Page 48 of Arianna

I swear that if someone dropped a pin, we could hear it in this silence.

Raising my head, I avoid his eyes, “It’s no–”

“Look at me.” His voice is tender again, laced with regret. Shit.

“Never. Do you understand me? I would never hurt you, and neither would anyone here.” He says this with so ferocity that it is hard not to believe him. I do. I believe he would never lay a hand on me, but people change. I learned first-hand how the people closest to you are the ones that cause the most damage.

However, something inside tells me I am safe with him. It is the others part I am not so sure about. Still, I nod.

I unclench my jaw, straighten in my seat, and look into his eyes, no longer cowering or afraid.

Benjamin sighs when realizing there is only uncomfortable silence between us. I always do this. I retreat into myself when I feel attacked or, in this case…embarrassed. “Why don't you familiarize yourself with the property while I make some calls?”

Grabbing a napkin, I wipe my mouth, then hop off the stool and leave him to deal with what I just revealed without wanting to.

I am not naive.

I know Sebastian knows more about me than I want him to. The question is, how much does he know? I doubt father told him anything but his version of the truth. The one that does not make him look like an absolute piece of shit father and human being. Not wanting the only friend I truly have to think any less of me, I walk out of the kitchen and into the hall in search of room to breathe.

Will he reveal my secret?

Will he report to his boss that I am not only the cold-hearted brat he believes me to be, but once I was a child who only knew neglect, heartache, and abuse?

Dammit.

Little by little, the ironclad walls I built to keep me safe are crumbling, and it is all due to every kind gesture and thoughtful gift these men have given me.

I never knew love without pain.

Kindness without punishment.

There was never anything freely given that they didn’t use as a weapon against me.

That is why I learned never to expect anything.

I learned to be without affection.

Kindness.

Everything that shaped a child into a decent human being.

Not the mess that I sometimes am.

A mess I keep hidden so no one can exploit it.

Until Sebastian came into my world and threw me into his own.

When I find myself inside the spacious living room area, I stop and stare at everything around me, realizing how cold it feels.

Cold and dark, I am used to.

However, this is something else entirely.

For a home, it feels…empty.

There are no picture frames.

Nothing but the minimal.

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