cops would be showing up soon to see if her cameras were working.

The bell above the door of the little flower shop she ran dinged as I entered. A wave of overpowering scents blasted me, making my nose itch. The storefront of the shop was small, barely able to hold a dozen customers, while the back was large enough to warehouse flowers from all over the globe—and some of my father’s not so savory products.

Jenn was busy unpacking a box behind the counter, the large counter space where she worked cluttered with ribbon and scissors, and a various assortment of gift wrapping and tags. She looked up at me, tossing her golden-brown hair over her shoulder and glaring.

“What do you need so early in the morning, that you made me get here an hour before we usually open?” She smacked her gum and straightened, putting the box to the side.

“I need access to the camera footage from last night.” I walked around behind the counter, much to her disdain. She scowled at me and picked up a paper cup with a Seattle’s Best emblem emblazoned on the cardboard thermal cuff wrapped around it.

“What did you do this time?” she asked, walking off toward the back of the shop. I followed her, not offering any information. We ended up in a tiny closet in the back of the cluttered storage room. A computer there was wired to a series of monitors and a black box, all part of the recording system.

“Where is your fire extinguisher?”

Jenn looked up at me, confused. “What do you want that for?”

“Just give it to me.” I backed up as she moved toward me, pursed lips and furrowed brow.

“Must be bad this time, huh?”

She moved a few boxes and behind it was the glass case with a fire extinguisher. She put a key into it and opened it, and I took it from her, moving directly to the back door. This security footage had to go. I stepped out into the alley and checked to make sure there were no witnesses, then shut the door, smashed the door handle and kicked the door in.

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