Page 43 of Arianna

He moves towards the living area, so he can report to his boss as he does every second of the day. I hate myself a little for wondering if Sebastian asks about my days because he truly cares about my well-being or because he wants updates on his acquisition so he can report to my father.

Not wanting to ruin my night, I get up from the stool I was sitting on and move toward the living area, where Benjamin is now seated at his desk, typing rapidly. “Thank you… Benjamin.” There I said it, and every time, friendship or not, it feels like someone is pulling teeth from me without anesthesia.

Some women are born with bright and bubbly personalities, while others, like me, were not that lucky.

I am more cold night than sunny day, and I have made my peace with it.

When I turn toward the narrow hallway that leads to our respective bedrooms, I notice white and gold confetti on the floor. What is this? I wonder, looking back into the living room to find Benjamin with a knowing look on his face and a huge grin.

“I told you I hate surprises.” Hate is not a strong enough word to describe how I truly feel about them. Nothing good comes from them. Absolutely nothing. In a past life, surprises were followed by painful words or broken bones. My bones and skin healed, but the taunting voices reminded me of the hell I once lived in.

“And we’ve established that I don’t give a fuck, you’re still getting them if I can help it, but before you go biting my head off like an extremely adorable yet annoying gremlin,” he looks pointedly at me, his smile never wavering. “I did warn him. Now go on,” he turns in his seat, dismissing me. “I have some calls to make before I get some shuteye.”

I let the comparison to an obnoxious animal slide and concentrate on one thing.

I did warn him.

Who?

Sebastian?

Is he to blame for all this unnecessary and unwanted attention?

Why would he do this?

Why would he ever care to do this?

So many questions, yet he is never here to answer them…

Leaving Benjamin to it, I make my way down the dark hall noticing more confetti on the floor and white congratulatory balloons of all sizes. There is even one with a graduation cap on it and a diploma. Christ, the uncomfortable feeling in my stomach grows stronger with every step I take toward my bedroom door.

Pushing the door open, I hold my breath, not knowing what awaits me behind it. What I see freezes me in place. Roses painted gold all over my bedroom. On top of the bed, the desk in the corner, and more bouquets spread all over the room. Dozens of balloons floating, almost touching the ceiling.

I should not allow myself to enjoy this moment because I don’t trust them. The last time someone celebrated me it was a way for my family to flaunt their riches among their crowd. It was never about me.

Nothing ever was, but this moment right here.

This day, today…is.

Moving around the room, I laugh at how extra this all seems.

Gold roses.

Only a man like him would think to give gold roses. I would have thought he would choose black roses since I bet that is how he sees me.

Black.

Boring.

Empty.

However, no.

He chose gold roses, and somehow even though it should not, it warms a part of me that has been frozen for so long that I didn’t even know it was possible.

Fuck you, heart, don’t be stupid now. You cannot afford another blow.

I skim the tip of my finger along the delicate petals of the flower and take a second to admire them. How strange but beautiful.

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