Page 65 of Arianna

In days, she managed to conquer my heart without any resistance from me.

Feeling my legs give out, I drop to the floor beside her bed. Reaching up, I grab her tiny hand and don’t let go for even a second, not even when sleep claims us both.

* * *

BASTIAN

I don’t realize I have been holding my breath until I could breathe properly the moment I step foot inside my home, where my very sick baby is.

Sidestepping my security, I enter my home and hurry my pace toward Ellaiza’s room. Since the moment she came into my life, there haven’t been many sick incidents because my kid is a healthy baby, but on the rare occasions that she does get sick, we have her pediatrician on call.

I have never been away from her for more than a day, and today was no exception, but I will not forgive myself for not being here when she needed me most.

Fuck.

I had two business meetings today and one late dinner with some of the investors for my chain of restaurants in France. There was no signal while we were up in the air, and once we landed, Benjamin’s countless text messages, emails, and missed call notifications were able to come through.

I had my heart in my throat the entire car ride here, and still, to this moment, I have the same crippling feeling in my gut. One that will not go away until I see with my eyes that my little girl is okay.

Racing through the halls, it takes me but a minute to find myself entering my child’s nursery, and once I open the door, my heart settles and softens for two entirely different reasons.

My baby girl is fast asleep, looking a hell of a lot better than the pictures Benjamin sent an hour ago, with one chubby fist in her mouth and the other holding tight to Arianna’s fingers.

Making sure my baby’s breathing is even, I reach forward to ensure her fever is gone.

A relieved sigh escapes me when I confirm she is no longer warm.

Taking a deep breath, I let my eyes travel to the sleeping beauty currently passed out under my daughter’s bed, holding tighter to her as if it is all a dream that might slip through her fingers the instant she opens her eyes.

Wavy blonde hair falls over her cheeks, accentuating her youthful looks. Her face is rid of any makeup, and her plump lips form an adorable ‘O’ shape while she snores softly.

My eyes zero in on their joint hands, and suddenly my chest feels tight. Since the moment she arrived in my home, she and my daughter have been inseparable, and I don’t know how to feel about the new development yet.

However, tonight, I am grateful she was here.

I am grateful that she didn’t leave my girl alone and that Ellaiza had someone besides Benjamin to look after her in my place.

Someone who…cares.

Hovering over the crib once more, I place a soft kiss on my daughter’s forehead. “Sweet dreams, my heart.”

Then, I gently pick up the sleeping girl off the floor, covering her when her oversized shirt bunches up, almost exposing her to my eyes. I ignore the unknown and overwhelming feeling in the pit of my stomach the moment Arianna is in my arms. How she feels so small and vulnerable is a total contrast to how she acts when awake.

I hoist her up higher, careful not to wake her, and walk towards her bedroom. Once inside, I gently place her under the covers. She stirs in her sleep but quickly settles down.

She looks peaceful and young. So young and carefree. The permanent scowl she reserves only for me is nowhere to be seen.

Gorgeous.

I have never seen anyone as beautiful as Arianna, and that has me all tied in knots because how could I look at this girl and not feel all the hatred I feel towards her father? How is it possible that every dark thought fades away when I stare at her?

The resentment and the pain should be present, but they are not. They haven’t been for a while, or maybe they never were, and I have been fooling myself.

Because all I see when I look at this stunning creature is a beautiful mess and a thousand what-ifs.

What if she were older?

What if she were someone else?

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